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Joined: Sep 2000
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Ooo, I am going out of town on Thrusday to sit with a new supplier I found. The V.P. was quite happy to tell me that I would get to meet the President of the company since he would be in town too (the mother-company is based in the far east) BUT, BUT, BUT, the President speaks only Cantonese. He has an interpretor to handle any English/French conversations.

Does anybody have any "make a good impression" pointers to give me.

I know that I must give my business card using both hands, but that is just about it.

I really don't want to put my foot in my mouth or do anything untowards.

I once dealt with a Rabbi in an Ultra-Orthodox Jewish community and little did I know that I was not supposed to shake hands/touch him since I am a woman. He was very insulted when I tried and I was very angry at myself for not having thought to look into the customs before going. Now, I deal with his wife only.

I don't want to repeat that type of faux-pas again but I only have two days to bone up on any important stuff. Can anybody help?


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bow-- you should bow lower than he does..

but not too low... bowing is a sign of respect, and it is a signal to your status. Too low, and you are saying you are not to important!
he might just nod his head, you might just bow your whole head, or maybe even a bit with your shoulders.

watch others, and try to gage-- you shouldn't bow as low as the translater, but you should bow lower than, say your boss.

and think like a catholic school girl, feet flat on the floor, underneath you when you are seated.

in very formal occations, you might be asked is you want some tea, or something to drink. if you decline, your host will ask again, you should not decline more than twice.. (to accept the first time seems greed, to not accept at all, is rude!) but most times, since westerns don't know the fine points of declining, food or beverage is either there (at a place setting) or not served or offered..

and generally, some manner are accepted, even if not the manner of the culture.. (for instance burping at the table is perfectly acceptable for chinese. but if you don't know all the fine points of chinese manners, and don't use chop stick properly, but rather eat with fine western manners; and a knife and fork, don't burp at the table. Burping is not in keeping with western good manners!)

that's all i know..


#58571 02/25/02 08:22 PM
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Oh thank you! And thanks to Geoff for giving me the idea to ask here with his own thread. When searching the internet I usually flounder around aimlessly (or get gobsmacked by useless information).


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Hi Bel,

Dredging through my brain for cultural stuff from years gone by ... I worked in Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia for 2 years. Singapore is majority Chinese, with a blend of Cantonese, Mandarin and Hokkien speakers. I guess it depends on where your Cantonese guy is from (could be China, Hong Kong, Singapore or New Zealand for that matter. I met a guy in Singapore who was of Cantonese origin (parents) but had the thuckest [sic] Kiwi accent I'd ever heard in my life!! Had only live in S'pore for 6 months and was suffering severe culture shock!) Stories aside, here's my 2c worth:

* The "two hands" for business card... good.
* Generally speaking, Asian cultures are very quietly spoken. Try not to raise your voice, or get overly excited.
* Avoid physical contact, other than regular business practices - shaking hands etc. Touching is a no-no - especially on the head or shoulders.
* As far as working with a translator goes, remember to talk to "El presidente" when you are speaking. It's a very easy trap to fall into to speak to the translator, thus leaving your primary contact (and person you most want to impress) feeling like he is a spectator.

As of troy mentioned, bowing is good, but don't go over the top. A simple lowering of the head will show enough respect.

Above all, be courteous and aware. The fact that you're willing to find out about these things means that you're already doing both of those things. Realistically, most common courtesies (?) will get you by - especially if you are on your own home turf.

Hope this helps!

Hev

#58574 02/26/02 03:02 AM
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or get overly excited.

Hang on, Bel. I know you can avoid it!

EDIT Buena suerte, querida. I'll be rooting for you and cheering you on.

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bel

A few I've picked up along the way....

* el Presidente may wish to demonstrate his worldliness by using a knife and fork. This has the benefit of taking the pressure off you re chopsticks etc.

* Two mouthfuls in a row, rest the cutlery on your plate, dab your mouth and make conversation - repeat for the course of the meal.

* When the host picks up his napkin the meal has begun. When he puts it on the table the meal is over. Once any napkin is lifted from the table it should not be replaced until the meal is over. It sits on your chair during a comfort break.

* Be careful admiring any personal possessions of el Pres - he is obliged to give them to you. (My wife and I wound up with a beautiful set of crockery at a friend's chinese restaurant this way - having commented how nice the set was, where did they get it etc!) Edit - This could be misintrepeted - we did not set out to acquire the crockery - so we were the ones that were embarassed when it was given to us. We also knew it would be rude to refuse it - aye yi yi!

* Not talking to the translator is an excellent tip. It's the same when giving a presentation - most people talk to the board or the screen - not the audience.

* Chinese smoke like chimneys. If he lights up in front of you it's a sign that he's comfy in your presence! Even worse (IMHO), when really relaxed he will offer you a smoke. Guess what - you've gotta take it!

* I think a small gift reflecting your culture is in order. You may've seen those dolls and pots in people's offices - handed out by Asian visitors. I'm unsure of the etiquette here - who gives first, how enthusiasticly one receives the gift, is it to be wrapped etc. Maybe have one on standby? This is probably best - if you give first and he hasn't got anything to give you he will have lost face - very bad.

Why not give the embassy a call - the cultural attache will let you know the lot in a heartbeat.

Have fun!

stales


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Call the embassy: excellent, Stales!
Query: if the pres. admires something of yours, are you obliged to give it to him?


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* Be careful admiring any personal possessions of el Pres - he is obliged to give them to you.

I don't mean to slight a whole culture, but that's about the stupidest rule I think I've ever heard. That's like giving a spoiled brat everything he wants.


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that's about the stupidest rule I think I've ever heard
I was told, when preparing for a trip to Japan, that Orientals are turned off by ostentatious displays of wealth. Therefore, it follows that if someone you respect expresses interest in something which is yours, that interest is prompted by genuine regard for the object, not by mere acquisitiveness or the vanity of possessing it. To surrender the object willingly is to acknowledge the purity of the admirer's interest while, saying to the admirer at the same time, that you value your relationship with that person more highly than the object of admiration. An admirer who did not comprehend the intrinsic virtue of the admired object, apart from its monetary value, would not find his host so generous.


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