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#166511 - 03/05/07 04:12 PM Re: Howye TEd (no relation) and Branshea [Re: ParkinT]
BranShea Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 5282
Loc: Netherlands, the Hague
Come on, ParkinT!
In your next life, if you'll the have the luck to be reborn as a woman you might learn to see and hear the difference between Bogard and Brooks
The voice! Humphrey Bogard has(had) the voice!

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#167360 - 04/05/07 09:01 PM Happy Easter everyone [Re: BranShea]
GallantTed Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 11/07/01
Posts: 273
Loc: Ireland




Advertismint


Inrtraducen - Albear Camoo’s “THE INSIDER”

The innovative smokeless tabacco what let’s ya smoke inside

As discovered by Albear Camoo and

Available exclusively from the House a Ted Inc

Order now at a special intraductry price a just €19.99 per pack

With free, yes FREE match with every order over €99.99


(T & C apply, striker fer the FREE match costs €29.99 exter; for the purposes a saven the world somea the matches may be recycled and already used - but just the once)

Fer further details apply within

(warning: inflammible substance, there may be a risk of fire and subsequent smoke on ignition)




Howye fokes! How is things? Things is fierce busy here fer sure, what with the launch a our new smokeless tabacco - Albear Camoo’s “The Insider” – The smokeless tabacco what lets ya smoke inside.

Anyways, I’m not too busy fer ta go back on me promises and I told ye last week that I’d tell ye all the craic what Peig SoothSayers, the Gaelgoric misfortune teller from them bygone days of yore, and MadDogTed was haven duren the official launch a our new product - Albear Camoo’s “The Insider” – The smokeless tabacco what lets ya smoke inside. Peig was tellen MadDogTed a load a true stories about what life was like back when she was a little girl in the olden days.

One a MadDogTed’s favourites was the story about the little old widda woman what used ta live near Peig and what had ta call out the AI man fer ta service her cow. When he arrived she brung him inta the barn and told him that there was a bucket a water, soap and a towel in the corner fer him ta wash his hands. And then, as she turned ta go she sed “And there’s a hook on the back a door fer ta hang yer trousers.” No codden! And I bet that afterwards himself and the cow would a smoked Albear Camoo’s “The Insider” – The smokeless tabacco what lets ya smoke inside, if only it had been invented back then. Don’t ferget ta order yers taday.

Be seein ya

GallantTed





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#167431 - 04/08/07 06:34 PM Re: Happy Easter everyone [Re: GallantTed]
GallantTed Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 11/07/01
Posts: 273
Loc: Ireland
Howye fokes! How is things? I’m not codden ya, but after 40 days and 40 nights a total abstinince it’s just grate ta be back on the carbon again – us Teds gave it up fer the Lent, ya know. We’re fierce delighted with ourselves fer sure and just can’t wait fer ta get our carbon footprints re-measured so that we can see how much carbon credits we’ve saved up. Not ta mention the amount a sin and guilt we’ve saved ourselves, and we’ve no dout that after this mighty feet a self-denial and sufferen, we’ll be goen straight in ta heaven fer sure when it’s our turn fer ta kick the bucket.

Anyways, we was all beyont in Slasher’s jint celebraten our immaculate virtousness and talken religiously about all things holy when Mr Slasher began tellen us about the sale of indulginces what used ta happen back in the olden days. Ya see, the rich peeple didn’t have ta make any sacrifices or do any penince fer their sins or nothin cos all they had ta do was ta pay a few bob ta Them-What-Were-In-Charge, and then get a receipt fer ta take with them ta heaven when they passed over. I’m not sure meself weather ya was supposed ta write the cheque out ta St Peter or ta God Himself, but suffice ta say it sounded a bit of a ominous system alltagather and after a moments silence we decided ta reflect on this pint fer a while.

Then, after given thanks and praise that the likes a that doesn’t be happenen in this day and age, we settled down ta discuss the main business a the night – weather we’d sell off our saved up carbon credits ta the highest bidder or weather we’d put them towards a long haul flight ta Vegas or somewhere. A course, if we chose the second option then we’d probably have ta pay a big huge pile a carbon tax fer our sins – and whereas we’re all in favour a throwen money at problems fer ta make them go away, we wasn’t sure weather ta write the cheque out ta Mammy Nature or Mammy Earth. Either way, I’m sure both a them could use the money fer ta get a new frock or a new hair-do or somethin, but in the end we decided on the furst option. Apply within if yer interested.

Be seein ya

GallantTed

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#167433 - 04/08/07 09:04 PM Re: Happy Easter everyone [Re: GallantTed]
Faldage Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/01/00
Posts: 13803
Ted! Good to see you again.

I made a New Year's resolution to quit giving up things for Lent back in 1962. That was the same year I gave up New Year's resolutions for Lent. I've stuck with both of them for all these years and I don't intend to quit now.

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#167449 - 04/09/07 11:34 AM Re: Happy Easter everyone [Re: Faldage]
belMarduk Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/28/00
Posts: 2891
Originally Posted By: Faldage
Ted! Good to see you again.

I made a New Year's resolution to quit giving up things for Lent back in 1962. That was the same year I gave up New Year's resolutions for Lent. I've stuck with both of them for all these years and I don't intend to quit now.


HA!

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#168960 - 06/30/07 09:52 AM Re: Happy Easter everyone [Re: belMarduk]
GallantTed Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 11/07/01
Posts: 273
Loc: Ireland
Howye fokes! How is things!

Me pal, Albear Camoo, decided ta take a new direction in his writen and taught he'd try his paw at a bitta the Chick Lit what's all the rage at the minute. His furst novel in this genere called, "A Bad Hare Day", has just been published and is a right hart-renchen rollercoaster ride a emotions alltagather. It's all about a fierce vane Rooster called Roberto what falls in love with Martha, a fierce glamerous Hare what comes from the other side a the chicken wire. Romeo and Juliet was never in it with this pair, I'll tell ya, and things do be goen grand with them alltagather until the fatefull day when Roberto discovers a gray hare in his comb.

The poor fella didn't know what ta do and at furst kep the problem well hidden under his hat. Then after many sleepless nights a dispair he valiantally decided ta get some professional help. It was here that our intrepid hero was intraduced ta the murky world a hair colouren and after a soul destroyen journey through the ups and downs a highlights and lowlights, Roberto soon found himself choosen the harder option a all-out streeken.

Meanwhile, a distraught Martha didn't know what exactly was goen on with her once ardent beau and was haven her own sleepless nights a dispair wonderen if there was somethin the matter with her cos her Roberto seemed ta have a problem goen all the way. It was then that she made the daren decision ta change the colour a her own beautiful tresses. So our intrepid heroine was
also intarduced ta the murky world a hare colouren and it weren't long before she too had reached the all-out streeken phase. But was it enuff fer ta save the tainted passion a our two tint-crossed lovers?

Well, fokes after more hart-renchen sleepless nights a dispair and all that sorta stuff, I've no dout in me furry little mind that ya'll be bursten ta know the final outcome. Now, I don't want ta give too much away at this pint, but suffice ta say that, yes! yes! yes! - they eventually did go all the way and tragically they both dyed in the end.

Be seein ya

GallantTed

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#168964 - 06/30/07 03:48 PM Re: Happy Easter everyone [Re: GallantTed]
TEd Remington Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 07/17/00
Posts: 3467
Loc: Marion NC
And 'twas Paddy the Irish pig who got to the root o' the matter, much to the hare's dis-tress. This led Roberto to suggest that his darlin' hare put on some infusing oil, leading to the rapeseeding of the lock. Paddy thought that was a bangs-on idea, but had trouble getting the other two to beehive themselves long enough to dance the French twist. And he certainly upbraded them about it, the snip.

I hope everyone can follicle this.
_________________________
TEd

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#169262 - 07/17/07 01:00 AM Re: Happy Easter everyone [Re: TEd Remington]
GallantTed Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 11/07/01
Posts: 273
Loc: Ireland
Howye fokes! How is things?

After the grate success a MadDogTed’s furst Sick Lit novel, John with the Wind, there was no way that me other literary pal, Albear Camoo, was goen ta be out done and a right battle a lits enscewed as Albear rushed ta get his second novel in the Chick Lit genre published.

His new novel, Ta Fleece a Sheep, is full a passion, intrigue, betrayal and all that sorta stuff and is all about a fierce rich but socially inept Farmer what longs ta be runnen with the In Crowd, but is cursed by the mark a the agricultural wellinton. He desperately tries ta hide his brutally boorish beginnens and bumptiousally makes several attimpts ta launch himself inta high society, but constantly gives his poor breeden away - like the time he bought his way inta a reel fancy card game only ta make a holy show outta himself by spitten on his hands every time a spade was delt.

Anyways, one fatefull night, a fierce mysterious and glamerous woman enters his life and he’s fierce delighted with himself alltagather. But tragically, what our mutton-heded frend doesn’t realize is that she’s really only a washed-out, mutton-dressed-as lamb, gallopen trollop offa gold digger what’s only after his money.

Now, I can’t be given too much more away at this pint, but I’m not codden ya, yer eyes will be glued ta the pages as ya enter this exciten world a thrills, spills, treachery, glitz, glamour, fizzy sheep dip on ice and all that sorta stuff. It promises ta be a grate read alltagather and one ya should definitely pack inta yer suit case when yer goen on yer hollimadays. Which reminds me, if ya have any exter room in yer case fer a few very wordy Teds badly in need offa a brake, please apply within.

Be seein ya

GallantTed

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#169264 - 07/17/07 06:35 AM Re: Happy Easter everyone [Re: GallantTed]
Faldage Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/01/00
Posts: 13803
Always a pleasure to see you here, GTed.

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#169268 - 07/17/07 10:29 AM Re: Happy Easter everyone [Re: GallantTed]
BranShea Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 5282
Loc: Netherlands, the Hague
This robin passes by for a good story,GTed.

[like the time he bought his way inta a reel fancy card game only ta make a holy show outta himself by spitten on his hands every time a spade was delt.]
For the Teds: A jar of very exclusive Mimosa Hair Honey. Not sure if they should eat it or put it on their hair/fur. Maybe both, read the label carefully.

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