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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773 |
Below is the text of an opinion of a federal district court, sans the legal citations, which interested me because the vitriol is so rare in this context, even when well warranted:
Labor Force, Inc v Jacintoport Corp, 144 F Supp 2d 740 (SD Tex 2001)
On June 6, 2001, Defendant Jacintoport Corporation filed a Rule 12(b)(3) Motion to Dismiss or in the Alternative to Transfer for Improper Venue. Defendant’s Motion contends that venue in the Galveston Division of the Southern District of Texas is improper, but that venue in the Houston Division of this Court is proper. Accordingly, Defendant seeks a dismissal or, alternatively, a transfer to the Houston Division of this Court’s Judicial District.
Manifestly, any person with even a correspondence course level understanding of federal practice and procedure would recognize that Defendant’s Motion is patently insipid, ludicrous and utterly and unequivocally without any merit whatsoever. Worse, it is just plain blatantly wrong in light of the unambiguous language of decades old federal statute and veritable mountains of case law addressing venue propriety. The federal venue statute hopelessly incorrectly interpreted and cited by Defendant provides that venue is proper in:
(1) a judicial DISTRICT ….
(emphasis added, as it is apparently needed by blithering counsel!) As the heightened letters above indicate, the venue statute speaks in terms of districts not divisions. Thus, if venue is proper in the Houston Division of the Southern District of Texas it is ipso facto proper in the Galveston Division – as well as in the Divisions of Corpus Christi, Victoria, Brownsville, McAllen and Laredo. Whether a case might be more conveniently prosecuted in one Division versus another is a question left to analysis under 28 USC 1404(a). Defendant’s obnoxiously ancient, boilerplate, inane Motion is emphatically DENIED.
Moreover, Defendant’s present counsel-of-record, Mr Eric G Carter is determined to be disqualified for cause from this action for submitting this asinine tripe. ….
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
... this asinine tripe. ?
A judge's dream?
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Moreover, Defendant’s present counsel-of-record, Mr Eric G Carter is determined to be disqualified for
cause from this action for submitting this asinine tripe
Bovine tripe would be bad enough, but asinine tripe offered the judge would be grounds for disbarment!. ….
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
Bovine tripe would be bad enough
Bovine tripe is delicious. Anyone got any good menudo recipes?
Never had no asinine tripe so I wouldn't know
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Order in the Court! Order in the Court!Hizzoner didn't order no censored deleted unprinted cow offal!
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
asinine is such a... woody word. it conjures up its meaning so readily; it lends itself to being aptly misspelled (assinine), and it enhances inflationary language (asiten) [RIP Victor Borge] .
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
Dear Sparteye, just this minute read that opinion.
What is the Judge's name and address?
I want to send flowers ....
Never thought I'd live to see it! Bloody Maaaaahvelous.
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
OH MY GAWD! I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING! THANKS!!
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 771
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 771 |
Why is this judge not assigned to the Microsoft anti-trust case? Seems like this one's got plenty of whup-ass to go around...
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
Seems like this one's (judge) got plenty of whup-ass to go around...
Perfect Fiberbabe! plenty of whup-ass to go around You got it just right!
ROFLMHO
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