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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
old hand
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OP
old hand
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833 |
A friend just sent me these....good for a groan or a giggle!
For all you lexiophiles:
1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your
count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat
minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd
dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
If you can't see the bright side, polish the dull side.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13
stranger
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stranger
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13 |
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
A chicken crossing the road is a grille burger.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 15
stranger
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stranger
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 15 |
Hey, that's nacho cheese, it's mine!
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261 |
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.and the ones who rebel are insubordinate clauses! Oh yeah, and don't forget... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off! 
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Thanks, mg--these made me laugh out loud.
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