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Ooo, I am going out of town on Thrusday to sit with a new supplier I found. The V.P. was quite happy to tell me that I would get to meet the President of the company since he would be in town too (the mother-company is based in the far east) BUT, BUT, BUT, the President speaks only Cantonese. He has an interpretor to handle any English/French conversations.
Does anybody have any "make a good impression" pointers to give me.
I know that I must give my business card using both hands, but that is just about it.
I really don't want to put my foot in my mouth or do anything untowards.
I once dealt with a Rabbi in an Ultra-Orthodox Jewish community and little did I know that I was not supposed to shake hands/touch him since I am a woman. He was very insulted when I tried and I was very angry at myself for not having thought to look into the customs before going. Now, I deal with his wife only.
I don't want to repeat that type of faux-pas again but I only have two days to bone up on any important stuff. Can anybody help?
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bow-- you should bow lower than he does..
but not too low... bowing is a sign of respect, and it is a signal to your status. Too low, and you are saying you are not to important!
he might just nod his head, you might just bow your whole head, or maybe even a bit with your shoulders.
watch others, and try to gage-- you shouldn't bow as low as the translater, but you should bow lower than, say your boss.
and think like a catholic school girl, feet flat on the floor, underneath you when you are seated.
in very formal occations, you might be asked is you want some tea, or something to drink. if you decline, your host will ask again, you should not decline more than twice.. (to accept the first time seems greed, to not accept at all, is rude!) but most times, since westerns don't know the fine points of declining, food or beverage is either there (at a place setting) or not served or offered..
and generally, some manner are accepted, even if not the manner of the culture.. (for instance burping at the table is perfectly acceptable for chinese. but if you don't know all the fine points of chinese manners, and don't use chop stick properly, but rather eat with fine western manners; and a knife and fork, don't burp at the table. Burping is not in keeping with western good manners!)
that's all i know..
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Oh thank you! And thanks to Geoff for giving me the idea to ask here with his own thread. When searching the internet I usually flounder around aimlessly (or get gobsmacked  by useless information).
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Hi Bel, Dredging through my brain for cultural stuff from years gone by ... I worked in Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia for 2 years. Singapore is majority Chinese, with a blend of Cantonese, Mandarin and Hokkien speakers. I guess it depends on where your Cantonese guy is from (could be China, Hong Kong, Singapore or New Zealand for that matter. I met a guy in Singapore who was of Cantonese origin (parents) but had the thuckest [sic] Kiwi accent I'd ever heard in my life!! Had only live in S'pore for 6 months and was suffering severe culture shock!) Stories aside, here's my 2c worth: * The "two hands" for business card... good. * Generally speaking, Asian cultures are very quietly spoken. Try not to raise your voice, or get overly excited. * Avoid physical contact, other than regular business practices - shaking hands etc. Touching is a no-no - especially on the head or shoulders. * As far as working with a translator goes, remember to talk to "El presidente" when you are speaking. It's a very easy trap to fall into to speak to the translator, thus leaving your primary contact (and person you most want to impress) feeling like he is a spectator. As of troy mentioned, bowing is good, but don't go over the top. A simple lowering of the head will show enough respect.
Above all, be courteous and aware. The fact that you're willing to find out about these things means that you're already doing both of those things. Realistically, most common courtesies (?) will get you by - especially if you are on your own home turf.
Hope this helps!
Hev
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or get overly excited. Hang on, Bel. I know you can avoid it!  EDIT Buena suerte, querida. I'll be rooting for you and cheering you on.
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bel
A few I've picked up along the way....
* el Presidente may wish to demonstrate his worldliness by using a knife and fork. This has the benefit of taking the pressure off you re chopsticks etc.
* Two mouthfuls in a row, rest the cutlery on your plate, dab your mouth and make conversation - repeat for the course of the meal.
* When the host picks up his napkin the meal has begun. When he puts it on the table the meal is over. Once any napkin is lifted from the table it should not be replaced until the meal is over. It sits on your chair during a comfort break.
* Be careful admiring any personal possessions of el Pres - he is obliged to give them to you. (My wife and I wound up with a beautiful set of crockery at a friend's chinese restaurant this way - having commented how nice the set was, where did they get it etc!) Edit - This could be misintrepeted - we did not set out to acquire the crockery - so we were the ones that were embarassed when it was given to us. We also knew it would be rude to refuse it - aye yi yi!
* Not talking to the translator is an excellent tip. It's the same when giving a presentation - most people talk to the board or the screen - not the audience.
* Chinese smoke like chimneys. If he lights up in front of you it's a sign that he's comfy in your presence! Even worse (IMHO), when really relaxed he will offer you a smoke. Guess what - you've gotta take it!
* I think a small gift reflecting your culture is in order. You may've seen those dolls and pots in people's offices - handed out by Asian visitors. I'm unsure of the etiquette here - who gives first, how enthusiasticly one receives the gift, is it to be wrapped etc. Maybe have one on standby? This is probably best - if you give first and he hasn't got anything to give you he will have lost face - very bad.
Why not give the embassy a call - the cultural attache will let you know the lot in a heartbeat.
Have fun!
stales
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Call the embassy: excellent, Stales!
Query: if the pres. admires something of yours, are you obliged to give it to him?
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* Be careful admiring any personal possessions of el Pres - he is obliged to give them to you.
I don't mean to slight a whole culture, but that's about the stupidest rule I think I've ever heard. That's like giving a spoiled brat everything he wants.
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that's about the stupidest rule I think I've ever heard
I was told, when preparing for a trip to Japan, that Orientals are turned off by ostentatious displays of wealth. Therefore, it follows that if someone you respect expresses interest in something which is yours, that interest is prompted by genuine regard for the object, not by mere acquisitiveness or the vanity of possessing it. To surrender the object willingly is to acknowledge the purity of the admirer's interest while, saying to the admirer at the same time, that you value your relationship with that person more highly than the object of admiration. An admirer who did not comprehend the intrinsic virtue of the admired object, apart from its monetary value, would not find his host so generous.
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i dunno jazzo-- ever hear the idea: the only things you truly own are those which you would gladly give away? all other things own you.
I don't always practice the "giving away" but i did work with a man who used to wear great ties. if any one admired his tie, he would remove it, and give it to them.. He did not expect other to share his values or philosophy, but he was a very happy man.
I had a very pretty scarf that i wore to work one day.. at work, i saw a woman i knew who was wearing a simple dress.. My scarf was the prefect compliment to the dress, she noticed it, and admired it, and ask where i had purchased it, thinking to get one of the same for her self.. I gave her mine.. i still feel great about it!
i know i still am greedy, and self centered and have 1000 other faults.. but practicing random acts of kindness, and senseless acts of beauty, is very good for the soul. you might want to try it some time!
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i found a purse the other day, inside was £200, very handy i thought ( i am totally skint) then i saw a picture of the owner about 15 yrs old and riding a pony, so i just took it straight round her house, where i found her in floods of tears ( it was vacation spending money she had saved from a weekend job) she was delighted to say the least and i felt great, especially as when i was about to leave her father asked me if i liked whiskey "OH YEAH" i said wherupon he gave me a bottle of 16yr old single malt !!!!!!!!!!
I am not a religious man but I do believe in doing the right thing - it makes you feel better it is as simple as that
the Duncster
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Query: if the pres. admires something of yours, are you obliged to give it to him?
It's unlikely that he would verbalise any such admiration - knowing the full meaning of it in his own culture. In my experience Asians are not generally complimentary about "things" (perhaps for this very reason) and are more likely to comment on intangibles eg. "nice view".
Hev
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...that's about the stupidest rule I think I've ever heard. That's like giving a spoiled brat everything he wantsSpoiled brats will quickly have no friends or dinner invitations. ofTroy - Thanks for the wonderful story. About five years ago I started processing the family estate (actually® throwing out garbage and selling "collectibles" accumulated over the last 50 years) My father, who apparently had to have two of everything (I'm not kidding) had postumously made it enjoyable as a couple of years I did just that; all ya had to do was mention that you liked "it", and I'd be glad to give you one of 'em! 
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> that's about the stupidest rule I think I've ever heard..
Jazzo
From a western, materialistic perspective you are correct. However, the beauty of the "rule" is that everybody has to play by it - and have done so for four thousand years. The culture has developed where admiration of another's possessions has a whole different set of meanings and consequences. Hence the "rule" is a powerful social tool - and it costs nothing itself. In particular, it discourages materialism whilst encouraging respect for oneself through less tangible aspects.
stales
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I am going out of town on Thursday ...
Good luck, bel! I've buried a talismanic Loonie under the ice for you.
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Oh, Duncan, good for you! Minor quibble: I would say it's as simple as "because it's the right thing to do", and the fact that it makes you feel good is just a nice side effect.
And yes, bel, belated good wishes for a successful trip.
Hev--thanks.
Helen--could you give some examples of what you mean by "senseless acts of beauty"?
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Oh, c'mon. Someone else here has got to know the story of JFK making some state visit to _____ (Mexico? I don't remember...) - Kennedy said to the [President/PM/Tyrant-in-Residence] "I like your watch." The guy took off his watch and gave it to Kennedy. Later in the same conversation, the other dignitary made some compliment to JFK about Jackie no, not you, J! , whereupon JFK returned the watch. If it's just an urban legend, please don't tell me. It's too funny to not be true.
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It's also true that if the Queen (or King) praises one of your possessions, you're supposed to hand it over. I remember hearing that Queen Victoria abused this custom quite a bit....
A couple of examples of acts of random beauty/kindness: It's cool to pay for the order of the person behind you when you're at a drive-thru window - I used to do this at Tim Horton's on Fridays when I was working - it made MY Timmy's treat that much more of a treat for me and I always enjoyed wondering about the reaction of the person behind me - if my actions had any kind of "pay-it-forward" ripple effect or not. Another pleasing thing to do that is also quite minor, is to give someone something they ask to borrow - with me, this has always been money, to the tune of a quarter for a phone call, or a few coins to make up the right amount for something out of a vending machine, or (on one occasion) $10AUS for a fellow backpacker who discovered all her money had been stolen. I got the idea for this by being on the receiving end at university: I wanted something out of a vending machine but didn't have the right change, and the only person around (it was a weekend) didn't have change for a dollar (back in the days when Canada still had dollar bills!). He asked what I needed the change for, and when I told him, he asked how much I needed, then gave it to me, saying, "No need to pay me back - just, maybe you'll do the same for someone in the future." Now that's what I say to people too - and they seem to like it - it allows them to accept gracefully if otherwise they would feel uncomfortable about it.
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I've spent quite a lot of time in Singapore over the past few years, and I think you'll find that, by and large, they have adopted pretty much the Western business philosophy. When this thread got under way I emailed a couple of Chinese friends in Singapore (one, an elderly and very wealthy chappie who made his money we know not how, and a younger woman who is pretty high up in a large Singaporean company) and asked them about how "Chinese" their business practices are. The gist of the reply was:
* Be polite. That oils the wheels. However, it's no more so or less so than in the Western world.
* Do not offer gifts immediately. Singapore is hot against bribery and corruption. The exchange of small gifts is fine, although not mandatory.
* Culturally people are still Chinese, but unless they come from outside Singapore, they are a lot more direct and to the point than Chinese culture would suggest.
Having said that lot, though, the Singaporeans apparently do have trouble dealing with Chinese from China because their customs are different, and Singapore is pretty multi-cultural. The Malaysians regard Singapore with a kind of creeping horror - Singaporeans are seen as worldly and avaricious beyond Malaysian belief.
Hev was right - a lot of NZ business people, including Chinese, work quite happily in Singapore (I love the place and I like the Singaporeans). New Zealand and Singapore have a very good relationship and we move backwards and forwards between the two countries with a minimum of fuss. Singaporeans quite often choose New Zealand for their honeymoons. The New Zealand army had a lot of troops stationed there (at the Singaporeans' request) for many years, so a lot of Zilders have spent time there and know the place and the people well.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Good for you, mg! And CK--you continue to impress me mightily.
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Thanks everyone for the help.
My meeting went well but I was a victim of the echelon ladder. I got the V.P. since the head buyer from a big U.S. chain decided to come to the manufacturer at the same time as me. Sales people rank second.
Remembering all the politeness stuff was not the most difficult part, the most difficult was *not talking with my hands. In the site that Max suggested, the only thing they specifically said annoyed Chinese people was talking with one’s hands – a near impossibility for me, as you may have garnered from Connie’s post. I am a little, um, exuberant.
From stales: * Two mouthfuls in a row, rest the cutlery on your plate, dab your mouth and make conversation - repeat for the course of the meal.
Very useful information indeed. We went to a real, ducks and rabbits hanging by their necks at the front entrance, assorted unknown to me stuff selling on the counters, all Chinese waiters and menus, Chinese restaurant.
I was paying close attention so I did notice that they do not heap everything onto their plates but take one thing at a time and put it in a tiny bowl, bring the bowl next to the mouth and take a couple chews and put it down. Too easy – plus I am quite adept at eating with chopsticks so it went well.
Our host ordered everything. I am very adventurous about dining so I was quite pleased. I wish I could tell you the names of all that we ate but I couldn’t pronounce them. There were meat things wrapped in fried stuff. Some sort of noodle wrapped vegetable and meat cannelloni looking tubes. Noodle wrapped smoked shrimps. Spicy squid mixture. Fried octopus tentacles. Crispy flaked covered stuff. And a delicious dessert made from lotus paste wrapped in rice paste, wrapped in a batter, wrapped in sesame seed and fried.
I think I must have drank fifteen little cupfuls of tea before I remembered that if I didn’t want anymore I’d have to leave it full. Let me tell you that my eyes were nearly yellow when I got back to the office.
The meeting went very well. They really need help in the Québec market and they were impressed that I took the time to come to the plant to learn their business. I was introduced to everybody. Thank goodness I brought a load of cards.
Thanks again everyone. You are truly wonderful friends.
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My meeting went well
Glad to hear it, congratulations and glad to be of whatever assistance I could!!
Hev
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