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#16792 - 02/03/01 09:46 AM Re: We need some ACTION here
TEd Remington Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 07/17/00
Posts: 3467
Loc: Marion NC
>teD, that was absolutely the wor... no, that would only encourage you.

Ah, ts, I AM incorrigible.


_________________________
TEd

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#16793 - 02/03/01 01:18 PM Re: More shaggy dogs
tsuwm Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 04/03/00
Posts: 10521
Loc: this too shall pass
this news item brings us full circle, back to Attila the Hun:

PRILEP, Yugoslavia (AP) - Outside a small Macedonian village close to the border between Greece and strife-torn Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of the site of significant historical developments spanning more than 2,000 years. When Sister Maria Cyrilla of the Order of the Perpetual Watch dies, the convent of St. Elias will be closed by the Eastern Orthodox Patriarch of Macedonia.

However, that isn't likely to happen soon as Sister Maria, 53, enjoys excellent health. By her own estimate, she walks 10 miles daily about the grounds of the convent, which once served as a base for the army of Attila the Hun. In more ancient times, a Greek temple to Eros, the god of love, occupied the hilltop site.

Historians say that Attila took over the old temple in 439 A.D. and used it as a base for his marauding army. The Huns are believed to have first collected and then destroyed a large gathering of Greek legal writs at the site. It is believed that Attila wanted to study the Greek legal system and had the writs and other documents brought to the temple. Scholars differ on why he had the valuable documents destroyed - either because he was barely literate and couldn't read them, or because they provided evidence of democratic government that did not square with his own notion of rule by an all-powerful tyrant.

When the Greek church took over the site in the 15th Century and the convent was built, church leaders ordered the pagan statue of Eros destroyed, so another ancient Greek treasure was lost. Today, there is only the lone sister, watching over the old Hun base, amidst the strife of war torn Yugoslavia, and when she goes, that will be it.

Thus, that's how it ends, with No Huns, no writs, no Eros, and nun left on base.

                        ---30---                 



[apologies to non-baseball (or cricket) fanatics]


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#16794 - 02/03/01 01:25 PM Re: really really reallly
wow Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 11/25/00
Posts: 3439
Loc: New England, USA
Dear Ted,
I did not mean to throw down the gauntlet with my really long story. But since you picked it up and charged so brilliantly into the list I surrender the laurel wreath.
wow


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#16795 - 02/04/01 10:54 PM Re: More shaggy dogs
Jackie Offline

Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 03/15/00
Posts: 11609
Loc: Louisville, Kentucky
[apologies to non-baseball (or cricket) fanatics]

Apologies not necessary, tsuwm and wow. I think we can
acknowledge Ted as the master of this realm, so the rest of us can just know we are operating on a lower plane.

Once upon a time, there was a young boy named Jack. Jack was a gullible lad. He got this trait from his mother, who could be described as gullectible. They lived in a cottage rather far from the nearest village. She sent him to town one day, to trade her record collection for as much food as he could get. Both of them hated this, because they just loved music, especially the early rock and roll songs. Many an evening, they'd put on a record, and just get down! But it had been a hot, dry summer, and their garden was doing very poorly.

Well, this was another hot, miserable day. Jack had the load of records on his back, and it wasn't long till he was
sweaty and thirsty. Lo and behold, he came upon a peddler,
who particularly loved the Motown sound. After looking through the record collection, he offered Jack some magic beans in trade. Jack, knowing he could get home and get a cool drink of water without the trouble of walking all the way to the village, accepted.

Of course, his mother was not pleased. Jack explained that the peddler assured him that the beans would grow clear up to the sky, where lots of treasure was kept by a giant.
There'd be plenty of money to replace the record collection, he assured his mother, and to add an irrigation system, too. Since she really didn't have a choice, she allowed Jack to plant the beans. To his credit, he tended the plants faithfully, and sure enough one of them grew so
tall they couldn't make out the top of it--it just disappeared into a haze of clouds.

They walked around the base of the plant, wondering whether to try the ascent. At length they decided Jack would give it a go. His mother went back in, to pack a bag with equipage for dealing with a giant. Jack came running in and said, "Mother, you don't need to pack that kind of a bag for me. There's no giant up there; Gladys Knight and the Pips are up there." His mother, knowing his gullibility, of course doubted this, so she asked how he
came by this knowledge. He replied, "I put my ear right up
against the stalk, and I heard it through the Great Vine".



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#16796 - 02/05/01 07:50 PM Re: More shaggy dogs
Geoff Offline
old hand

Registered: 11/12/00
Posts: 819
Loc: Portland,Oregon, USA
Gladys Knight and the Pips are up there.

Oh, silly me, I thought Jack was looking for some, er, uh, naughty stuff from Glad it's night and the Pimps.


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#16797 - 02/06/01 07:24 AM Re: More shaggy dogs
maverick Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 4757
the rest of us can just know we are operating on a lower plane

This is lower as in the Antipodean view of the universe's topography is it, Jackie? Otherwise I remain convinced that daggy stog shorries are humour's equivalent of Instant Fast Food in a packet - "just add humour"


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#16798 - 02/06/01 07:53 AM Re: More shaggy dogs
Jackie Offline

Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 03/15/00
Posts: 11609
Loc: Louisville, Kentucky
I remain convinced that daggy stog shorries are humour's equivalent of Instant Fast Food in a packet - "just add humour"

It wouldn't be fair for me to enter into a battle of wits
with an opponent who is unarmed.


(Thunch of banks to whoever posted that insult!)




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#16799 - 02/06/01 08:26 AM Re: More shaggy dogs
maverick Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 4757
an opponent who is unarmed

Unarmed combat works OK for the SAS, Green Berets,... [insert-vicious-thugs-of-choice-emoticon-(with-thanks-to-anna-wink)]

So you wanna fight? They'll hear you scream in the State Capital


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#16800 - 02/06/01 10:38 AM Re: More shaggy dogs
Jackie Offline

Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 03/15/00
Posts: 11609
Loc: Louisville, Kentucky
Unarmed combat

C? c? Oh, I see--For a minute there, mav, I thought you
said you were going to fight with an unarmed wombat.



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#16801 - 02/06/01 10:37 PM Re: More shaggy dogs
Geoff Offline
old hand

Registered: 11/12/00
Posts: 819
Loc: Portland,Oregon, USA
I thought you said you were going to fight with an unarmed wombat.

Is wombat a contraction/combination of woman and dingbat?


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