Anyone out there know of a word for "one who wants to be envied"? someone who wants the ig house, new car, brilliant children or a beautiful wife less for himself and more so friends, neighbours, colleagues and so forth say "wow!".

insecure comes to mind, but doubtless there's a psych term somewhere.

I believe the word you are looking for is "narcissist."

In the DSM-IV there is defined a personality disorder called narcissistic personality disorder. There are nine criteria, of which a person must possess at least five in order to be considered to have the disorder:

1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

3. Believes he is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

4. Requires excessive admiration

5. Has a sense of entitlement

6. Selfishly takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends

7. Lacks empathy

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him

9. Shows arrogant, haughty, patronizing, or contemptuous behaviors or attitudes

* * * *

I had a colleague who I felt exibited nine out of nine of the above, which I thought was remarkable (in addition to being unbearable). I mentioned this to another physician who is a psychiatrist, and he was completely unimpressed, commenting that he knows many physicians who fall into the 9 out 9 category.

Thanks - that sounds about right. And it's probably frightening to think of how many people would fall into that category - especially if you look at professions. Fighter pilot and surgeon would seem likely candidates - in fact, 9/9 might be mandatory to survive!

On a less clinical level there are social climbers (like Hyacinth Bucket - pronounced bouquet - from "Keeping Up Appearances") and status seekers. Those that are not so much pathological as annoying.

See also

Christopher Lasch,The culture of narcissism: American life in an age of diminishing expectations, New York: Norton, 1991.

And Alice Miller, "The Drama of the Gifted Child," for a lucid, Freudian approach.

>for a lucid, Freudian approach

YAO*


*Yet Another Oxymoron

No fan of Freud, I, believe me, but hers is a remarkable book.