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Here in the US, we are being treated to a lot of "feature" coverage of Australia in the run-up to the Olympics. I'm wondering how much we will be able to learn of the local lingo via television coverage.
I, for one, was chagrined to learn that Australians do NOT say "shrimp on the barbie," an illusion long cherished by many of us Sydneyoutsiders. One TV program interviewed a famous Sydney chef (his name is now long gone from short-term memory) who gently reminded the interviewer that Aussies don't say "shrimp," they say "prawn." He then proceeded to throw prawn on the barbie and serve it with a lovely Thai-inspired sauce.


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i thought a shrimp was a small prawn.

the ocker image of australians has a lot to do with monty python and an ongoing english unease with the former colony.
another myth is the day/die thing. australians say "day" in comparison to the amercian/british "deh" (exaggeration).

still, if we didn't have stereotypes, who would we laugh at?


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william, I dunno! Are you originally from Oz? Here in the US (of A) 'shrimp' pretty much covers the entire crustacean phylum (subphylum? *throwing up hands*).

And what is "ocker"?


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>what is ocker?

AS, I LIU here... I won't ruin it for you!

http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Plains/9740/slang3.html#O


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AS, I LIU here... I won't ruin it for you!

Yob is as yob does. & thanks


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annastrophic, you could be right. i seem to remember shrimps being smaller than prawns and lobsters larger.
that was in my childhood in melbourne (yes, i am australian). and yes, my memory isn't as good as it should be!
maybe other australians can help out here.





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I've always said prawns for everything, small prawns for small ones all the way up to tiger prawns. I seem to remember my aunt calling the small ones shrimps, so that might have been common. Prawn cocktails always seem to have very small prawns, so I suspect we in Britain stopped calling them shrimps at some stage.

I now shop at Costco, and I looked today - there seems to be a real mixture, according to country of origin/intended market, very little to do with size.


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ocker = yobbish. - I really don't think that that captures the subtlety of the word; its really more unconsciously yobbish - a bit like hillbilly, if you like. I think yobbish has more pejorative and consciously uncouth connotations.
Also, the glossary of Oz expressions to which Tsuwm linked has to be viewed a little circumspectly - as with all guides to "argot", it's probably out of date as soon as it's written. A fair few of the expressions are also very ocker themselves!!!


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another myth is the day/die thing. australians say "day" in comparison to the amercian/british

Perhaps, but what about the way you Australians say "i"? Shall we launch launch the great Trans-Tasman "Seednee/Sudnee" debate?


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johnjohn, this is precisely why I am happy to have the opportunity to watch/listen to Australians on these TV programs. Yob, schmob. I imagine y'all have much more access to American television than we do to Oz programming. So I will enjoy what I can find.


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One of my holiday jobs was stacking supermarket shelves, and I seem to remember being told then there was a legal difference under consumer protection. Above a certain number to the pint? gallon? they were prawns, and below that they were shrimps. It made sense to me, or why is "shrimp" used as an insult for the smaller amongst us? You can't imagine a lager lout yelling "hey prawn" rather than "hey shrimp" can you?



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The Olympic ceremony is just starting - we're promised plenty of seafood!


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...and I clicked on this thread thinking it would be the perfect place to report on a piece of Olympic commentary:

'the team must be jubilating'

Aargh!


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To utter sounds of joy or exultation; to make demonstrations of joy; to rejoice, exult. In recent newspaper use, sometimes, To celebrate a jubilee or other joyful occasion.
a1641 Bp. R. Montagu Acts & Mon. Such as Almighty God did+replenish+could not but jubilate. 1659 Hammond On Ps. lxxxiv. 3 To cry aloud, vociferate or jubilate. 1721 R. Keith tr. à Kempis' Vall. Lilies xxvii. O ye Cherubim and Seraphim+how fervently, and how excellently do ye sing and jubilate aloud before God. 1837 Carlyle Fr. Rev. I. v. i, Hope, jubilating, cries aloud that it will prove a miraculous Brazen Serpent in the Wilderness. 1851 S. Judd Margaret iii. The birds are jubilating in the woods.
[OED]

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It's a bit like "How to lie with Statistics" - it seems to be possible that any word we look at had a previous life, so you can always argue on favour of almost any word on those grounds. All you need is a big enough dictionary!

Who ever says jubilating these days. Surely it comes from the grand tradition of Colemanballs - I believe that Dan Quayle has a similar reputation in America.

Here's a selecton (some from the Private Eye website - they offer £10 for any you send in):

'There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class'
(David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics)[I think that this is the original Colemanball]

'And for those of you who watched the last programme (Fanny and Johnny Craddock), I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's' (David Coleman at the start of Match of The Day)

'To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.'
(Ruud Gullit)

"Sometimes in football you have to score goals."
THIERRY HENRY, Sky Sports
(Roger Main)

"Quinn, for the umpteenth time, got his first goal of the current campaign."
BRIAN MOORE, BBC Match of the Day
(Ian Walton)

"Michael Vaughan has a long history in the game ahead of him."
MARK NICHOLAS, Channel 4
(Anna Lomax)

"The Germans only have one player under twenty-two and he's twenty-three."
KEVIN KEEGAN, BBC News
(Steve Speight)

For more - check out this site:
http://www.siliconglen.com/jokes/colemanballs.html

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You missed my all-time favourite - I am now jubilating(!) at the chance to add it:

'The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey.'


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Bridget

Well spotted - what an omission!


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football... and cricket...? here come some baseball quotes from Yogi Berra:

"It ain't over till it's over."

"This is like deja vu all over again."

"You can observe a lot just by watchin'."

on seeing a Steve McQueen movie: - "He must have made that before he died"

"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

"Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical"

Mrs. Lindsay - "You certainly look cool." - Yogi Berra - "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself."

"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."

Interviewer - "Why, you're a fatalist !" - Yogi Berra - "You mean I save postage stamps ?
Not me."

"Slump ? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hittin."

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it!"


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'The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey.'

Now who's dwelling in the gutter??


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>'The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey.'

Now who's dwelling in the gutter??<

Just visiting, Jackie! Some of my dearest friends live there...




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Ah, punctuation! Maybe I really meant 'Just visiting Jackie'...


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Perhaps Bridget and Jackie -- our two ladies of the street (grin) -- will be interested in another meaning of 'gutter': the space in front of a racecourse totalisator (from Baker: The drum [Australian character and slang]).






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Oh, I can't stand it! Ow, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard!!!

First--Bridget, I don't recall issuing an invitation to my abode, but let me do so belatedly: you, and all, are welcome at any time. I'll save some of my best
garbage just for you!

Now--paulb, living in the city that is the home of the most
famous racetrack in the world, I am very much at home in that gutter as well! I went there all the time in my childhood with my dad. Placed my first bet at 15--the
clerk didn't even look up.


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Colemanballs reminds me of buckyballs--neat invention, even neater word!!


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There's an old story from bureaucracy about a senior officer who, after reading a report, sent it to his superior with the word 'balls' written on it. The superior was not amused and reprimanded his junior.

Soon afterwards, he sent a similar report to his superior with the words 'round objects' written on it. It was returned to him promptly with the note: "Who is Round and to what does he object?"




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Yob, schmob

No, I can't allow this to go unchallenged

OK, so it is the quasi-Yiddish habit to use "schm-" in front of any word to make a point, but the WHOLE point of "yob" is that it is cockney back-slang and is only comprehensible if you read it backwards - i.e, "boy." So what sort of a word is "bomhcs", already?

The fact that the back-slang word has been taken over and its meaning perverted by the unwitting makes little difference to me - back-slang HAS to be comprehensible when re-inverted, else there is no point to its use.

So take the occab out of your epip and put in the above and ekoms that !!!


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take the occab out of your epip and put in the above and ekoms that !!!

"?Siht si gnirts hcihw - trpos ,yad'G"


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?Siht si gnirts hcihw - trpos ,yad'G"

I submit that this is a perfectly proper string for my short course in Cockney Back-slang - (which you have not quite managed, although you are working on the right lines.)

The distinctive Australian accent is derived, at least partly, from exactly the same source as is the accent of the East End of London (the only area that can truly be called Cockney: it does NOT really apply to all residents of that great city.)
East London was populated mainly by internal immigration from Essex, Suffolk and, to a lesser extent, Norfolk, (the area generally is aka "East Anglia) and the disctinctive Cockney "twang" is an adaptation of the East Anglian accent.
During the upheavals of the Nineteenth century in England, there was, from time to time, much unemployment and social distress in East Anglia (and indeed, many other places.) One remedy was for philanthropists, churches (espec. Non-conformist ones) Trades Unions and other organisations to sponsor emigration to the Colonies. The colony most favoured by East Anglia was Australia and very large numbers of immigrants came from that part of England, bringing their distinctive "twang" with them, of course.
So Cockney and Austrlain have a lot in common, as far as their linguistic roots are concerned.

Therefore, lessons in Cockney vocabulary and usage, I submit, are not out of place in this string.

Maverick, your bit of back slang should more properly be transcribed thus:
"Yadggee, torps -which ingstree is this?"

Not all words inverted - mainly nouns and verbs, and word order maintained. It is the sounds that are inverted and corrupted/adapted for greater euphony.

But as a first attempt it shows sympathy for the genre - C+



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There's nothing uniquely Australian about the usage (as far as I know), but several times during the Olympic coverage I've heard "medal" used as a verb. "The Americans are going to medal in this race". I was expecting some sort of interference to occur.

Is this horrible development a recent one? What's next?

Venus Williams cups at Wimbledon? (Now there's a novel thought!)
Tiger Woods trophies again? (Whilst the rest of the field atrophies?)


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I don't know how many of you noticed, mainly because a lot of you aren't from the US, but one of NBC's recent "Olympic Moments" was about Australian vs. American English. The host of the show basically had big cards with an Aussie term on one side and the American counterpart on the other and he went around Sydney asking what they meant. I found it rather amusing because it's one of the frequent topics of conversation here, but I can't say that I really learned much because I wasn't paying too close attention.


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Thanks, J. That's why I started this thread. I wanted to learn more Oz terms. I'm sorry I missed the "Olympics Moments" program. Surely there's a web site


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Yob, schmob

No, I can't allow this to go unchallenged

Oh, I was just extrapolating. Diversity and all that. BTW, we may be YARTing here.


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YARTing, schmarting.


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can't allow this to go unchallenged

I was just extrapolating etc.

Au contraire thank you for the challenge and the opportunity to demonstrate my knowledge of yet another foreign language.


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sympathy for the genre - C+

Gee, thanks, Miss! To suggest a simile, I feel like a fish savaged by a bicycle!

But backslang and Oz... hhm, I await the paper with interest (online I hope), perhaps with the title The Meta-language of London and Melbourne?

In deference to those whose specialist area this might be, I would still like to suggest that Robert Hughes' book gives a fairer picture of the real roots of Australian life and therefore language (full details at foot of this message). He deals with the forcible transportation of convicts on which the initial colonies were founded, before the kind of philanthropically-minded assisted emigration got started which J mentions.

The seeds of Australian transportation were sown in the fertile ground of rapid social upheaval in Britain, with three factors prominent. Firstly America, until then a repository of England’s unwilling exports at the rate of 40,000 people a year, ceased to be available from the time of the revolution (thus a by-product of the American revolution became the founding of Australia!). Secondly between 1801 and 1840 the population of England virtually doubled – an unmanageable explosion against a background of labour displacement and agricultural disasters. Workers “were pincered between falling wages and rising prices… runaway unemployment and the inexorable spread of enclosure” of common grazing lands (Robert Hughes). Thirdly, England had no penitentiary system (William Penn’s ideas took some time to trickle back to the brutal mother country), and her creaking and often arbitrary system of ‘justice’ was threatening to collapse under the weight of these social pressures. A brief enumeration of transported numbers, decade by decade, gives this picture:
1787-1810 11,800 (men and women)
1811-1820 164,00
1821-1830 32,800
1831-1840 51,200 (1840 ended transportation to NSW, with the last transport ship to Western Australia arriving in January 1868)

It is notable that the decade of most vigorous recourse to transportation fell exactly when England’s population was rising at the most rapid rate.

“The stereotype insists that the human fodder of transportation sprang from the root of British decency, the innocent starving yeomen in the British village” (Hughes). The actual truth was otherwise, showing the majority of the transportees were town dwellers.

LL Robson’s statistical analysis in his survey of 1965 examined a random sample of 1 in 20 names in the public record office in London, finding the following categories of crime amongst those transported:
34% larceny
15% burglary
13% stealing domestic fowl etc
6% stealing clothing
3% offences against the person
2% coining or counterfeiting
1.5% treason, conspiracy, union organization etc (includes Ch-yartists?)

70% were tried in England, mainly in 6 county assizes: Lancashire (aye, there was trouble at t’mill), Yorkshire, Warwickshire, Surrey, Gloucestershire and Kent – these areas were home to 4 in 10 transportees. 20% of transportees came from Ireland, mostly tried in Dublin. It would therefore seem more likely that the single most dominant linguistic influence might come from the Irish contingent, rather than back-slanging Cockneys.

However, there is an urban slang that definitely did get exported. 60% of the English transportees had previous criminal convictions. Hughes suggests that “although we cannot speak of a criminal class with the same confidence as early Victorians did, there certainly was a subculture of crime in the British Isles… (which) expressed itself in common interests, cant language, specialization…” Some of the specialised trade terms he mentions (quoting Henry Mayhew’s contemporary reports) are as follows:
‘Snoozers’ Sleepers at stations decamping with others’ luggage
‘Sawney-hunters’ Purloiners of bacon from shop windows
‘Dead Lurkers’ Stealers of coats and umbrellas from passages at dusk
‘Skinners’ Women who enticed sailors and children to go with them and then stripped them of their clothes
‘Kitten Hunters’ Stealers of pewter pots left drying on railings
‘Bulker’ Runner of interference for a sneak thief
‘Pradnapper’ Horse thief
‘Buffer’ Dog-killer who sold their pelts to glovers

Other wonderful phrases reported include ‘rum daddles’ for expert pickpocket hands, ‘buzz-gloaks’ for a pickpocket, a ‘fam lay’ for palming of a stolen ring, and the squire of the tribe whose ‘means are two pops and a galloper’ – a mounted highwayman with two pistols!

I have no information on whether this language survived in any shape or form in Australian life; my preconception would be that it would be consciously rejected by the second generation, the so-called ‘Currency’ or native-born white Australians.

In the latter half of the 19th century there were of course massive and very rapid changes in Australian population. With colonies established on every seaboard, the gold rush of the 1850s drew in a new influx of people from all over the world. The 1871 census showed the following demographic changes over the preceding 20 years:
New South Wales 197,000 - 500,000
Victoria 77,000 - 730,000
South Australia 67,000 - 189,000
Queensland 30,000 - 122,000
Western Australia 6,000 - 25,000

- so maybe the cant elements of language would have been simply swamped by dilution as well. I would be interested to hear of any known Oz etymology deriving from cant sources – anyone care to shed some light or point to where to LIU?

To conclude, I would heartily recommend Hughes’ remarkable volume, wherever in the world you live or whatever your interests. It is a powerful story of a unique episode in human affairs. The facts and figures I have abstracted here do no trace of justice to the tale he weaves, with great insight and humour. The Washington Post describes it as “popular history in the best sense… commanding prose” and the Australian Sunday Telegraph suggests it is “becoming the standard opus on the convict years”. Enjoy.

Title: The Fatal Shore
Author: Robert Hughes
Publisher: Pan Paperbacks (Macmillan General Books)
Publication: 1988
ISBN: 0 330 29892 5



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I feel like a fish savaged by a bicycle

No savagery intended I was poking fun at my own didacticism, if anything.
( twice, today, I have typed "fun" as "fum": is my keyboard trying to tell me something?)

Thanks for the useful rundown on Oz emmigration, and especially for the reference. I will read that with great interest. Thanks


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< New South Wales 197,000 - 500,000
Victoria 77,000 - 730,000
South Australia 67,000 - 189,000
Queensland 30,000 - 122,000
Western Australia 6,000 - 25,000>

Thanks, Maverick, for these figures. What happened to Tasmania? We haven't seceded yet, but those mainlanders (ie the rest of Australia) are forever leaving us off maps and other representations of Australia. I couldn't see an appropriate descriptive word amongst the 'Dead lurkers' and 'Pradnappers' which might describe their 'forgetfulness', but we're working on it -- we're a feisty lot down here!


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What happened to Tasmania?

I suspect you're right, paulb. Tasmania doesn't get the attention, in many ways, that is deserved. However, you'll be pleased to know RH does it proud, and the particularly complex relationship that emerged between London/Hobart/NSW is explored carefully and with a subtle intelligence. It was certainly an eye-opener for me.


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oops!
Sorry, left the light switch on


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<<I have no information on whether this language survived in any shape or form in Australian life; >>
I must say I recognise none of these phrases at all, nor any contemporary slang deriving from them. I suspect you're right that subsequent generations quite consciously rejected them.


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I recognise none of these phrases...

Thanks jj - which tends to confirm the sample of Oztymology I've sampled from my Melbourne cousins, most of which I can nearly understand

Does anyone have a clue where to find out more about Oz language and influences on the net?


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>Does anyone have a clue where to find out more about Oz language and influences on the net?<

At the risk of being confused with tsuwm, might I suggest typing 'Australian slang' into google.com? That's what I did. A great many pages came up. I had a look at a few on the first page and thought the first was the most impressive:

http://www.koalanet.com/australian-slang.html

One of the things I like about this is that it says it is trying to include only specifically Australian slang. (It doesn't succeeed, but it tries!) I can't count how many times I've had proud Australian quote Aussie rhyming slang at me, all unaware that in the UK we use the same phrase and call it Cockney rhyming slang.

Of course, a site that tries to exclude shared British / Australian slang may not be the best for some poor North Americans who haven't been exposed to enough external influences, but hey, can't please all the people all the time.



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Thanks Bridget - perfect start.

(What tsuwm neglects to mention is that the Great God LIU demands 24 hour service... )


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>At the risk of being confused with tsuwm...

oh, you're *much more photogenic!


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Bridget, that's a great site, especially for those of us who know little Australian slang outside of "G'Day, mate". I was rather surprised to find that "bastard" is a term of endearment.


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I was rather surprised to find that "bastard" is a term of endearment.

Fair suck of the sav, Jazzo, mate! I don't reckon that definition's ridgy-didge. A bloke'd wanna be pretty careful who he calls a bastard or he's likely to get in a blue and come a gutser.

On a slightly more serious note, the meaning of the word differs from one extreme to the other, depending on context, intonation and level of acquaintance between the two parties, eg:
"Listen here, you bastard" used in the middle of a heated argument, compared to
"How're you going, you old bastard?" used as a greeting to an old friend.

Hooroo,
Marty


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surprised to find that "bastard" is a term of endearment.

It is so not only in Australia. To some extent - and under similar conditions to those described by Marty - it is in use in UK as well. Even when not used as a positive term of endearment, it is frequently used here in a non-perjorative way as an alternative term for "person."


#6573 10/01/00 06:18 PM
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jmh Offline
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To Bridget and other Sydney and Australian taxpayers

Just thought I'd say thanks for a wonderful Olympics. I watched the closing ceremony this morning and realised how much you guys spent on the whole thing (I hope all the sponsorship worked out OK) - I loved the fireworks - quite spectacular and was glad to see prawns made it onto the track.

We all loved Cathy Freeman's wonderful win in the 400m and our 11 gold medals were 10 more than we managed in Atlanta!

Ta


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>Here in the US, we are being treated to a lot of "feature" coverage of Australia in the run-up to the Olympics.

While this is a little off topic, I was a bit surprised to read that prostitution is legal in Sydney if not throughout the rest of Australia. Someone sent me a list of humorous ad slogans for these Sydney brothels, presented in its entirety below.


The Top 13 Advertising Slogans for Australian Brothels


[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]


13> Catch Olympic Fever -- And Hepatitis!

12> The Best Down Under Down Under!

11> Just Do Us

10> Performance Enhancing Drugs Welcome

9> The Most Fun You Can Have in the Bush!

8> You're already halfway around the world -- let us finish
the job.

7> Didgeri-Do Me!

6> Ready for a REAL Floor Exercise?

5> Don't worry about using protection -- dingos eat all
of our babies!

4> Throw Another Barbie on Your shrimp!

3> G'd Lay, Mate!

2> Serious Yahoo!


and Topfive.com's Number 1 Advertising
Slogan for Australian Brothels...


1> You've got the Joey. We've got the pouches.




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excellent!! Hooorah for the gutter


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Hooorah for the gutter

Biog alert! Can't find Hooorah


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Biog alert! Can't find Hooorah

You won't find her. She rarely emerges from the gutter for long enough to write a biog. She is often to be found with her friend Henry.


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often to be found with her friend Henry

Lovely! Can anyone refresh my memory of an old comic monologue about a drunk falling in the gutter with a sleeping pig, that ended something like this:

"You can tell a man who boozes
By the company he chooses"
And with that the pig got up and slowly walked away!



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I was going to copy and paste, but with three versions (only one of which I recognise) and other pieces besides, I thought you might prefer the whole page...

http://www.geocities.com/TheTropics/Shores/7484/q-misc1.htm


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>prostitution is legal in Sydney if not throughout the rest of Australia<

according to the papers here, they had to ship prostitutes in from 'as far away as Perth' to satisfy Olympian demand.

BTW, those of us not Australian but paying Australian taxes to support Australian gold medals at $40m a pop are delighted that the (first batch of) Olympics are over and that 'News and Sport' is no longer tautologous....

(It's not that I hate the great God Sport, but I prefer a pantheon to monotheism...)


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the whole page...

Thanks Bridget - what a treasure trove of porcine pleasures!
Which reminds me of a feeble attempt to eat in vegetarian mode only - tis always the smell of crisping bacon that undoes:

To err is human; to rasher, divine!


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>You can tell a man who boozes
By the company he chooses

Which reminds me of, for some strange reason:
It wasn't the cough that carried him off
but the coffin they carried him off in


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struth, stone the bloody crows, no self respecting ocker would ever throw a shrimp on the barbie. he might chuck a prawn on and down a few cold tinnies with his mates but calling prawns shrimp is like calling egg and bacon pie quiche, definetly not kosher over here.


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>calling egg and bacon pie quiche

As in "real men don't eat ..."?


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>>You can tell a man who boozes
By the company he chooses

Which reminds me of, for some strange reason:
It wasn't the cough that carried him off
but the coffin they carried him off in<


...Jo, are we in a loop? Didn't I post that cough thing somethread else recently? (or maybe I just thought I did...)


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real men don't eat

... they only fad away?

G'day, lapsus. (HAH - got there first, Jackie )

By the way, is 46 married male:
a. I'm 46, married, male
b. I have been marrried 46 times, still male
c. I'm 46, and married to a male
d. I've been married 46 times to a male?
I know you do things differently down under, so do tell!


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HAH - got there first, Jackie

No, you didn't, Honey! Go figure!


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Go figure!

Yep, I'll take my hat off to Mr B. I hadn't seen that post, then, though


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Yep, I'll take my hat off to Mr B. I hadn't seen that post, then, though

I hadn't, either. I meant me. Go figure. (Hah yourself!)


#6590 10/06/00 12:48 PM
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can't find Hooorah

I was just depleting the o-zone


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egg and bacon pie quiche, definetly not kosher over here.


So, why should it be kosher over there? it isn't kosher any where else, already.


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>Didn't I post that cough thing somethread else recently?

Yes Bridget, you are quite right I've just searched and found it in Q&A under "Death Obessesed" , worryingly, only late last month. Which probably accounts for my comment "for some strange reason". I remember it as an old Morecambe and Wise joke and it must have been whizzing round my head since you reminded me of it. Perhaps I can lay it to rest now, reassured that it has not been forgotten by the world!


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>'News and Sport' is no longer tautologous....

I think we've been quite lucky here. We just had the news when we woke up, then an early evening 7-8pm programme which covered the main highlights. Showing our gold medal win usually takes up about ten minutes of the Olympics, so it was quite good this year to be able to fill up around an hour of airtime! I can imagine what it must have been like day in, day out.

By the way, I met a man who told us that his brother was in charge of getting the Olympic flame up to the top of the stadium (here's a comment for the boys - he needed a quick trip to the underwear shop afterwards), apparently the reason it didn't work was that so many people "phoned home" on their mobiles, just as the torch was lit, that the radio wave activity interrupted the signal to the torch mechanism and they had to physically move the whole thing on to manual overdrive. ... That was his story, anyway....

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>I was going to copy and paste, but with three versions (only one of which I recognise) and other pieces besides, I thought you might prefer the whole page...

Reminds me of the story of the fellow who came home a bit tipsy. OK, not a bit tipsy, a whole LOT tipsy. He staggered into the barn and very carefully took off all his clothes before lying down in the sty with the huge sow. A couple of minutes later, he hiccups and says, "Maw, we've been married nigh onto 26 years now, and this is the first time I ever noticed you had two rows of buttons on your nightgown."



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>according to the papers here, they had to ship prostitutes in from 'as far away as Perth'

Can't get much farther, can you??

Who wath holding the Perth thrings?




TEd
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