I heard an advert on the radio, while driving to court this morning, for some kind of shoe insert/foot pad device that is supposed to take twenty years off the purchaser's life. At the end of the ad, the announcer invited listeners to come into the store and consult with the "pedorthist" about getting the right inserts/pads. "Sheesh," I thought to myself, "this company has made up a word from bits of language which refer to feet and bones and joints and made their sales staff sound like brain surgeons.

Not so, Little Beaver! I looked it up. There are such things as pedorthists in the other-than-commercial-make-believe world. A pedorthist is a person who fits, manufactures and/or modifies shoes and other appliances for the feet to address deformations and disabilities. Some of them make shoes; others make "orthotics" which are thingies which fit inside of shoes. Who knew!?

There are even certified pedorthists. Here in the Colonies, it is the Board for Certification in Pedorthics which does it. Up north, it is the College of Pedorthics of Canada.

I am humbled ... and you can't get shoe pads to fix that.

Father Steve, those pedorthists need a new adman.
Most folks just won't buy things that guarantee to take
20 yrs off their lives! Unless they contain lots of nicotine or cholesterol, that is--

Dear Mom ~

How right you are. Not their fault; mine. The "testimonial" on the ad was of a fellow who said he was fifty and felt thirty, now that he had the new thingies in his shoes.

My great grandfather on my mother's side was one of the first orthotists in the country. This is a LONG time ago. He had a small but lucrative practice making corrective devices for a tribe of Indians whose feet tended to be genetically deformed. We have one of the molds he used. Yup, we call it the last of the Mohicans.

.

Lordy, TEd, and there was I wondering where you'd got to lately

I assume you were the sole beneficiary of the will?

Yup, but it was a long time coming. That guy had one foot in the grave for years. Really a deeply religious sort -- very strait-laced, spoke in tongues, and always worrying about saving his sole. And when he got pumped up! Wow. Definitely not a loafer, though stubborn as a mule. Nice guy who would never moc you for your brogan all. He even wrote a book about going around trying to find the best material for his products. Called it Leather Stalking Tales if I recall correctly.

Now, if someone would just tell me where I put my lithium tablets.

Tennis a pretty good number of puns, TEd, and you certainly weren't a sneaker about it, but that's my only naglet...

I'm wading thigh-high in those welly bad puns. Maybe I should complain, but at this pointe(having barely scuffed the surface of the board), I shod tread lightly. A slipper the tongue could sling-back and make me look a heel.


Z-Dub

well, we won't give you the boot, that's for sure!

Another one joins the Evil Crew

You should stiletto pro handle thongs or for sure sandal get kicked in your face. I really liked welly; I thought of wellington and forgot entirely that welly was the kickname. I guess that's what happens when I mock a sinner.

...Most folks just won't buy things that guarantee to take
20 yrs off their lives...
 
... The "testimonial" on the ad was of a fellow who said he was fifty and felt thirty, now that he had the new thingies in his shoes.


Aha! Now I understand! What he meant was "guaranteed to take twenty years off your AGE", not your life...

My error is further evidence that (1) English is not my first language because (2) I have no first language.

P.S. This is my nine hundredth post and, boy, are my posters tired.

Cut your work in to quarters, Pappa S.
Do as they did in 15th to 18th century - when they were tired, they used four posters.

I'm wading thigh-high in those welly bad puns. Maybe I should complain, but at this pointe(having barely scuffed the surface of the board), I shod tread lightly. A slipper the tongue could sling-back and make me look a heel.
Tickled to have you, ZDub; if you want any help, just oxford it.

With this crew the boards keep flip-flopping from serious to silly. I hope no one gets cross training us not to pun.

now we're getting pumped.