Register Log In Wordsmith.org Forums General Topics Miscellany more on red Search Advanced Forum Search Forums Calendar Active Threads

Previous Thread Next Thread Print Thread Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 more on red #55381 02/05/02 04:31 PM Joined: Apr 2000 Posts: 10,542 this too shall pass tsuwm OP Carpal Tunnel OP tsuwm Carpal Tunnel Joined: Apr 2000 Posts: 10,542 this too shall pass I ass|u|me y'all know about rednecks. [one of my favorite 'outlaw' tunes is Jerry Jeff Walker's "Up against the Wall, redneck mothers".] here are some excerpts from the 2002 edition of "you might be a redneck if...": You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. You burn your yard rather than mow it. The Salvation Army declines your mattress. Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. You come back from the dump with more than you took. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell. You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. You have a rag for a gas cap. Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. You can spit without opening your mouth. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV. You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table. You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph. Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: more on red #55382 02/05/02 05:32 PM Joined: Jan 2001 Posts: 13,858 W wwh Carpal Tunnel wwh Carpal Tunnel W Joined: Jan 2001 Posts: 13,858 Dear tsuwm: I don't get this one:"You have the local taxidermist on speed dial." Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: more on red #55383 02/05/02 06:07 PM Joined: Apr 2000 Posts: 10,542 this too shall pass tsuwm OP Carpal Tunnel OP tsuwm Carpal Tunnel Joined: Apr 2000 Posts: 10,542 this too shall pass I'd wager it's for the roadkill, bill. Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: more on red #55384 02/05/02 06:35 PM Joined: Mar 2000 Posts: 6,511 lower upstate New York AnnaStrophic Carpal Tunnel AnnaStrophic Carpal Tunnel Joined: Mar 2000 Posts: 6,511 lower upstate New York Being a half redneck mah own sef, I'd bet it's for head of the deer I done hunted. Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: more on red #55385 02/05/02 06:50 PM Joined: Jan 2001 Posts: 13,858 W wwh Carpal Tunnel wwh Carpal Tunnel W Joined: Jan 2001 Posts: 13,858 But if they eat their fill of roadkill, why involve the taxidermist? How many stuffed skunks do they need? Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: more on red #55386 02/05/02 06:52 PM Joined: Apr 2000 Posts: 10,542 this too shall pass tsuwm OP Carpal Tunnel OP tsuwm Carpal Tunnel Joined: Apr 2000 Posts: 10,542 this too shall pass >How many stuffed skunks do they need? depends.... there's all those kinda-cousins. Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: more on red #55387 02/05/02 08:44 PM Joined: Jan 2001 Posts: 13,858 W wwh Carpal Tunnel wwh Carpal Tunnel W Joined: Jan 2001 Posts: 13,858 Can't tell the skunks from the cousins without a program. Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: more on red #55388 02/07/02 02:16 PM Joined: Sep 2001 Posts: 872 Birmingham, Alabama M milum old hand milum old hand M Joined: Sep 2001 Posts: 872 Birmingham, Alabama Ah yes, wouldn't it be a wonderful world if all classes of mankind could learn to laugh at their ignorance, poverty, and lack of the cosmopolitan as we rednecks. The only other groups that seem to be able to laugh at themselves are New Zealanders and computer nerds. But sometimes I think... computer nerds just don't get the joke. Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: more on red #55389 02/07/02 03:06 PM Joined: Nov 2000 Posts: 866 Perth, Western Australia stales old hand stales old hand Joined: Nov 2000 Posts: 866 Perth, Western Australia Thanks for these Tsuwm. I saw a US comedian do what I thought was "the" redneck routine a few years ago and laughed myself sick. Do you recall who he may have been? Big guy - looked like Wyatt Earp. My fave then was "...you mow the lawn and find six vehicles..." and "....you expect the red and orange lights to flash in sequence before the green". Took me months to work out "...you have to climb the town water tower to defend your sister's honour" stales Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Re: more on red #55390 02/07/02 03:17 PM Joined: Jan 2001 Posts: 13,858 W wwh Carpal Tunnel wwh Carpal Tunnel W Joined: Jan 2001 Posts: 13,858 How about the redeneck who boasted to his dad that his girl was still a virgin. Dad replied, get rid of her. If she ain't good enough for her kinfolk, she ain't good enough for us. Copy Link to Clipboard Share Post on Facebook Share Post on Twitter Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 Moderated by  Jackie  Hop To General Topics ------  Information and announcements  Q&A about words  Wordplay and fun  Words and languages in schools  Miscellany  Weekly Themes  Looking for (writers, speakers,... (Old) Weekly themes. (have been... ------  Words from medicine  Beheading words  Meta-words  Words from classical mythology  Animal Safari  Words with unusual etymologies  Eponyms or words derived from p...  Loanwords from German  English as a global language Print Thread Switch to Threaded Mode Show Likes Link Copied to Clipboard View Profile Private Message Website Follow User Forum Posts Like Summary View Profile Private Message Follow User Forum Posts Like Summary View Profile Private Message Website Follow User Forum Posts Like Summary View Profile Private Message Follow User Forum Posts Like Summary View Profile Private Message Follow User Forum Posts Like Summary View Profile Private Message Website Follow User Forum Posts Like Summary View Profile Private Message Follow User Forum Posts Like Summary View Profile Private Message Follow User Forum Posts Like Summary View Profile Private Message Follow User Forum Posts Like Summary View Profile Private Message Follow User Forum Posts Like Summary Forum Statistics Forums16 Topics13,913 Posts229,316 Members9,182 Most Online3,341 Dec 9th, 2011 Newest Members Ineffable, ddrinnan, TRIALNERRA, befuddledmind, KILL_YOUR_SUV 9,182 Registered Users Who's Online Now 0 members (), 471 guests, and 3 robots. Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod Top Posters(30 Days) wofahulicodoc 30 A C Bowden 13 ddrinnan 1 LukeJavan8 1 Top Posters wwh 13,858 Faldage 13,803 Jackie 11,613 tsuwm 10,542 wofahulicodoc 10,533 LukeJavan8 9,916 Buffalo Shrdlu 7,210 AnnaStrophic 6,511 Wordwind 6,296 of troy 5,400

Default Style BlackNTan Drab eBay GooG v2 infopop new dark new light original dark original stock rounded corners Slate snow sunny dropshadow theblues Touch Of Grey UBB.threads UBB.threads - Dark UBB.threads - Light UBBCentral UBBCentral - Crimson UBBCentral - Lime UBBCentral - Marshmallow UBBCentral - Mocha UBBCentral - Zen UBBT77 UBBT77 - Dark ubbthreads ubbthreads-dark Forum Rules · Mark All Read Contact Us · Forum Help · Wordsmith.org