Howye fokes! How is things? Moneywise, last week was a bitta a disaster fer us Teds, fer sure. Firsta all, after a all time high, the sales a our home-grown mushroom** soup went on a right downer. Then seconda all MadDogTed’s attimpt at a bank-job went pear-shaped after he discovered that he’d put his hoodie on back ta front.

Well, lookily fer us didn’t we see a add on the internet offeren us a course in how ta get rich fierce quick. The classes is run by the world renouned onterpineer, Mrs Trudy Loff and she sent us a reel nice personal email tellen us that a cute buncha tallented onterpineeren Teds like us could call her Tru. We was right chuffed, I’ll tell ya, and being a biteen shorta cash, we had ta go ta Mr Slasher fer a loan fer ta sign up ta Tru’s course, cos these thing don’t come cheep, ya know.

Mr Slasher looked a biteen dubious fer sure and told us that he’d hearda manys the poor crature what ended up ruffen it in the workhouse after signen up fer the very same course. One guy was advised ta purchase a pile a land fer ta make a football pitch outa. He borrowed up ta his eyeballs only ta discover that the land was riddled with moles and it were too bumpy fer anyone ta play on. Then there was the woman what was advised ta spealise in luxury desserts, and paid through the nose fer a secret recipe fer custard but, alas, it always came out lumpy no matter what she did. And then there was Mr Slasher’s very own cousin, Mildred, what spent a arm and a leg on anti-cellulite cream what only made the problem worse and was sued ta the oxters by her angry clientelle.

Which only goes ta prove ta ye fokes - the course a Tru Loff never did run smooth.

Be seein ya

GallantTed

(**The sale a magic mushrooms was banned last week in Ireland)

Last edited by GallantTed; 02/05/06 09:14 PM.