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What a difference punctuation can make! (I apologise if you've already seen this).
Dear Jack,
I want a man who knows what love is all about.
You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who
are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you.
I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart.
I can be forever happy – will you let me be yours?
Jill
Dear Jack
I want a man who knows what love is.
All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful
people, who are not like you. Admit to being
useless and inferior. You have ruined me.
For other men I yearn! For you I have no feelings
whatsoever. When we’re apart I can be forever
happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Jill
Last edited by Hydra; 05/02/07 11:29 AM.
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Carpal Tunnel
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I especially like the ironic "Yours" at the end of the second version.
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Pooh-Bah
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dalehileman
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The following sentence from a biograpy about the Duke of Alba (16th century) posed problems caused by superfluous comma's: "The shock tactics, the arrests and repression, the executions and the defeat of invasion attempts, all combined to overawe any possible opposition, and stunned the population into submission." It seemed like an impossble sentence to me and I read it over and over again . It all became clear when I took three commas's off: The shock tactics, the arrests and repression and the defeat of invasion attemps all combined to overawe any possible opposition and stunned the population into submission. In the original sentence I missed the link between the summing up and the conclusive: 'and stunned the population into submission.' (think this falls under 'puncutation'?)Sorry, punctuation. (some typo's are worth keeping)  It was a funny reading experience.
Last edited by BranShea; 05/06/07 10:19 AM.
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One of your executed commas took "the executions" along with it; tarred with too broad an eraser. That aside, I think it's a good argument for the Strunken Whitean comma before the conjunction in a list of three or more items. I'd go with The shock tactics, the arrests and repression, the executions, and the defeat of invasion attempts all combined to overawe any possible opposition and stunned the population into submission. I don't know if the last two commas "... attempts, all ..." and "... opposition, and stunned ..." are good from a formal point of view, but I could see where they might lead to confusion in the mind of a non-native speaker, even one as fluent as you are, BranShea.
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Yes, the way you put the commas , the sentence is perfectly understandable and possibly best. The critical one was the one after opposition. That's the ugly one. (for a non native reader) ( Once the eraser is loose comma's, beware! )
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Carpal Tunnel
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Faldage
are good from a formal point of view, but I could see where they might lead to confusion in the mind of a non-native speaker,
Yes, Faldage, I'm always aware that my look a the English words must be quite different from the way a native speaker sees them. So misunderstandings come easy. And makes it and adventure at the same time. It would take about a lifetime to really get a bit near a native speaker's ease with the language.
Last edited by BranShea; 05/06/07 08:23 PM.
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Pooh-Bah
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As a tech writer in my younger life I had to be acutely aware of the hyphen. For example, 5-year-old boys are an unspecified number of male youngsters each 5 years old; while 5 year-old boys are 5 boys, all one year old.
However, 5-year old boys are an unstipulated number of aging men; each having, for example, tenure of 5 years.
dalehileman
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Nice examples. I still like Truss's heading for the chapter on the importance of the hyphen in her book on punctuation. (-) A Little Used Punctuation Mark. That's clever, I think.
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old hand
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old hand
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It's like a little bridge connecting Two words together.
However, I think the meaning here is clear.
5 year old boys
Context is the key!
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