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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,067
old hand
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OP
old hand
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,067 |
My parents just forwarded this to me:
The New Dictionary - In case you missed it, here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners are:
1. cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole.
3. intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
4. reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit!)
12. karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's a serious bummer.
13. decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. glibido: All talk and no action.
15. dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
What year are these from? I recognize reintarnation and sarchasm from previous contests..
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,067
old hand
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OP
old hand
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,067 |
No idea, it's just one of the many pieces of e-junk my parents keep forwarding to me. It might be old for all I know. But it's funny in any case.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,154
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,154 |
 ta, now back to work.
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Ooh, ooh, I just thought of one for the second category:
penvy: what you feel when you realize your coworker is using a writing implement that cost as much as your house payment.*
*Or more! Take a look: On Thursday February 8 2007, xxxxxx, a fountain pen and luxury goods manufacturer, and yyyyyy, a jewelry house, unveiled a limited edition writing instrument known as the Mystery Masterpiece. This masterpiece of ink dispensing will only set you back $730,000, making the creation the world’s most expensive pen ever produced.
The unique work took over a year and a half to create by skilled artisans and if you hurry you can have your choice of three variations, set with 20 carats of sapphires, emeralds, or rubies, and accented by almost 840 diamonds. The three versions of the expensive pens are limited to three releases each for a total of nine of the most expensive writing instruments to be sold.
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 876
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 876 |
Wanna post a pic of that house of yours, Jackie?!?
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 155
member
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member
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 155 |
Well done. I like penvy. Here's hoping psychoanalysts won't hijack it to use it as shorthand for a certain two-word term.
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1
stranger
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stranger
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 1 |
 "PENAWVY" might be a healthier hijack hope it's best to look on the sunny side  oh, and always remember : yer never fully dressed without a smile ! ! !
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