Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by St. Peter at the Pearly gates.
"In honor of the season," St. Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven on this holy day."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on and said, "It represents a candle."
"You may pass through," St. Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of car keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
"You may pass through," St. Peter said.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. Saint Peter looked at him and asked, "And what do these symbolize?"
The man replied, "They're Carol's."

G-R-O-A-N-N!

I don't want to hear another word of complaint about Mike Ritz!

another word of complaint

Mike who?

http://wordsmith.org/board/showthreaded.pl?Cat=&Board=announcements&Number=91643

hehe, Fald's puttin' it on...

puttin' it on

If he thinks I'm reading that thang again...

And
http://wordsmith.org/board/showflat.pl?Cat=&Board=wordplay&Number=49663, which has more or less an explanation...

Back in the the Scandinavian days of legend and yore, there came to be known a great navigator and warlord, Tsuwm the Red. One year, as it became time to make the traditional woodland trek to cut the perfect Yule log, storm clouds gathered in the sky. But before Tsuwm the Red and his sons ventured from their hut to search for the log, dark clouds had cast over the sky, and his wife cautioned that perhaps they should postpone their woodland foray till after the storm so they wouldn't get wet in the cold, and risk getting ill for the feast days. Well, Tsuwm looked at his wife with dismissal, citing all his weather-wise years on the sea, and said, "Nonsense, woman...anyone can tell it will be snow, a delightful compliment to our log hunt! The temperature's low, and you can smell the snow in the air! And, besides, look at me...I assure you, Tsuwm the Red knows rain, dear.

(an adaptation of a tsuwm story-pun on Jackie's cited thread!)

How many TEd's did tswum get for his original?

How many do I get for this one?