1. Don't abbrev.
2. Check to see if you any words out.
3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
4. About sentence fragments.
5. When dangling, don't use participles.
6. Don't use no double negatives.
7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
8. Just between You and i, case is important.
9. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
10. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.
11. Its important to use apostrophe's right.
12. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
13. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.
14. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized.
15. a sentence should begin with a capital and end with a period
16. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.
17. Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into our language.
18. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
19. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.
20. A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
21. Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it.
22. A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with.
23. Avoid clichés like the plague.


(http://www.funpages.com/goodgrammar/)

LMAO! you're toast when Faldage gets here though, BY!

All across the country, coast to coast

People always say, "What do you like most?"

I don't wanna brag, I don't wanna boast

I always tell 'em, "I like toast."

YEAH TOAST

--Heywood Banks, "Toast"

http://www.comedyhome.com/index.cfm?fa=displayComedian&comedianID=1

Huh? What?

12. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive...

or dangle them dang participles!

You got that, Connie?

The Only WO'N!

Better for who, Juan?

Yeah! Heywood Banks!

I must use this opportunity to highlight one of my favs, Me 'n Annie.

The intro, spoken:

I was talking to this teenage girl
And her friend named Annie
She said, "Mean Annie wanna go to the movies,"
I said, "Annie and me?"
She said, "No, me 'n Annie wanna go to the movies,"
I said, "You mean, 'Annie and I want to go to the movies.'"
She said, "Why would you want to go to the movies with Annie?"

So I wrote this song for her....

And a bit of the song:

Once there was an old man sittin' at the bus stop
Studying the schedule, trying hard to eavesdrop
On some school girls deep in conversation
But what they said nearly sent him to his final destination.

”Mean Annie, mean Annie, gonna axe her mother;
Mean Annie, mean Annie, gonna axe her mom."

*****

Well, his heart went out to this troubled teen
What would make this Annie girl so mean?
And what would drive this desperate debutante to dispatch
Her ever-loving mother with an axe?