Because, m'dear, some 2,000 years ago those pesky Romans decided that one Jackie Fulner, unpredictably bred out of the chaos that would follow the collapse of the empire, and living in a non-existent city in an unknown land, would be PISSED OFF AT THEM!

And the Romans liked barbarians to be pissed off at them. It gave the legions something to do besides overthrowing emperors. So it's all your fault, and don't you dare try to say other, my girl!

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The idiot also known as Capfka ...