Wordsmith.org: the magic of words

Wordsmith Talk

About Us | What's New | Search | Site Map | Contact Us  

Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
M
old hand
OP Offline
old hand
M
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
A friend just sent me these....good for a groan or a giggle!

For all you lexiophiles:

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your
count that votes.

6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat
minor.

11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

26. When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd

dye.

27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

If you can't see the bright side, polish the dull side.

Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13
T
stranger
Offline
stranger
T
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 13
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
A chicken crossing the road is a grille burger.




Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 15
L
stranger
Offline
stranger
L
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 15
Hey, that's nacho cheese, it's mine!


Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261
B
enthusiast
Offline
enthusiast
B
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 261
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
and the ones who rebel are insubordinate clauses!
Oh yeah, and don't forget... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!


Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
Offline
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Thanks, mg--these made me laugh out loud.



Moderated by  Jackie 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Statistics
Forums16
Topics13,912
Posts229,283
Members9,179
Most Online3,341
Dec 9th, 2011
Newest Members
TRIALNERRA, befuddledmind, KILL_YOUR_SUV, Heather_Turey, Standy
9,179 Registered Users
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 444 guests, and 3 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Top Posters(30 Days)
Top Posters
wwh 13,858
Faldage 13,803
Jackie 11,613
tsuwm 10,542
wofahulicodoc 10,510
LukeJavan8 9,916
AnnaStrophic 6,511
Wordwind 6,296
of troy 5,400
Disclaimer: Wordsmith.org is not responsible for views expressed on this site. Use of this forum is at your own risk and liability - you agree to hold Wordsmith.org and its associates harmless as a condition of using it.

Home | Today's Word | Yesterday's Word | Subscribe | FAQ | Archives | Search | Feedback
Wordsmith Talk | Wordsmith Chat

© 1994-2024 Wordsmith

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5