A few of us here at work do the New York Times crossword puzzle together on Thursdays (a copy of an old one in our weekly suburban newspaper, anyway). They usually have a theme for the really long phrases in the puzzle. Last week's theme was, "Twice-told Tales" -- the answers were phrases made of 2 pairs of homonyms. For example, one of the clues was: "Boorish boarder regretted scuttlebutt" and the answer was, "Rude roomer rued rumor."

I thought it was fun, so I made some up. Here are the other ones from the puzzle and some I made up. Mine aren't nearly as great and concise as theirs, but I've italicized the part you'd need to translate. Have fun...

From the paper:

*Depressed Dvorak was spendthrift

*Collins’s style permeates estate

*Blockheaded lover has an accident on a rural road

*Merchant recognized animal in the basement

From me:

*Acme Egg Farm Shut Down -- Chickens wafted disgusting odor towards neighboring homes.

* Franchise founder Sanders puts bullets in corn silo exit-slides

*Different groups of vulgar pursers, stewards, yeomen, etc. worked on that particular Carnival route throughout the season.

* Bono’s group says of his pet sheep: she reminds us of a bunch of fungus/alga symbiotic dual-plants

*Homemaker support hotline helps housewives vent: “One wife phoned and talked about her extreme distaste for the ring her husband leaves on his shirt from having a sweaty neck ” says founder.

*Santa was late for the next house on his list because the weird appendages on Johnny’s pet crab really impressed him

* Ms. Wray’s namesakes were victorious in the first stage.

*So as not to blemish his reputation as a great athlete, former Left Fielder Rice de-accentuated his “F” in phys-ed when he posted his freshman year report card on his “Meet the 1974-1989 Redsox” website.

*(there are 2 in this one) Women Trampled at Free-range Zoo! The exclusive group of house cleaners took a picture (causing a certain sound .) What follows is as would be expected: a sound that was audible irritates group of buffalo , stampede ensues.)