Howye fokes! How is things? I’ll tell ye, all us poor Teds is tryen ta do is ta heel the world by keepen the greenhouse gasses down and if them cows won’t make any admissions fer their emmissions all I can do is keep exploiten them fer the dang dung flingers what they are. As fer the abuse what they’re hurlen at a poor innocint Teds just take a look at the letter below. MadDogTed is haven nonea it fer sure.

Hay Ted

You good for nothing flea bag. Who do you effin think you are writen that load of bullocks about how the cattle community is responsible for global warming? And what’s the big effin idea about insulting my girls, especially poor Harriet who wrote to you in an effort to defend our kin and kine? My girls are so upset at your attitude that many of them are refusing to eat, scared in case the world will abruptly end as soon as they put the next scrap in to their gobs. But worst of effin all, many of them are refusing me my conjugal rights, scared to bring any more destructive calves into the world. And where does that leave me, Teddyboy? Bull effin idle – that’s where.

I’ve been looking forward to a roll in the hay with Harriet Heffer for weeks now and I’m warning you, Buster, if you don’t apologise at once I’d advise you to dust down your togs cos you’ll be going swimming in the slurry pit very soon.

Signed: Billy Big Ones


hay urself dilly dig 1s

us tebs gnow where u f n liv
& if u bon’t shut da f up
we will senb da doys round 4 2 have ur f n hed on a plate
& all ur f n gnobbly dits 2 doot
so enuff a ur f n guff dig doy
unless ur tinken a shortnen ur name 2 just dilly

b f n c n u l8r g8r

sined mabbogtebby X

Last edited by GallantTed; 02/22/07 02:41 AM.