Posted By: AdamRCohen
Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest (no fee) - 03/11/15 07:11 PM
This week's AWAD theme of poetic forms relating to light verse coincides with the final month to enter the 14th annual Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest sponsored by Winning Writers. $2,000 in cash prizes will be awarded. There is no fee to enter. Both published and unpublished poems are welcome. The deadline is April 1. Learn more and submit online at https://www.winningwriters.com/wergle
Posted By: Cowboy_Monkey
Re: Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest (no fee) - 04/17/15 03:25 AM
Reckon I'll just practice here... If I was a bit more et-up with the dumbass, I'd enter the Clearing House Sweepstake. Although I have been kinda lucky at the dog races. The secret to winning: betting on the one that just took a dump...lighter, faster and feel like winning the Iditarod. Worse I've ever done was to win beer money. Cheap date and win enough beer...YEAH BABY! BINGO!
So without further ado-do...LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN!
Class began and wouldn't you know,
Little Johnny sat at the end of a row.
Like Michael Myers this kid cannot die,
Here for eternity to make teachers cry.
"IT'S POEM DAY! Miss Killian announced,
She saw in his eyes he was ready to pounce.
"The poem must have in it the word Timbuktu."
In just a few moments he was already through.
Johnny's turn came and he stood before the class,
Miss Killian shuddered, this kid's such an ass.
He gave Teach a wink and began his ditty,
She knew in a heartbeat it wouldn't be pretty.
Me and Tim a-hunting we went,
Met three prostitute in a big ol tent.
Them being three, and us but two,
I bucked one and TIMBUKTU!
Done a few different jobs along the way. High School Chemistry and Physics Teacher was one...Who'd a thunk it... Kids not even on roll showed up. Yep. Never knew what might get blown up or burn really, really hot. Like right through a metal desk.
And not once did any hair or clothes get burnt off that wouldn't grow back, or a few dollars couldn't replace. Always liked brag about this to parents at the beginning of the year. Nothing beats instilling a little confidence from the get-go.
So where in the HELLO are the word-smitty around here? Somebody write me an gall-dern story.