from the back of the room:

Objection, Your Honor! I know a little sometin' about billiards, and while it has a bit of determinism about it, I wouldn't go callin' it strictly deterministic (ever tried to predict reactions to English on the cue ball?) - not like, say, your computer is deterministic.

Oh,
Ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here in River City.
Why sure I'm a billiard player,
Certainly mighty proud I say
I'm always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend
With a cue in my hand are golden.
Help you cultivate horse sense
And a cool head and a keen eye.
Never take and try to give
An iron-clad leave to yourself
From a three-reail billiard shot?
But just as I say,
It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to score
In a balkline game,
I say that any boob kin take
And shove a ball in a pocket.


..and call it Culture.