Wordsmith.org: the magic of words

Wordsmith Talk

About Us | What's New | Search | Site Map | Contact Us  

Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
OP Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
I'm not given to wearing tee-shirts with catchy slogans, but I will wear the two my mom sent me recently.

a) "Never judge a book by its movie"

and

2) New Yorker cartoon of a guy talking to the cashier at a bookstore: "This is my first book. But if I like it, I may buy another in the near future."

Have y'all seen any good ones lately?


Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
I'm on a DRINKING team
with a bowling problem


Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819
A
Pooh-Bah
Offline
Pooh-Bah
A
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819
It used to be considered witty by some who had old, run-down cars to have a bumper sticker that read "My other car is a Porsche." After those had been around for quite some time, I got a big laugh when I saw a bumper sticker on a particularly rusty-looking bucket of bolts that read "My other car is a piece of s**t too."


Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
M
old hand
Offline
old hand
M
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
I once saw a bumper sticker on some flash car (sorry, don't remember what it was - I'm a girly girl in that respect!) that said, "My other car is a Volkswagen Beetle." Wow. A custom-made bumper sticker...!

Fave bumper sticker I've heard about, but not seen:

Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards while wearing high heels

Fave t-shirt I saw in a catalogue once:

wysiwyg

And fave recently-acquired t-shirt:

YOU DON'T KNOW ME
Federal Witness Protection Program

Most appropriate bumper sticker, seen on a car that had slewed across the sidewalk and hit a telephone pole:

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Bumper stickers I wish I had:

If you're rich, I'm single

and

So many men, so few who can afford me

(and surprisingly enough, they don't really reflect my attitude! but I just find them a hoot...anyway, I wouldn't put a bumper sticker on my baby - I like a pristine car. But I like reading them on other people's cars! Wonder who on earth first came up with the idea of the bumper sticker?)


Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
just saw a bumper sticker yesterday that was a new one to me:

Marijuana: Hey, at least it's better than crack.





formerly known as etaoin...
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,624
Pooh-Bah
Offline
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,624
My favourite T-shirt which has now gone to that great big rag-bag in the sky, had a picture of two vultures on a tree branch under a blazing sun. One is saying to the other: "Patience my ass. I'm gunna KILL something!"

My favourite bumper sticker is on 'er indoors' office wall: "Jesus is coming. Look busy!"

- Pfranz

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526
veteran
Offline
veteran
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526


Not recent, but used to own
top front: CHILKOOT CHARLIE'S
bottom front: A Rustic Alaskan Saloon
back: We cheat the other guy .... and pass the savings on to you!


And of course the bumper sticker I like most is "You! Outta the gene pool!"


k



Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,692
D
dxb Offline
Pooh-Bah
Offline
Pooh-Bah
D
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,692
A card stuck on an office door:

PLEASE GO AWAY




Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
R
addict
Offline
addict
R
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
Bikers have a good sense of humour. Two I've seen recently:

1. (Pink t-shirt): Help me! I'm a lesbian trapped inside this big, fat hairy biker!

2. (On the back): If you can read this then the bitch fell off


Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 171
J
member
Offline
member
J
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 171
I suspect there's enough variety in this list to offend most everyone:

BUMPER STICKERS
1. Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

2. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings."

3. The proctologist called, they found your head.

4. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

5. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

6. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

7. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

8. Hang up and drive.

9. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

10. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

11. Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself.

12. Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

13. Guys, just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

14. Welcome to America...Now speak English.




Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 171
J
member
Offline
member
J
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 171
And, just in case not everyone was offended, a few more:

1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3. If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9. Thank You For Pot Smoking
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11. If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

14. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

23. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

24. The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

26. Illiterate? Write For Help
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

28. Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles from The Next Exit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen upside down on a jeep]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70 mph.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

44. Ax Me About Ebonics
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

46. Boldly Going Nowhere
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
47. Cat: The Other White Meat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

49. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

50. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

53. If You! Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

55. Saw It ... Wanted It .. Had A Fit ... GotIt!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

56. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

58. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

59. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder



Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189

Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
W
wow Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
W
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun!
-------------------------------------
If it's Tourist Season, how come we can't shoot them?



Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
"previously, on AWAD..."

Living here at a shore resort with a 3 1/2 mile boardwalk crammed with T-shirt shops I could fill a whole page. I've just about seen them all, from blue to cute, but sometimes a new slogan jumps out at you. This one turned my head and gave me a good chuckle last year as I walked down the "boards"...never saw it before or since, not even in any of the shops:

NO MAAM

National
Organization of
Men
Against
Amazonian
Masterhood





Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
M
old hand
Offline
old hand
M
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
Here's a picture of me wearing my favorite T-shirt. I wear it (kinda like a joke) to lawn parties and social gatherings around Alabama.

http://boatertalk.com/forum/BoaterTalk/325368


Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 742
S
sjm Offline
old hand
Offline
old hand
S
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 742
>never saw it before or since, not even in any of the shops:

NO MAAM



Proof positive that you never watched Married With Children




Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
old hand
Offline
old hand
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
Have you seen:

Menopausal - Stay Back!

and something I saw only once (no wonder)--

Colostomy is my bag.


Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261
B
enthusiast
Offline
enthusiast
B
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261
I've often found postcards to be good for this kinda thing -here are a few I saw the other day or have stuck to my door:

Nice Person, Wrong Planet

I'm not wierd... I'm just special

Please leave this planet as you would wish to find it

(with a picture of a dog on the front) At least my dog looks at me when I speak to him...

Bankers are people who lend you an umbrella when the sun is shining and then want it back when it starts to rain.

And a personal favorite:
Nothing right in left brain. Nothing left in my right brain.


Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
I have a T shirt with a picture of the Venus of Willendorf

http://art.wlu.edu/venus of willendorf.jpg

and the legend: Must Be Venus Envy


Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
If it's Tourist Season, how come we can't shoot them?

Ya mean we can't? ...oops!




Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261
B
enthusiast
Offline
enthusiast
B
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261
Ooh! And not forgetting...
If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off
and
Stop the world - I want to get ON!

#94043 02/12/03 09:07 PM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
OP Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
http://art.wlu.edu/venus of willendorf.jpg

Missing Page
The Page You Requested Does Not Exist



#94044 02/12/03 09:23 PM
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Missing Page

I still get it but let's try:
http://witcombe.sbc.edu/willendorf/images/willendorfa.jpg


Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Hey, Faldage! (and other baseball fans) Look at this! :

http://www.krazyshirts.com/anbudselcont.html


Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Then there's the one I had made. On the front it says:

Rule#2 When the umpire is wrong see rule#1

On the back it says:

Rule#1 The umpire is always right


Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
saw a great one yesterday:

Well-behaved women never make history



formerly known as etaoin...
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 866
old hand
Offline
old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 866
I'm into the old Ford vs GM thing - but here in Oz it's Ford vs Holden - same same.

I'm sure these are applicable world wide, just substitute two locally produced marques.

I'd rather push my Holden than drive a Ford

On a perfect day all you can hear is the sound of Fords rusting away


stales


Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 475
D
addict
Offline
addict
D
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 475
My partner has a t-shirt which he wears just to upset lefty right on guardianistas ( most of our friends ) with the legend 'disabled is the new black'. I have a t-shirt to go with it which saves me dull conversations at parties with 'I can't believe he's not better' in place of the 'I can't believe it's not butter' logo.


Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
M
old hand
Offline
old hand
M
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
dody's back! dody's back! HURRAH!

good to see you posting again dody baby! love the t-shirts....


#94051 02/20/03 01:25 PM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Dody, it's nice to see you again. But I have to say that a good bit of your post made no sense to me. I did find a clue as to what a "guardianista" is, and to my dismay, what I suspected turned out to be true.
http://www.fuzzclog.com/
I had not heard of this publication--is it a magazine?--before joining this board. And indeed, when my beloved shanks wrote of the Grauniad, I thought it was an odd name, but took him at his word.
I still have no idea what 'the new black' means.


#94052 02/20/03 01:42 PM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
OP Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Jackie, the Brits can tell you better than I, but.
The Guardian is an independent-thinking progressive newspaper which I like a lot. Now what's a Fuzzclog?

And by "the new black," I think what's meant is the new group to discriminate against. Not that you asked me, but did that ever stop me?




#94053 02/20/03 04:14 PM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
No, I don't mind, Anna--sponge-like, I soak up info. from all sources. Here's the explanation their site gives:
What does the word 'Fuzzclog' mean?

Dictionary definition - "a profound philosophical statement ."


What is the purpose of Fuzzclog?

Fuzzclog is a non-profit organisation. The main aim of the website is to give students (and desirable others) the opportunity to have their work viewed across the entire world.


Who runs Fuzzclog?

Fuzzclog is run by a group of media art students studying at Southampton Institute in the UK.





Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
old hand
Offline
old hand
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.


#94055 02/20/03 09:04 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
I was once tasked with naming and shirt design for our softball team; we became None of the Above, which was most apt as we traditionally finished last but none. long after I (was) retired from the team, I was given a 20th Anniversary shirt, the name has ever held.


#94056 02/21/03 03:02 AM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
M
old hand
Offline
old hand
M
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
A friend was telling me, just last night, about a colleague of his whose name is Les. Apparently Les got asked to do an awful lot of work and is always being put on jobs others won't do, etc., until he decided his personal slogan should be, "We Do More With Les!"

(well, I liked it!)


#94057 02/21/03 01:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 475
D
addict
Offline
addict
D
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 475
So, some explanation is needed. The Guardian is a daily newspaper on the left of the political spectrum. It is renowned for it's appalling spelling and is often referred to as the Grauniad. It is a broadsheet rather than a tabloid, although it usually has two tabloid supplements which feed every intellectuals secret desire to look at Kylies bottom. This link gives a brief history of the paper. http://www.guardian.co.uk/Print/0,3858,4428358,00.html To access the online paper click on this http://www.guardian.co.uk The cryptic crossword is great, Auracaria may just be a genius.
The new black is a fashion term which now describes every thing new in terms of previously fashionable things. So, Britney is the new Tiffany, grey is the new black and so on. Just google say, grey is the new black, it's terrifyingly ubiquitous. There is an occasional column in the Private Eye devoted to this disease. The new black could also be taken to mean what Ana said.
'I can't believe it's not butter' is a margarine with a stupid name.


#94058 02/21/03 02:18 PM
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
'I can't believe it's not butter' is a margarine with a stupid name.

I've always referred to it as "I can't believe you think it's butter."


#94059 02/21/03 04:46 PM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
old hand
Offline
old hand
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
'I can't believe it's not butter' is a margarine with a stupid name.

I've always referred to it as "I can't believe you think it's butter."

Faldage - is that from your "olio" of pet peeves?


#94060 02/21/03 05:28 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
another thread turned to food...

anyone know where I can find a good belt?



formerly known as etaoin...
#94061 02/22/03 11:36 AM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
I have a bottle of very good 12 year old Bunnahabhain. If you can tell me how to pronounce it, you can have a good belt of it. not!

Ænigma suggests bunnies.




#94062 02/22/03 05:07 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
M
old hand
Offline
old hand
M
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
Dear ol' Aenigma....God bless her and all who sail in her!

(sorry, can't seem to make the a-e thingy - how does one do this on the keyboard?! tried alt-a but got this instead: å - and alt-shift-a got Å - what the hell does that mean?!)

I'm guessing....Bunnahavahn. (just based on how Siobhan is pronounced, mind you)


#94063 02/24/03 03:41 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 3,065
B
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
B
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 3,065
It means alt gives you the small letter and alt-shift gives you the big letter.

Bingley


Bingley
#94064 02/24/03 12:56 PM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
alt gives you the small letter and alt-shift gives you the big letter.
Really? I didn't know that. Kewl.
On my computer, mg, I can press Alt then 145 on the keypad over to the right, and get æ. Alt 146 gives Æ. Alt 142 gives Ä, and Alt 132 gives ä.



#94065 02/24/03 02:02 PM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
R
Pooh-Bah
Offline
Pooh-Bah
R
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
å - and alt-shift-a got Å - what the hell does that mean?!

It's used in Scandinavian languages, m-g, - and is pronounced as a long-drawn-out "O" sound - more like "oawww". In Copenhagen the sound is fairly clipped (although all Copenhagen Danish is pretty clipped, come to think of it) but on the mainland, in Jutland, it is really long-drawn; most of the very little Danish that I can pronounce was learned in Århus, in Jutland and my Copenhagen friends laughed fit to bust when I used the words over there - they immediately recognised it as Jutland pronunciation! (Apparently this has comic overtones, there.)

And if you want to know the key-strokes for all the strange symbols, go to "Character Map" (somewhere in "Accesories" usually, on M$ run PCs), which gives you the whole riange in all the fonts. Click on any of them, and a "key-stroke guide" appears down in the bottom right-hand corner.
E.g., Alt 0197 gives you Å in Times New Roman (and most other fonts!)


#94066 02/25/03 02:12 AM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
M
old hand
Offline
old hand
M
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
Thanks everyone, but I think I need help from Faldage....I'm on a Mac, and I refuse to allow Microsoft any disk space.

So if I hold down the alt key and type 145, all I get is...145.

Damn and blast. I figgered out most of the accents I need for le français, but many others elude me (unless I stumble upon them by åccident....!).


#94067 02/25/03 03:15 AM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
modgod, are you running OS9 or OSX? if you're still on 9, go to http://www.versiontracker.com and search for "Font Explorer". it's a great little free program that will show you where all the keys are.
if you're using OSX, you've got the character palette which will show you more than you ever wanted to know!!

oh, and try putting a &# before the number and a ; after, and see what happens... &#<some number here>;



formerly known as etaoin...
#94068 02/25/03 11:15 AM
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Option a = å

Option A = Å

Option ' = æ

Option " = Æ




Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
old hand
Offline
old hand
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that cannot be repeated . . . but this one can:

My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.

Probably the funniest I ever saw was on a pick-up truck driven by two men wearing cowboy hats (I live in rural Oregon) -- and the bumper sticker said:
If you ain't a Cowboy, you ain't sh*t!

I pointed it out to my husband and asked, "Doesn't that mean that if I remove the double negative a cowboy is a piece of sh*t?" We laughed for days.


Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
My favorite T-shirt saying is
"I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on"
I like wearing it when I go someplace where "the guys" don't think I know what's going on, but I know I do.


Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526
veteran
Offline
veteran
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526


"SUPPORT BACTERIA! It's the only culture most people have."

k



Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
R
Pooh-Bah
Offline
Pooh-Bah
R
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Over here, a popular bumper sticker of some years ago was, "Don't follow me - I'm lost, too."


Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
R
addict
Offline
addict
R
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
A friend of mine had a similar one on his car - "If I follow you home will you keep me?".


Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
R
addict
Offline
addict
R
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
Okay, not really a bumper sticker or a t-shirt but here's another I heard today....

Whispering is not aloud...


#94075 02/27/03 02:26 AM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
M
old hand
Offline
old hand
M
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
thanks etaoin, thanks Faldage! (eta, I'm running OS 8.6)

lookit dis: æ and Æ

Hurrah!

Now I can talk about Ænigma with y'all! and about anything else that has an æ in it....Kewl.


#94076 02/27/03 02:39 AM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Harumph to all you Brit-speakers: it's Enigma. Plain old E. No leaning A. <eg>


#94077 02/27/03 11:18 AM
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
But, Jackie. Ænigma is just so much more je ne sais quoi! It fits her better.

Besides, if you feed Ænigma Enigma she buys it; if you feed her Ænigma she spits back [nihilism].


#94078 02/27/03 11:32 AM
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
R
addict
Offline
addict
R
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
S'il vous plait, Qu'est-ce que c'est le Francais pour "je ne sais quoi"?


#94079 02/27/03 11:40 AM
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
le Francais pour "je ne sais quoi"

Non scio quem


#94080 02/27/03 11:40 AM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Qu'est-ce que c'est le Francais pour "je ne sais quoi"?

I don't know, what?



formerly known as etaoin...
#94081 02/27/03 11:42 AM
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
We'd a done that better the other way round, Cyg. Gotta work on the timing.


#94082 02/27/03 11:45 AM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
yeah, 14 seconds. I'm only half-way through my first cup o' coffee.
I'll do better next time.



formerly known as etaoin...
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
R
member
Offline
member
R
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
T-shirt seen on a member of a Bomb Squad:

IF YOU SEE ME
RUNNING,
TRY TO KEEP UP


#94084 03/02/03 05:12 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
M
old hand
Offline
old hand
M
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
S'il vous plait, Qu'est-ce que c'est le Francais pour "je ne sais quoi"?

Reminds me of a very funny exchange in Marianne Ackerman's play, L'Affaire Tartuffe, or The Garrison Officers Rehearse Moliere. There the garrison officers are, rehearsing Moliere, and I believe they had to have a soldier stand in for one of the officers who couldn't be there (not positive that was the situation, it's been awhile since I saw the play!).

One officer reads his line and the soldier reads his response:

Soldier: Qwoy?
Officer: (correcting the soldier) Qwoh.
Soldier: What?!

Hm. Maybe it's funnier live....I still love it - an exchange that consists of the same word repeated three times with different nuances and in two different languages...!


Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
R
Pooh-Bah
Offline
Pooh-Bah
R
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
IF YOU SEE ME
RUNNING,
TRY TO KEEP UP

Sounds sound advice to me, Ruby

- and welcome aBoard and welcome to the trio of Rhubarb, Rubrick and Ruby.

This is goin' to get confoosin', I can see - Rube Ruby and Rhuby


Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
ah, there's the rub



formerly known as etaoin...
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
R
member
Offline
member
R
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
LOL, etaion! One can never resist a good pun, eh?

Oh, dear, Rhuby......I would have never registered as
Ruby, had I known there were two others! I am actually
known as JFN on another site I frequent, so I could
re-register as that. I was just getting kind of tired of it,
and chose RubyRed for this site, because Rubye is
my grandmother's name, and rubies are my birthstone.

I guess I could become RR......but then that makes me
sound like a Railroad, or like Rest and Relaxation, or like
Ronald Reagan..........hmmmm, such a conundrum!

Thanks for the welcome, btw! :)




Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Don't worry about it, Ruby. Rubrick doesn't take kindly to being shortened (!), in my opinion, and as to Rhuby--well, I started that as a play on gender, so I suppose he could be switched to Barbie, and that would accomplish the same purpose. <Evil Grin>
And no, don't become RR, for the reasons you stated. I suppose you could be called Grapefruit...

#94089 03/04/03 02:08 PM
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Or we could call her "Slippers"...("there's no place like home, there's no place like home...") Or Dorothy.

Welcome, RubyRed


#94090 03/04/03 09:17 PM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
"What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about?"


Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
old hand
Offline
old hand
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
A humorous bumpersticker/tee shirt slogan seen:

Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.

sounds like something translated from Latin, eh?


#94092 03/05/03 10:02 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
R
member
Offline
member
R
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
"I suppose you could be called Grapefruit..."

"Or we could call her "Slippers"...Or Dorothy."

LOL! Well (it has to be said) I've been called worse!

Thanks for the welcome, Jackie and Whitman! :)



#94093 03/05/03 10:08 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
R
member
Offline
member
R
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
I LOVE this one, consuelo! I saw it a couple of years ago, in a souvenier shop, and I wanted to buy it soooo bad....but they only had it in size Cute (teen size)


#94094 03/05/03 10:21 AM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,692
D
dxb Offline
Pooh-Bah
Offline
Pooh-Bah
D
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,692
Well...the ruby gemstone is a corundum. So Cora would be possible or, if you want to keep a hint of red, Coral.

But why bother!? "We ken fine who you are," Tom said knowingly .


#94095 03/05/03 12:26 PM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
"Ken we?", she said, begging the question.


#94096 03/05/03 12:46 PM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,692
D
dxb Offline
Pooh-Bah
Offline
Pooh-Bah
D
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,692
"Aye, wee lassie, ye're richt, we ken verra leetle when a's sayed'n done," he said Pictishly.

I must stop this before I grow a pibroch on my sporran.


#94097 03/05/03 01:24 PM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
R
member
Offline
member
R
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
Good Gracious! There is no end to the magic of the English language!


#94098 03/05/03 01:54 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,210
no end to the magic of the English language

that was English?



formerly known as etaoin...
#94099 03/05/03 02:00 PM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
R
member
Offline
member
R
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
LOL, etaoin....I was actually referring to dxb's Cora/Coral/corundum post, but I forgot to c&p. :)


Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
This was a controversial T-shirt which appeared in our boardwalk T-shirt shops a few years back. many folks thought it was over the line of decency, but a lot of others thought it was just clever and cute. But next to some of the tees they have hanging on the front of those shops this seemed pretty tame to me. Anyway, after a couple of years of bantering back and forth in the local press the shop owners pulled it by choice. It's a take-off of the Trix cereal ad with the picture of the rabbit holding a carrot:

Silly Rabbit!
Dix are for Chix!


Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
old hand
Offline
old hand
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
Here's another tee shirt slogan:

"If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy."


Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
M
old hand
Offline
old hand
M
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
If we are what we eat

which reminds me of a stoopid but fun Austin Powers pick-up line: "If we are what we eat, I could be you by morning...."

I also like these ones:

"Nice legs - what time do they open?"

and

"I'm a birdwatcher and I'm looking for a Big-Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?"

and finally

"Do you work at the Post Office, because I thought I saw you checking out my package...."

Not that I would necessarily fall for a guy who used any of these seriously, but.


Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
R
member
Offline
member
R
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 104
>"Nice legs - what time do they open?"<

Oh, mY! That is funnY!


#94104 03/28/03 03:20 AM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."

"I am not a complete idiot. Some of my pieces are missing."


Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
old hand
Offline
old hand
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
This thread is getting kind of long, but . . .

I saw one today that was worth sharing:

Let an electrician check your shorts.


Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526
veteran
Offline
veteran
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526

Reminds me of one that was common to the EEs back in engineering school

"Engineers do it with greater frequency and less resistance."

k



Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,624
Pooh-Bah
Offline
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,624
OHMy!


Page 1 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Moderated by  Jackie 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Statistics
Forums16
Topics13,912
Posts229,283
Members9,179
Most Online3,341
Dec 9th, 2011
Newest Members
TRIALNERRA, befuddledmind, KILL_YOUR_SUV, Heather_Turey, Standy
9,179 Registered Users
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 444 guests, and 3 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Top Posters(30 Days)
Top Posters
wwh 13,858
Faldage 13,803
Jackie 11,613
tsuwm 10,542
wofahulicodoc 10,510
LukeJavan8 9,916
AnnaStrophic 6,511
Wordwind 6,296
of troy 5,400
Disclaimer: Wordsmith.org is not responsible for views expressed on this site. Use of this forum is at your own risk and liability - you agree to hold Wordsmith.org and its associates harmless as a condition of using it.

Home | Today's Word | Yesterday's Word | Subscribe | FAQ | Archives | Search | Feedback
Wordsmith Talk | Wordsmith Chat

© 1994-2024 Wordsmith

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5