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#160926 - 07/12/06 11:59 AM UPS corporate-speak
AnnaStrophic Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 03/15/00
Posts: 6511
Loc: lower upstate New York
I was tracking a package on-line and came across this gem:

Quantum View™ is "a portfolio of visibility services designed to provide proactive status information about your UPS shipments. "

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#160927 - 07/12/06 01:38 PM Re: UPS corporate-speak
Aramis Offline
addict

Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 456
Loc: SE US
Sounds like a whole new paradigm. That should be worth twenty cents!
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#160928 - 07/12/06 02:02 PM Re: UPS corporate-speak
themilum Offline
veteran

Registered: 05/25/02
Posts: 1529
Loc: Aladamnbama the most watered s...
Quote:

I was tracking a package on-line and came across this gem:

Quantum View™ is "a portfolio of visibility services designed to provide proactive status information about your UPS shipments. "




The person who wrote this puffed-up tripe is to be pitied.
The UPS person who Oked this tripe for publication is to be pitied.
The person who thinks that he understands this fluff is to be pitied.

But most of all...

We are to be pitied. At a time when exact and direct information exchange is critical to the very continuation of our civilized existence our voices are being buried by such gobbledygook.

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#160929 - 07/12/06 02:21 PM Re: UPS corporate-speak
Zed Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 08/27/02
Posts: 2154
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Oh, come on. We had to think up some job for all the workers displaced by technology. What else is there for them to do?

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#160930 - 07/12/06 05:07 PM Re: UPS corporate-speak
Faldage Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/01/00
Posts: 13783
I like it. It's clear what it means and it flows poetically. Onliest reason you'd not like it is if you have some knee-jerk reaction hardwired in to your language reception optico-sensory input mental cortex subsystem.

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#160931 - 07/15/06 08:33 AM Re: UPS corporate-speak
themilum Offline
veteran

Registered: 05/25/02
Posts: 1529
Loc: Aladamnbama the most watered s...
Quote:

I like it. It's clear what it means and it flows poetically. Onliest reason you'd not like it is if you have some knee-jerk reaction hardwired in to your language reception optico-sensory input mental cortex subsystem.



I beg your pardon. My language reception optico-sensory input mental cortex subsystem is not hardwired to my knees. My language reception optico-sensory input mental cortex subsystem is hardwired to my heart which jerks and breaks each time you see fit to defend the corruption of the English language.

May God save the King's english before he saves the King!

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#160932 - 07/15/06 10:38 AM Re: bourbon dictionary
zmjezhd Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 08/13/05
Posts: 3286
Loc: R'lyeh
King's english

Stop corrupting the Queen's English!
_________________________
Ceci n'est pas un seing.

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#160933 - 07/15/06 02:16 PM Re: bourbon dictionary
themilum Offline
veteran

Registered: 05/25/02
Posts: 1529
Loc: Aladamnbama the most watered s...
Quote:

King's english

Stop corrupting the Queen's English!



Get hip, zmjezhd, this is C21. The King's the Queen!

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#160934 - 07/15/06 02:35 PM Re: stump water lexicon
zmjezhd Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 08/13/05
Posts: 3286
Loc: R'lyeh
If by King's english, you mean the spin on the Queen's balls, I suppose you gotta pointy pointy.
_________________________
Ceci n'est pas un seing.

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#160935 - 07/15/06 03:45 PM Re: stump water lexicon
themilum Offline
veteran

Registered: 05/25/02
Posts: 1529
Loc: Aladamnbama the most watered s...
Quote:

If by King's english, you mean the spin on the Queen's balls, I suppose you gotta pointy pointy.



Pointy Birds
______________by Steve Martin - 1982

Pointy birds,
oh pointy pointy.
Anoint my head
anointy 'nointy.


As I said, zmjezhd, you are a quite the jiver, but the off-the-wall jive that you put down is oh so Twentieth Century.

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