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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
T-SHIRT SLOGANS Jackie! Skip #45
1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
2) I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9) Earth.... is the insane asylum for the universe.
10) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
13) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
14) I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather...
not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
15) God must love stupid people, he made so many of them.
16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
19) Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
20) Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
21) Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!
22) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Butt Heads!
23) (seen on an 8-year old)"That's It! I'm Calling Nana!"
24) "Wrinkled was Not one of the things I Wanted to be When I grew up"
25) "Procrastinate..... Now!"
26) "Rehab Is for Quitters"
27) "My Dog.... Can Lick Anyone"
28) "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?
29) (On a baby-size shirt)"Party - My Crib - Two A.M."
30) "Finally 21, and Legally Able to do Everything I've been doing since I was 15"
31) "Arkansas: One Million People and 15 last names"
32) "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software."
33) "I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN"
34) "A hangover is the wrath of grapes"
35) "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance"
36) "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"
37) "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music"
38) "They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken"
39) "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead"
40) "Time is fun when you're having flies"...Kermit the Frog
41) "POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN ....
.......Cops have nothing to go on."
42) "FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once."
43) "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH"
44) "HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig."
45) "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years."
46) "The trouble with life is there's no background music."
47) "The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson."
48) "MOP AND GLOW - The Floor Wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team."
49) "NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room
spinning-medicine."
50) "My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
.....He thought he was God and I didn't!
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old hand
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old hand
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Can't sleep, clowns will eat me.
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Posts: 328
enthusiast
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enthusiast
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I don't look busy because I did it right the first time.
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Posts: 1,526
veteran
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veteran
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Posts: 1,526 |
There's a bar in Alaska that sells these:
On the front: "Chilkoot Charlies: A Rustic Alaskan Saloon"
On the back: "We cheat the OTHER guy ... and pass the saving on to you!"
When I was working with a group of guys to install networking for a conference, we all got black Ts
One the front above pocket: "Your name here" (literally) and our company logo.
On the back: "Smoke and Mirrors: Working with YOU ... doing it OUR way!"
Here's a proposal from a guy nicked Darth Mole I met on the net maybe 20 years ago:
"Support Bacteria: It's the only culture most people have!"
k
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 322
enthusiast
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enthusiast
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my chiropractor sells t-shirts that say "I'm well-adjusted!"
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
addict
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addict
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Seen on a girl: You're a bad boy now go to my room
Seen on a holiday to Scotland: If I had another half I'd be a wit
Seen on a Japanese girl: Why don't you grab a big one?
Seen on a big hairy biker: Help me! I'm a lesbian trapped inside the body of this big hairy biker!
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
"I have two good reasons for wearing a T-shirt"
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661 |
Seen on a well endowed female:
"I wish these were brains"
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 3,146 |
Two vultures sitting in a tree on the savannah: "Patience my ass. I'm gunna kill somethin'!"
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 2,605 |
My Kid Went to College
(and all I've got left is this lousy T-shirt!)
[how true, how true -e]
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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On the back of a t-shirt wearin Harley rider:
If you can read this the b**ch fell off.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 322
enthusiast
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enthusiast
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Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 3,146 |
Politically Erect
Positively Clintonian, Anna. Speaking of which, Monica Lewinsky was just on TV tonight spilling her guts. Fame of a kind, I guess, but I could do without it!
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Posts: 688
addict
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addict
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"I'm with stupid"
or
"Stupid's Partner"
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Posts: 96
journeyman
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journeyman
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Posts: 96 |
BETTY FORD CLINIC
the Duncster
the Duncster
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Positively Clintonian, Anna. Speaking of which, Monica Lewinsky was just on TV tonight spilling her guts. Fame of a kind, I guess, but I could do without it!
Then you can probably also do without your antipodean colleague's Fox Network's "Battle of the Bad Girls," which pits Amy "Long Island Lolita" Fisher against Tonya "kneecapper" Harding in a mud battle of wills. [glad we don't have a TV]
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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With a tie-in back to Clinton, Fisher has backed out or been ousted, not sure which, and I really do NOT care, and has been repliec by (you won;t believe this!) Paula Jones.
The latter is worried about her nose. If I had a schnozz like that I'd be worried too. If I had a reputation like either one of them I'd be hiding under a rock.
TEd
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872 |
Paula Jones: ...If I had a schnozz like that I'd be worried too. If I had a reputation like either one of them I'd be hiding under a rock.
Well now, Mister Remington, would you mind telling the good people of the jury what Misses 'Big Nose' Jones did that you find so foul? Me and the jury seem to have forgotten.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 6,511 |
illustrated by a circle dance around Stonehenge.
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Posts: 544
addict
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addict
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I saw a young Goth type here in Berkeley wearing a black T-shrit that said "I'm only wearing black until they come up with something darker."
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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>Well now, Mister Remington, would you mind telling the good people of the jury what Misses 'Big Nose' Jones did that you find so foul? Me and the jury seem to have forgotten.
Doesn't surprise me. One bright sunny day in Little Rock this woman no one had ever heard of or cared about came forth and said she was bringing up the matter of an alleged sexual harassment on the part of Bill Clinton. When asked why she was doing it now, she replied that she wanted to clear her name.
Of course, the only reason anyone knew of her was because of this press conference she and her lawyers called, and if she had kept her mouth shut then as she alleged she kept her mouth shut earlier there wouldn't have been anything in the press about her.
The reality is that Clinton's political opponents in Arkansas encouraged, perhaps even paid her to come forth with her story to embarass Clinton.
NOTE FOR THE RECORD: I am not defending Clinton in any way. His interpersonal relationships are beneath contempt. It is, in my view, safe to say that Paula Jones sought her 15 minutes of fame at the cost of her own reputation. No one else smeared her, she did.
TEd
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,981 |
Two of my (blonde) friend's favourites:
(i) With stick picture of woman on top of mountain:
"Woman with Altitude"
(i) "Please speak slowly, natural blonde"
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addict
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addict
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51% Angel 49% B*tch Don't push it! 
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Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Living here at a shore resort with a 3 1/2 mile boardwalk crammed with T-shirt shops I could fill a whole page. I've just about seen them all, from blue to cute, but sometimes a new slogan jumps out at you. This one turned my head and gave me a good chuckle last year as I walked down the "boards"...never saw it before or since, not even in any of the shops:
NO MAAM
National
Organization of
Men
Against
Amazonian
Masterhood
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 5,400 |
favorite t shirt?
Black, with a patch that looks like one of the Hello, My name is stickers ..
and in the blank white space for the name..written in red lipstick, Queen of the Fucking Universe.
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journeyman
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journeyman
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That one gets my vote OT LOL!!!!!!!
the Duncster
the Duncster
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Queen of the Fucking Universe
Talk about double entendres...
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Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Queen of the Fucking Universe
Talk about double entendres...
Reminds me of a nubile young lady many years ago, who bragged that when she had been told, "Take off your fuckin' clothes," she had replied, "These aren't my fuckin' clothes."
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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DNA is life
Everything else is just details
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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And DNA would be Dining, Napping, and Aspirating?
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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In faldage's case, that is ...  In my case, more like Do Not Awaken.
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Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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And DNA would be Dining, Napping, and Aspirating?
No
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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My reaction (I hereby I submit it) Is, "Come on now, faldage, admit it: CP was funny And cleverly punny, So don't be so humorless-git it?"
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Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Has anybody ever had any custom-made T-shirt slogans? Once when we we're in New Orleans for Mardis Gras, we all had T-shirts made up that said, "Just glad to be here!" And it became the catch-phrase for that party!  Also, when I was a young rebel, I had a T-shirt made with the John Steinbeck quote from Travels With Charley, "Once A Bum, Always A Bum". I was real proud of that then!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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When we were remodeling my in-laws' house, we had a friend draw up a scuzzy-looking rat in overalls. This went on our t-shirts, along with the legend: "RatCo--we don't care, we don't live here".
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Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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My ex was an Army reservist, and one of her jobs was running the drug detection program for her unit. Main job: conducting urinalysis testing. I got an olive drab t-shirt and put on it "U. S. Army -- Pee All You Can Pee". I'd be willing to bet she still has it after all these years.
TEd
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Posts: 322
enthusiast
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enthusiast
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Max Q wrote: <pathetic confession of excessive fandom> I once had a T-shirt made with the just the top half of the words, "SHARE AND ENJOY" but nobody ever got it. Probably just as wll, really.<\pathetic confession of excessive fandom>
Well, if no one ever got it, I shouldn't feel so stupid. But whose excessive fan are/were you??
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872 |
I'm was hanging around a hotel lobby yesterday when a giant figure of a man with a flowing white beard walked through the door. He was about seven feet tall and looked a little bit like Moses. He should have been wearing a long white flowing robe, but he wasn't. He was wearing a T-shirt.
On the front was printed...ALL IS DNA
He walked pass and the back of his shirt read...
AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS FALDAGE
I think that was a message from God.
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Joined: Dec 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 13,803 |
EVERYTHING ELSE IS FALDAGE
LLOL, milum.
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enthusiast
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enthusiast
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Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 6,511 |
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Hey, Faldage: what were you doing in Alabama?
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 13,803 |
Wadn't me Dr. Bill. My beard don't flow.
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Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 4,189 |
And the Most Original Custom-T Award (so far) goes to TEd (of course) for his one-and-only P-Shirt! Hey, Faldage...Alabamy bound, ay?
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Forums16
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Dec 9th, 2011
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