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Not to be read by the terminally-serious supporter of any particular politician
I was reading a New Zealand Listener (weekly news and TV guide in Zild) from December 29 2001 today. It reviewed the year both nationally and internationally and gave snippets of some of the stranger goings-on in the world. And commented on some of the strange people behind them, too. Most of the national stuff would go right over your heads, NZ politics not be the hottest topic on Earth. But some of the international items bear repeating.
FWIW, the Listener is respected as being as truthful as possible. Not the News of the World or Private Eye genre.
There goes the African vote "What the hell would I want to go to a place like Mombasa for?" Toronto mayor Mel Lastman mused to reporters, just before travelling to a meeting in Kenya to pitch for his city to be the venue for the 2008 Summer Olympics. "I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me."
Too Much Television Can Be A Bad Thing Christopher Bishop of Muncie, Indiana scrawled "You are the weakest link, goodbye!" on a note attached to a bomb that he then posted to his wife Tracy - who survived the blast.
This Is A Black Helicopter-Free Zone Councillors in La Verkin, Utah, have noted to prohibit the town from recognising any United Nations activities and have ordered any citizen who does so to notify the council in writing and place a sign on his or her lawn warning neighbours of their support for the UN.
Dope buys Dope When Rosie Lee Hill paid good money for two rocks of cocaine she went to police in Pensacola, Florida, to complain that she'd been ripped off and sold baking soda instead. Police tested the evidence. No, it really was cocaine, so they arrested Hill for possession.
Ocker Shocker According the Sun an English hospital patient fainted on being told that she was about to be discharged. Apparently, she though her Australian nurse had said, "We are sending you home to die."
And When You Do, You Will When US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was asked by White House reporters about progress on catching Osama bin Laden, he replied: "Until you have him, you do not have him."
The Untouchables confront the Unmentionables In July, legislators in Colorado passed House Bill number 01-1221 into law, thus making it illegal for any resident of Colorado to wear aluminium underpants. Shoplifters had been using them to foil electronic alarm systems. The law allows an exception for those who can prove they wear aluminium underwear for "personal reasons".
Yeah, right Thai Interior Minister Purachai Piumsombun has defended his plan to close down Bangkok's notorious girlie bars early at night on the grounds that tourists don't like that sort of stuff anyway. "Tourists are here because they want to see natural beauty. They don't want to see exotic dancers or take drugs."
You Left "Phony" and "Execution-Happy" Off the List A senior Bush administration official defined the agenda for the President's European visit in June: "The common European perception is of a shallow, arrogant, gun-loving, abortion-hating, Christian-fundamentalist Texas buffoon. We need to get it all on a higher plane."
Oh, well ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Well, m'dear, if you say the Listener is reliable, then I shall take your word for it. Some of these put me in mind of the "You're too stupid to..." convo I posted.
Is there really a place somewhere that manufactures aluminum underwear??
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Is there really a place somewhere that manufactures aluminum underwear??
Maybe the perps make their shiny underthings out of aluminum foil.
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aluminium underpants. Shoplifters had been using them to foil electronic alarm systems.
Maybe the perps make their shiny underthings out of aluminum foil.
I hear a shopkeeper screaming, "Curses! Foiled again!"
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I have to tell you all what I said without thinking
to my husband, telling him about this item, when he asked why anyone would want to wear aluminum underwear: "To foil security systems"...then nearly wrecked the car, laughing!
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I think it highly unlikely that Colorado legislators passed any law about aluminium [sic] garments. Jackie, Keiva and Rapunzul seem to have missed this.
What was that about a common language?
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Jackie, Keiva and Rapunzul seem to have missed this. Oh, no, Bob, I saw that evil i--I simply wanted to refrain from pointing out CK's error!  
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I have seen something like that in a catalog: it was meant to help people to perspire, to loose liquid, so to slim.
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... not to mention travelling, recognising, Defence.... Makes you wonder if you can believe any of it! 
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Mispelling doth follow determined mispronunciation, methinks. 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Mispelling doth follow determined mispronunciation, methinks
Nice to see one of 'em admit it.
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But did the colorado legislators out law aluminium underpants-- or aluminum underpants?
it one of the few things that really bother me.. i don't care if the Economist (and the UK in general) want to spell center as centre -- but when writing about a happening in DC at the JFK Art Center-- it is just that the JFK Art Center not Centre!
if they want to talk about something happening in Mid town NY, and use the phrase centre city-- OK, then they are not talking about a place with a specific name..
If Alcoa set up a new plant in some old commonwealth county, and calls it, for the sake of local speaker the
"the Island aluminium plant" and not "the Island Aluminum Plant" ok-- but if Alcoa names it "The Kingston Aluminum Plant" you can't just go and change the name!
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Mispelling doth follow determined mispronunciation, methinksNice to see one of 'em admit it.Ah, a trap laid and a trap sprung. Bliss!
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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a trap laid and a trap sprung
And mighty tasty bate it was, Cap. Thanks.
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the civilised world knows it's DarbyAhem--that's civili zed, sir. ========================================================== Mispelling is miown.Good one, doc! I changed something, just in case someone didn't notice.
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Yes. It's true that the Colo legislature passed the law about wearing aluminum underwear. But only after a great deal of reflection.
TEd
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call the race held at Churchill Downs the Durby, even though the civilised world knows it's Darby.
So why *do you spell it as though it were pronounced Durby??
Er you that confused?
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So why *do you spell it as though it were pronounced Durby??
Parbly for the same reason, whatever that is, they spell what they pronounce "clark," clerk.
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for the same reason, whatever that is, they spell what they pronounce "clark," clerk.
Yeah, perbly.
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Faldage: So why *do you spell it as though it were pronounced Durby??ASp: for the same reason, whatever that is, they spell what they pronounce "clark," clerk.Faldage: Yeah, perbly.A wise move, Faldage, to agree with the woman!
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agree with the woman!
Hey, when folks are right, I agree with them.
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Hey, when folks are right, I agree with them.Presumably when there is an dangerous degree of proximity, anyway ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Right, Kiwi. Or when there is something to be gained thereby... [hmmm... now what e-con is appropriate here?]
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This reminds me of the following verbage posted a year ago November........
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
To the citizens of the United States of America,
In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to
govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over
all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she
does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for
the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world
outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need
for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A
questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you
noticed.
The remainder of this amusing announcement can be found at www.dumblists.com
Cheers!
Chemeng
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Perhaps I should've posted more so ya'all wouldn't be saying, "what IS she talking about?????????"
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the
same
twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you
know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up
"interspersed".
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf.
Sorry about that.............
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dangerous degree of proximity
Now, come, come, Cap. I've even agreed with you once or twice. Or vice versa.
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Indeed. But you avoid the point, don't you?
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Indeed. But you avoid the point, don't you? Faldage evades -- and wisely so. Defer to thy SWMBO!
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Defer to thy SWMBO!
Yes, it is about time I tried a new experience ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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you avoid the point, don't you?
I don't think so. I agree with people when they're right. STWIGVP is right most of the time.
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STWIGVP...
There's nothing like a good *puzzle!
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There's nothing like a good *puzzle!Agreed. Nothing like.
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Sorry no results were found matching: STWIGVP.
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