today's hogwash word is: armil

PM your def'ns to me before Thursday next..

-joe hogmaster

armil...

That little syllable ought to make one little piggy happy and maybe not pout all the way home the way he's been doin' here of late.

armil

Fits the mililtary theme of his newly-dubbed Generalship. Now don't you and Hogwasher go riding off into the sunset on us, General, hear?!

(private to tsuwm) Unlike others who wait until you slip them the submitted definitions of others before they vote, I will submit unto you now. Totally. Completely. In the unabashed admission that you are the alpha hog, the stern master of all that we survey, and we, your subjects, are dirt.

My definition is most forthwith. I hope you won't be displeased.

You, dirty ol' milum, are tsuwm's pet, and you know it. You're not fooling anybody.

Why else would he embed almost your whole name in the to-be-defined rare word?

I'm really surprised tsuwm didn't use the less-than-rare word armilum, but then we already know the definition of that.

Harrumph®!

And, Ms. AnnaS., do you have any idea how long it took me to find the stupid ® symbol so I wouldn't get accused of breaking copyright laws here? I'd say you're just as spoiled of a brat as milum. Well, I guess you'll go off and get all mad at me, but I've got my ukulele here, so I'll play you a chorus of Tiptoe Through the Tuwlips, and that should settle you down.

milum? Nothing settles him down!

Edit: In fact, now that I really think about it, it amazes me milum hasn't changed the spelling of his name to miluwm--appropriate for a tsuwm groupie.

>®<

No, no, no, Dub-Dub...haven't you been paying attention?
All you have to do is add a "y", harrumphy, and it becomes another form and so reassumes public domain.
contrary to what some Faldagians among us claim


As per Mickey Mouse® does not >®< every "mouse".

contrary to what some Faldagians among us claim

Contrary my left patootie! You're racking up a bill that will come due when you least expect it.

And, Ms. AnnaS., do you have any idea how long it took me to find the stupid ® symbol

Ahem. Wouldn't of taken you no time at all if you had yourself a Mac.

.....
I'll play you a chorus of Tiptoe Through the Tuwlips, and that should settle you down.

All seriousness aside, I'm waiting.

Contrary my left patootie! You're racking up a bill that will come due when you least expect it.

Yes, I hear your left patootie is very contrary!

You think his left one's bad! You should take a look at his right one!

Yes, I hear your left patootie is very contrary!

Not from me, you didn't.

^5 WW!

take a look at his right one!

Whadda you know about my right patootie!?

Not from me, you didn't.

Oops! ...see, Faldage, you have to be careful who you share your patooties with.

You started it, Falstaff! JuanO' picked it up, and I just took it to its natural conclusion.

Nuthin' personal or anything.

Well, as long as the story is out, we might as well let folks in on the jingle that seems to follow your reputation around, ol' Faldage ol' pal!

"One patootie,
Two patootie,
Three patootie, four!

Five patootie,
Six patootie,
Seven patootie, MORE!!"

makes me proud to know ya, it does

""Somebody's diggin'my patooties,
Tramplin' on-n my vine!
Got that worried feelin'
Restin on my min'"


Dash it all, old chap - one is terribly short of emoticons hereabouts, isn;t one - what?

did I say Thursday was the deadline? I meant Tuesday. yes, tomorrow, Dec. 17. and yes, I am arbitrarily changing it for reasons that will become abundantly clear. (and will have the added benefit of ending this turkey before Christmas.) so if you've been waffling with your def'n, make it final and get it in now.

yours in arbitrary capriciousness,
hour hogmaster®

In reply to:

---

and yes, I am arbitrarily changing it for reasons that will become abundantly clear.

---

How can you "arbitrarily" change somethig for clear reasons?

I better go look up arbitrary to see whether there's some deep-hidden meaning I didn't know...

I see my understanding of the word arbitrary is based on the "b" definition of #3 in MW:

" b : existing or coming about seemingly at random or by chance or as a capricious and unreasonable act of will"

...and dear tsuwm's use of the word is #1a. Shoulda known.

> so if you've been waffling with your def'n, make it final and get it in now.

Unless, of course, you're someone who almost never manages to come up with a definition, in which case the HM will simply turf yours out of the pool without a speck of ruth.

Now, now, sjm...I think it's time you put this Hogwash® thing into proper perspective. I want you to sit down by a mirror, relax, take a deep breath, look into the mirror and say,

"I'm good enough.

I'm smart enough.

And, doggone it, people like me!"


There, now, don't you feel a lot better?

And, doggone it, people like me!"

I know people like me - we tell ourselves that all the time, I do.

Now, c'mon, sjm...Denial is just a river in Egypt. You can wash this Hog, and you know it! Don't let all those other people who are really yourself fool ya!

'S too late, Juan. I've already built myself an exquisite snit, and I'm going to stay in it. Disqualify my entry will he?! It's all just another piece in the puzzle that is the huge, bottom-dwelling anti-sinistral conspiracy I have to fight against every waking hour. You malagauche bottom-dwellers can play your little LDP games ohne moi, gerade comme usual. Ik soy trop upset para spielen med y'all.

Well, sjm...it's tough to be at the top!...all the way up there in New Zenith! or should that be New Zenithland?

Did I say Thursday was the deadline? I meant Tuesday. yes, tomorrow, Dec. 17. and yes, I am arbitrarily changing it for reasons that will become abundantly clear. ~ tsuwm

Now see what you patootie people have done, you've gone and angered tsuwm. Now I'll have to hurry my definition and although it is correct it won't be as clever and succinct as I am noted to submit.

Thanks-a-lot, you all are really swill (sic) people, and you seem to hold little respect for the institution of Hogwash (R) (est. 1937). If this frolic continues we might as well drop the euphemistic term "Hogwash" and call it "Hog slop" instead.

In reply to:

---

I'll have to hurry my definition and although it is correct it won't be as clever and succinct as I an noted to submit.

---

Should milum ever become succinct, milum will be extinct.

* Rimshot! *

(How's that for being original and succinct?)

The Attack of the Patootie People

Hey, I think I've seen that movie, too!