In a bad mood, I wrote my IP provider to tell them their DSL service was horrible and that they were probably guilty of misleading advertising and ending with a paraphrase of Miller's Giles Corey, "A fart on all of you."*

And, what do you know, my service has improved. (Of course, now I've jinxed it).

*The original is "A fart on Thomas Putnam," case y-all don't remember ;)