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Previous Thread Next Thread Print Thread Page 1 of 10 1 2 3 … 9 10 Directions #6905 09/25/00 02:30 PM Joined: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,757 M maverick OP Carpal Tunnel OP maverick Carpal Tunnel M Joined: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,757 My Dad and I share a slightly wacky sense of humour (just as well we don't often need it at the same time ) - and a frequent source of amusement has been found on instruction sheets on modern products. For example, I love the brusque independence of pill bottles which command you to Line up the arrows and push off And surely this is general wisdom which we ignore at our peril? - Keep away from small children What are the examples others have encountered? Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: Directions #6906 09/25/00 03:11 PM Joined: Aug 2000 Posts: 2,204 R RhubarbCommando Pooh-Bah RhubarbCommando Pooh-Bah R Joined: Aug 2000 Posts: 2,204 Tear along the dotted line has always conjured the vision of small insects practising for sprint races along the tops of corn-flakes packets. There are also plenty of other salutary warnings about children - Beware. children at play has a decidedly ominous note. Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: Directions #6907 09/25/00 07:03 PM Joined: Mar 2000 Posts: 218 Mountain West, USA B Brandon enthusiast Brandon enthusiast B Joined: Mar 2000 Posts: 218 Mountain West, USA Beware. children at play has a decidedly ominous note. The lack of punctuation on signs enables the "children at Play" warning to take an even more ominous turn when it is "Slow Children at Play." Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: Directions #6908 09/25/00 08:01 PM Joined: Mar 2000 Posts: 6,511 lower upstate New York AnnaStrophic Carpal Tunnel AnnaStrophic Carpal Tunnel Joined: Mar 2000 Posts: 6,511 lower upstate New York I've always been fond of Curb Your Dog and Soft Shoulder , as well as the afore- and elsewhere-mentioned Mind Your Head. Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: Directions #6909 09/25/00 08:31 PM Joined: Sep 2000 Posts: 347 Melbourne, Australia M Marty enthusiast Marty enthusiast M Joined: Sep 2000 Posts: 347 Melbourne, Australia Continuing the road theme, the highway sign "CYCLISTS USE LEFT SHOULDER" has been confounding riders of deadly treadlies here for some time. Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: Directions #6910 09/25/00 08:36 PM Joined: Sep 2000 Posts: 347 Melbourne, Australia M Marty enthusiast Marty enthusiast M Joined: Sep 2000 Posts: 347 Melbourne, Australia and a frequent source of amusement has been found on instruction sheets on modern products. Instructions translated from another language have traditionally been a great source of these, although I think they've lifted their game a tad. Somewhere I have (or had) a long list of them. Only one springs to mind immediately: Product not to be used outside or inside. Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: Directions #6911 09/26/00 12:05 AM Joined: Mar 2000 Posts: 6,511 lower upstate New York AnnaStrophic Carpal Tunnel AnnaStrophic Carpal Tunnel Joined: Mar 2000 Posts: 6,511 lower upstate New York Way off-topic, but Marty reminds me of one of my favorite things: funny translations. Here's one web site: http://anotherlanguage.com/funny.htm Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: Directions #6912 09/26/00 12:44 PM Joined: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,757 M maverick OP Carpal Tunnel OP maverick Carpal Tunnel M Joined: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,757 Ha!- some lovely ones, thanks! I came across a drink container recently that admonished me to Stand upright in a cool place which seems to confirm a similar view: Do not stand in direct sunlight My dad reminds me of the instruction which made him think of Jonah and the whale: If accidentally swallowed, consult a doctor Fair enough - sounds good advice (is there a sturgeon in the house?) Concerning swallowing, I like the beer bottle that comands: Remove cap before swallowing - how do they know what I'm wearing! On the general 'road' theme I have seen Joe's Body Works which must be reassuring! And the local UK roadworks sign (which-may-not-translate-if-you-are-reading-this-in-a-country-without-glass-reflectors-in-the-roads) which offered the rather cruella Cats' Eyes Removed But the animals get their own back: I have seen a sign on a gate warning visitors: Dog Loose Inside! Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: translations #6913 09/26/00 02:41 PM Joined: Apr 2000 Posts: 10,542 this too shall pass tsuwm Carpal Tunnel tsuwm Carpal Tunnel Joined: Apr 2000 Posts: 10,542 this too shall pass Clive (from Oz) reminds all of the sign in the Budapest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable." Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: Directions #6914 09/26/00 03:16 PM Joined: Mar 2000 Posts: 11,613 Louisville, Kentucky Jackie Carpal Tunnel Jackie Carpal Tunnel Joined: Mar 2000 Posts: 11,613 Louisville, Kentucky (is there a sturgeon in the house?) Concerning swallowing, I like the beer bottle that comands: Remove cap before swallowing - how do they know what I'm wearing! I love it, mav! Esp. the sturgeon! Re: the cap--I thought maybe that meant to remove the cap so you don't swallow the bottle along with the cap! ;-) -------------------------------------------------------- A bit off-topic (or maybe a bit-off topic!) is the billboard I saw some time ago, advertising the Dip & Drip Pool Company. Odd names those owners have. Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Page 1 of 10 1 2 3 … 9 10 Moderated by  Jackie  Hop To General Topics ------  Information and announcements  Q&A about words  Wordplay and fun  Words and languages in schools  Miscellany  Weekly Themes  Looking for (writers, speakers,... (Old) Weekly themes. 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