Often I receive requests from editors, event hosts, researchers, and others who are looking for writers, speakers, interview subjects, etc. They are welcome to post their messages here. No spam, please. If the post is genuine and relevant, it's more likely to be well-received by the members of this community.

Thanks, wordsmith, for providing this place for those who are interested. Although there might not be a lot of activity here at first, those who write and speak professionally will enjoy this forum.

Best regards,
Wordwind

PS: I want to add that those who believe they have the ability to write or speak as well as someone who does so professionally could find a--if not big--modest break.

I am a self-declared authority on taboo language, "everything you always wanted to do, but were afraid to say." As a student of the underbelly of the language, I have written a unique study on the words about sex and other bodily functions--slang, rich and colorful; euphemisms, flowery, arcane, and remote; and quaint terms rescued from English past. All are suggestive of the romanticism, cynicism, violence, and humor with which the actors, the parts, and the act itself have been viewed through the centuries. Combining a study of street-talk, with a survey of history, poetry, drama, and the great works of Western literature, Bawdy Language delves both into the origin of these words and phrases and the wide variety of synonyms for them. It is very much a legitimate area of study, and one which speaks directly to the human condition --scholarship that is both personal and entertaining. As you can guess, people have very mixed feelings about providing a venue for me. I can assure you, however, that as evidenced by the book, it is all in the very best taste. I hate to sound so promotional, but... Check out my website at www.bawdylanguage.com for verification of the above. Thanks for any consideration...Lawrence Paros (who never met a word he didn't like)

Bawdy Talk
Here you can share your knowledge of Bawdy with others. Send us your favorite phrases and expressions...

aaaahhhh, I think I have already heard about this Bawdytalkers group somehow. ;)

Howye fokes

How is things with ye hear? Just popped ta tell ye all that I'm a fierce wordy little Teddy Bear alltagather and I'm currently, at the present time, looken fer a agent fer ta help me sell me wears.

No time waisters please.

Oh yea - while I'm at it, me pal (also a Teddy Bear), Albear Camoo, is looken fer a publisher fer his up and comen novel, "Nothin Between The Covers."

And he don't want no time waisters neither.

Be seein ya

GallantTed

Howye fokes

It's been 5 months since I proffered me services ta ye. Ye must have picked me up rong re me time waisten stripulations.

Anyways, I fergive ye this time but I just want ye ta know that things is reel bad hear and if us Teds and our scribblens don't get a brake soon, meself and MadDogTed have desided that we'll have no chice but ta sell Albear Camoo's fur fer ta make a fur cote from fer ta sell ta some furriner or somethin. Now fer ye - is this what all ye agents really want?

Be seein ya

GT

PS Fur cote fer sale. Apply within. No time waisters please.

Well, this thread's advanced a lot since I left...

:)

I still wish we had a strictly botanical forum along the lines of "Animal Safari," which should be--at least in concept--strictly for animals. Sigh.

Well they were going to have an Avian Forum but it was rejected because...

...it was for the birds?

He's supposed to come back with complaints about you two parroting each other, and literary agents robin the poor writers of their proper rewards, and complaining these are only mynah efforts after all, and then ducking responsibility for the whole thing. Owl long we gonna put up with it? Well, toucan play at that game.

But then he'd either be crowing about his puns or sending us a bill for his efforts which would send me raven mad.

Would that bill have to do with pecking orders?

Did it take a long time to think that one out or did you just wing it?

On a wing and a prayer.

Ted's cock of the yard in this coop.

Howye fokes

10 months has past since me last appeel fer a publisher fer me scribblens and stuff.

Well, since then loads have happened and ya'd never gess what? They're publishen a specal book called "Chicken Soop fer Teds" and I'm goen ta be the editer of it. No codden.

So there - the boot is on the other foot now fer sure.

I, meself is in the driven seet now fer once and I'll announce it now that I'm looken fer stories about Teddy Bears fer me book. Only good and wordy ones will be accepted. And none of yer dolly rubbish either.

So send in yer stories with a ten/twenty/hundrid doller(s) note(s) ta GallantTed Pub lishens, c/o Slashers Bar (and Grill).

And once again may I pint out - no time waisters please.

Be seein ya

GT

Well Gallant Ted,

You adverted, “PS Fur cote fer sale. Apply within. No time waisters please.”

If your are selling a fur coat, then it will never by definition be thread bare, will it? Although for sooth a bear may be bare by consequence.

Is this a thread in which to bare it all? I hope not. But if baudy talk is involved, then you will find me in a techy mood if not a techy one!

Brave Lad

P.S. Are you a fan of the Katzenjammer Kids?

Dear cestx,

I used to walk by a local art shop that featured changing displays by a variety of artists that always had a red neon sign in the window that spelled out 'ART.' I would remark to my mate that, "I don't know what I like, but I know art when I see it!" Sometimes taboo topics appear in veiled form. This can be quite erotic in effect. Why else would there be seven veils in the "Dance of the Seven Veils?"

What follows is not my effort, but a poem that a friend of a friend wrote to commemorate a social occasion. I found it oddly arousing. Since you are an expert on such matters can you tell me if it strikes you as an artfully disguised erotic poem? The format is not exactly the same as in the original due to the limitations on format in this forum. Poems sometimes strongly depend upon format for the full effect and this is one of that sort to some degree. Indentations for instance are lost here so I substituted dashes ('-') for what were spaces in the original.

When Bear Boils Beans For A Blessing
A Commemoration of the Lair Blessing

A twin, named Bear,
--sautéed onions and celery stalk
--simmered carrots and added garlic to the lot.
She sprinkled earth's green aromas,
--coaxed softening lentils,
--uncorked a litre and sedentary was not.

Guests arrived anticipating,
--merry and willing with naive bowls eager.
Her cherub face smiled in greeting,
--"Please step over the ants and then, dear guest, sign my register."
All could see the move-in neatly,
--the Magi especially agreed,
--this lair was Bear's and blessed it sweetly.

Time bubbled the savory slurry suggestive,
--wafting steamy tentacles to near-by nostrils,
--the lentil soup was finally done!
Heads lowered, and a fine grace was said,
Bowls filled again and, yet, again
--as every corner voiced a ubiquitous "yum,"
Guests soon viewed a bare-bottomed pot, asking,
--"into what now does my good bread sop?"

Perplexed were they,
--empty bowl, empty pot.
"Please pass the wine and let us talk."
And, talk they did with celebration and glee
--as the evening darkened
--the verbal veered
--a mystery grew
Was it Tongues, the Vin or Latin mit Jabberwocky?
A caution conceded
--for when Bear boils beans for a Blessing,
--the grape finds glass and bowl promising.
The gig is up,
the mystery answered:
--Bear's soup bares more than beans
--She Spikes The Pot!

Dear Chief One,

What about those of us who would like to break into the public speaking vocation? I lost my fear of public utterance shortly after I ran for public office. Without going into the particulars, I found this context so engaging that I even scheduled a big training session on my birthday and didn't even notice that fact until later.

As for qualifications some people say I have a way with words. My take on this is that they have a way with me!

Expectantly,
BraveLad

Dear Windy,

How do you think that we could achieve that great or little break? Where are all the eager consumers of our verbiage in its various modes for instance? And after they see all the tripe offered up herein why would they even venture to seek the services of any of these naive word children?

In some puzzlement,
BraveLad