#20418 - 02/27/01 09:24 AM
Describing your job
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 11/25/00
Posts: 3439
Loc: New England, USA
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What words describe your job?
I post this with encoragement from The Lovely Lady From Kentucky
LET'S WORK IT OUT
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ...couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I it didn't last, I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
I stayed at my last job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
So I retired, and found I'm a perfect fit for the job!
(Running off stage to avoid thrown rotten tomatoes emoticon)
wow
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#20420 - 02/27/01 11:15 AM
Re: Describing your job
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member
Registered: 12/13/00
Posts: 144
Loc: London, UK
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Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
______________________________________________
I'm afraid I need a translation here.... Is a 'muffler' what we (Brits) would call a 'silencer'?
I thought the other ones were great - it was just that line I couldn't quite make sense of!
I guess I would have to go for: I used to work in publishing, but kept having trouble with the fine print.
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#20421 - 02/27/01 11:39 AM
Re: Describing your job
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 11/25/00
Posts: 3439
Loc: New England, USA
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Is a 'muffler' what we (Brits) would call a 'silencer'?
-----------------------------------------------------
Language can be frustrating, can't it?
The "muffler" is the big fat thingie with the long pipe that exhausts gas from the engine ... most mechanics -- more properly I think -- call it an "exhaust system" since its made up of the two parts and hence the punability.
wow
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#20424 - 02/27/01 01:25 PM
Re: Describing your job
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 01/18/01
Posts: 13858
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"silencer" Since the device cannot produce silence, it seems to be one of the few instances where the Brit term is less precise than the US term.
And how can I be re-tired, since I have no wheels?
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#20425 - 02/27/01 02:31 PM
Re: Describing your job
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journeyman
Registered: 02/20/01
Posts: 85
Loc: Springfield, MA, USA
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I thought I could be a success as an artist, but it just left my bank account overdrawn.
I wanted to be a web designer, but I just got stuck when I tried to learn code.
My friend said I could get a job at the Department of Wildlife and Fisheries, but that was just a wild goose chase.
Ali
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#20427 - 02/27/01 05:47 PM
Re: Describing your job
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 09/28/00
Posts: 2888
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I tried to work in dog maintenance but I was just too pooped.
I got fired from the circus because I wouldn’t stop clowning around.
My job in garbage collecting stunk and the pay was really rubbish
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#20428 - 02/28/01 02:11 AM
Re: Describing your job
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old hand
Registered: 03/15/00
Posts: 1010
Loc: Switzerland
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I used to play the violin, but there were too many strings attached.
I had a position as a flutist, but I blew it.
I tried my hand at the battery, but it was no hit.
I found a place as an organist, but didn't know how to pull all the stops...
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#20431 - 02/28/01 09:36 AM
Re: Describing your job
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 4757
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he couldn't find his organ stops
... and he was fond of a good fugue!
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#20432 - 02/28/01 09:52 AM
Re: Describing your job
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 01/18/01
Posts: 13858
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With 18 kids I hope he toccata good insurance policy.
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#20433 - 02/28/01 09:58 AM
Re: Describing your job
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 4757
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good insurance policy
No, he got no further than a cover note: he could never get them to underwrite it once they knew the score.
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#20435 - 02/28/01 01:17 PM
Re: Describing your job
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veteran
Registered: 11/22/00
Posts: 1289
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J.S. Bach
Moreover, he wore out two organs!
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#20436 - 02/28/01 01:23 PM
Re: Describing your job
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 01/18/01
Posts: 13858
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So, that was his secret! Didelphic penises?With four family jewels?
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#20438 - 02/28/01 02:11 PM
Re: Describing your job
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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"Talk about your two-timer! Or is that 4/4?"
yes... and played very, very softly... as in pianissimo...
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#20441 - 02/28/01 04:18 PM
Re: Describing your job
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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that's a trivial pursuit question, you know.... one which of course provided much delight for my friends and me, since we were relatively young at the time it came out:
"What has a man that suffers from diphallic terata?"
(this is the part where you punsters reply "A good chance at scoring a date with siamese twins")
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#20442 - 03/01/01 02:59 AM
Re: Describing your job
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addict
Registered: 01/09/01
Posts: 427
Loc: Spain
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When I was younger I wanted to be an aeroplane pilot, but I couldn't keep up. Then I went for a job as a chauffeur, but it drove me nuts. Eventually I tried to be a seamstress, but I wasn't cut for it. 
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#20443 - 03/01/01 03:28 AM
Re: Describing your job
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old hand
Registered: 03/15/00
Posts: 1010
Loc: Switzerland
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While we are at it.. the story may be old enough to be unknown:
On the stairs, Mrs. Smith proudly announces to her neighbor Mrs. Arkwright: "My husband has an electric organ!"
Upon which the neighbor wonders: "Ah.. does it light up at night?"
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#20444 - 03/01/01 09:59 AM
Re: Describing your job
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 01/18/01
Posts: 13858
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At least the neighbor did not ask where he plugged it in.
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#20445 - 03/01/01 02:45 PM
Re: Bach
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veteran
Registered: 11/22/00
Posts: 1289
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Seriously, I'm delighted the thread took this little detour onto old JS. His birthday is this month, so here's a tribute to him. He was not always the sober, religious Lutheran director musices that he appears to be, although his sons used to refer to him as "the old wig". He actually was fond of a good rollicking party, which was always held whenever he got together with his very extensive family of cousins and in-laws, besides all those kids. Actually, due to the usual rate of infant mortality in those days, quite a few died as children, so there were not always a platoon running around the house. His first wife, Barbara, died after giving birth to the first 6; the second, Anna Magdalena, was made of sterner stuff and bore 13, for a total of 19, not 18.
Being an organist myself, I can attest that his sense of humor extended to his music. You find little musical jokes hidden in the music from time to time. But his biggest joke was the way he wrote. I have spent countless hours over many years on the organ bench cussing the old wretch because I know very well that when he wrote a lot of those pieces, he said to himself, "Well let's see one of those other guys play this!"
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#20447 - 03/02/01 03:27 AM
Re: Describing your job
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addict
Registered: 06/27/00
Posts: 444
Loc: Sydney Australia
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I thought I'd enjoy being a seamstress, but it was just sew-sew.
I tried acting for a while, but I felt my career lacked direction.
Now, things are looking up at last. I'm an astronomer!
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#20450 - 03/02/01 11:32 AM
Re: Describing your job
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 11/13/00
Posts: 3146
Loc: Northamptonshire, England
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I used to be a printer but computers stamped it out;
So I tried information technology but I couldn't stay interested in IT.
_________________________
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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#20451 - 03/02/01 02:36 PM
Re: Describing your job
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 01/05/01
Posts: 1814
Loc: Spam Factory
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I was a surgeon but I just couldn't cut it.
Then I was an anesthesiologist, but all my coworkers were passing gas so much that I had to leave.
So then I became a pathologist, but that whole career just seemed dead.
Then I became a urologist, but all day I had to deal with a bunch of d*cks and a**holes. [doh!]
Next I tried my hand at being an infectious diseases specialist, but I just got sick of the job.
I tried my hand at being a pediatrician, but everyone was so childish.
I worked for awhile as a gastroenterologist, but I just couldn't stomach it.
I thought about trying to become a neurologist, but I just didn't have the nerve.
So now I am an oncologist. I didn't like it at first but it's starting to grow on me.
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#20453 - 03/02/01 08:15 PM
Re: passing gas
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 01/18/01
Posts: 13858
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But not all rectal carriers passing aerosols of antibiotic resistant staph, I hope.
Thanks, Sparteye.
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#20454 - 03/03/01 07:29 AM
Re: passing gas
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Pooh-Bah
Registered: 01/05/01
Posts: 1814
Loc: Spam Factory
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RE: "But not all rectal carriers passing aerosols of antibiotic resistant staph, I hope"
MRSA sakes alive, that sounds VRE bad! (Somebody stop me, please.)
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#20455 - 03/03/01 05:59 PM
Re: Describing your job
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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 01/18/01
Posts: 13858
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I worked in a mental hospital but did not want to be a sick iatrist.
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