As a gay man, I wouldn't personally be offended by the use of the word "queer" in almost any context, particularly if someone knew me well enough that they were aware that I was gay. And overall, I presume people in general don't wish to offend. Only if the tone of the conversation was such that it was obviously used derogatorily, does it become offensive. One more point: the word "Queer" has been adopted by some as an alternative to the awfully pedantic LBGTQ-blahblahblah in literature and reporting. "Queer" has also now been used as a verb, meaning to make a situation queer by being completely out, preventing everyone thinking heteronormatively, e.g. I may actually have a husband, not a wife.