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The participants (in alphabetical order):
AnnaStrophic, BelMarduk, Consuelo, Elizabeth Creith, inselpeter, Jackie, maverick, musick, Sparteye, TEd Remington, themilum, WhitmanO'Neill. Plus, of course, the real author.
The submissions (in SWAR order):
A) I never thought, back in the days when my mother would fussingly wash the streaks of sweat and dirt off my face, that my determination to win at all costs would ever get me more than the fleeting attention of one of my teammates' older brothers.
B) Long before women were burning their bras, and marching for equal rights, a small group of women were striking a blow for equality, one home run at a time.
C) Sure, if I had the opportunity to do it all over again, I'd do it in exactly the same way -- well, except for one thing.
D) "Dreamer."
E) Sliding spike-high into first after a pick-off attempt wasn't really a routine play, but those lovely bare legs were such tempting targets, and bled so easily.
F) "Stupid Major League equipment rules!", Karen snorted to herself in irritation as she struggled to wear the athletic supporter.
G) The train conductor entered the bar car calling out "Next stop, Chicago".
H) The ball seemed to be hanging against the azure sky, impossibly far yet as threatening as a comet, like the whole promise of her life coming rushing towards her – and as if from the echoing passage of her far-off childhood she could hear her dad yelling “CATCH it Bunny! Catch it!”
I) Timothy Michael Curry, known to baseball statistics as T. M. Curry and to his old teammates as Curry Powder, or just plain Powder, sat on the barren bleachers and wiped the sweat off his neck.
J) At age thirteen little Olga Wilhite, tall and strong and quick of eye and reflex, did not sell her soul to the devil as had her famous great-uncle, Cy Slocum, a six hundred game winner with a 0.92 earned run average for a five year period with the Saint Louis Browns - no, pretty little Olga Wilhite sold her sweet little soul to a modern day demon that was much worse.
K) The count was three balls and two strikes, and with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning the St. Louis Trojans were down seven to five in this the very first game of the season.
L) He's gonna throw at me, said "Baby" Ruth McGonigal to herself as the pitcher went into his windup, I know 'cause most of them do that even when they know the umpire's watching for it.
M) It was a perfect day for a game, but then, it was always a perfect day for a game.
The usual week to choose. Name change from a suggestion from one of the submitters.
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The H you say. Or at least I do.
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formerly known as etaoin...
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I thank you, Spart-eye, I think that I and you are destined to be praised for voting for I. 
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I liked the simplicity and promise of G, too - but since eta's already on that base I'll run to M. There's a great team on the field! Thanks again to my favorite mentor for all matters baseball
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D. Short and sweet. The next phrase would have to be, "That's what they used to call me".
********************************************************
This is a lot of fun. Thanks, Faldage.
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yep, that was tempting me too, J. on the other hand, there are some cunning dogs out there...!
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D is tempting, but I'm leaning towards L or M, at the moment. I'll get back to you within less than half a fortnight.
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There are so many good possibilities! I like some of the longer ones, but they seem too long to be the opening sentence of a novel (I'm assuming this is a novel?). "Dreamer" is tempting for that very reason. But I think I'll choose one nobody's mentioned yet: B.
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Good choice, DaI!  talking of dai, allow a brief digression, Fong? This seemed a good context to bring to the multitudinous attention a fun thing from the Beeb: The competition is: write a happy ending in EXACTLY one hundred words (no more, no less!) including the following seven words selected by Alexander McCall-Smith:
wistful, moon, better, unlikely, happily, ever, after.and so back to the game, where the scores are tied in the...
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I like the succint "G". It doesn't make too many overtures to the plot. The other entries are quite funny though.
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I'll take C .
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I guess it'll have to be G . Fun!
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Quote:
D. Short and sweet. The next phrase would have to be, "That's what they used to call me".
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It dosen't matter what they used to call you, Jackie, being short is perfectly acceptable as long as you are sweet.
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This is fun. For me too. Thanks for your votes Kelly123 and Marianna. Everyone is welcome. Here it is only one day and everyone of the contributors except two have voted. Glad to see non-contributors voting, so keep those votes coming.
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> everyone of the contributors except two have voted
~ so should we take a guess at who-posted-what before the curtain is swept away...?!
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Quote:
> everyone of the contributors except two have voted
~ so should we take a guess at who-posted-what before the curtain is swept away...?!
Great idea, Maverick, but since six open liners were contribuited by Awaders of the female pursuasion and six other open liners were written by those who have persuations that are more pointly male, it follows that we can therefore determine the sexual circumstance of the real author of the She's On First "open liner" by sexual delimitation of the thirteen "open liners" by the process of elimination.
I'm good at this so I'll go first...
___________________________________________________________________
AnnaStrophic, BelMarduk, Consuelo, Elizabeth Creith, inselpeter, Jackie, maverick, musick, Sparteye, TEd Remington, themilum, WhitmanO'Neill. Plus, of course, the real author.
___________________________________________________________________
A) I never thought, back in the days when my mother would fussingly wash the streaks of sweat and dirt off my face, that my determination to win at all costs would ever get me more than the fleeting attention of one of my teammates' older brothers. FEMALE
B) Long before women were burning their bras, and marching for equal rights, a small group of women were striking a blow for equality, one home run at a time. FEMALE
C) Sure, if I had the opportunity to do it all over again, I'd do it in exactly the same way -- well, except for one thing. FEMALE
D) "Dreamer." FEMALE
E) Sliding spike-high into first after a pick-off attempt wasn't really a routine play, but those lovely bare legs were such tempting targets, and bled so easily. BRUTE
F) "Stupid Major League equipment rules!", Karen snorted to herself in irritation as she struggled to wear the athletic supporter. MALE
G) The train conductor entered the bar car calling out "Next stop, Chicago". FEMALE
H) The ball seemed to be hanging against the azure sky, impossibly far yet as threatening as a comet, like the whole promise of her life coming rushing towards her – and as if from the echoing passage of her far-off childhood she could hear her dad yelling “CATCH it Bunny! Catch it!” FEMALE
I) Timothy Michael Curry, known to baseball statistics as T. M. Curry and to his old teammates as Curry Powder, or just plain Powder, sat on the barren bleachers and wiped the sweat off his neck. MALE
J) At age thirteen little Olga Wilhite, tall and strong and quick of eye and reflex, did not sell her soul to the devil as had her famous great-uncle, Cy Slocum, a six hundred game winner with a 0.92 earned run average for a five year period with the Saint Louis Browns - no, pretty little Olga Wilhite sold her sweet little soul to a modern day demon that was much worse. MALE
K) The count was three balls and two strikes, and with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning the St. Louis Trojans were down seven to five in this the very first game of the season. MALE
L) He's gonna throw at me, said "Baby" Ruth McGonigal to herself as the pitcher went into his windup, I know 'cause most of them do that even when they know the umpire's watching for it. MISTREATED FEMALE
M) It was a perfect day for a game, but then, it was always a perfect day for a game. MALE
___________________________________________________________________
Ah ha! Seven out of thirteen...conclusive proof!
The writer of the book She's ON First is a woman.
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Do you get points if a might-have-been votes for your entry?
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I might have been mistaken when I guessed which one was bona fide.
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Glad to see non-contributors voting,
I failed to understand that non-contributors were welcome to guess. Silly me.
I vote for B as in baseball.
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Quote:
Glad to see non-contributors voting,
I failed to understand that non-contributors were welcome to guess. Silly me.
I should have stated that explicitly right up front. I just assumed it from the fact that non-contributors' votes were always accepted in HogWash®. The only question is whether their votes count as much as contributors' votes. Since I'm setting the precedent here (FWTW) I'm saying they count equally.
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OR says D; but what novelist ever used OR? (this is actually not just a rhetorical question.)
one or two others read like entries to B-L. (It was a dark and stormy day for a ballgame... : )
I like G, I and M...
I like I and M a bit more..
I can't decide, and since the points (probly) don't matter, I cast .500 vote for each of M and I. (wouldn't want a tie on the first game would we?)
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> I cast .500 vote for each of M and I. it was a dark and stormy can 'o worms... 
formerly known as etaoin...
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Me too, I just figured it worked the same way as Hogwash... sorry if I shocked anyjuan. And thanks for the precedent, Faldage!
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I'm just getting up to speed on the board and would have loved to contribute. My opening may have been something like "Mudville's got nothin' on me." An obvious fake, but it was the first thought.
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>>"Mudville's got nothin' on me."
Might-a bought my vote!
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Yo, Casey (I mean, Kelly)! I hope there will be many more Fibliotheques. And Hogwashes. I look forward to your contributions to both (and any other games that may arise).
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anyjuan Heyyyy!...an A+ for originality there, Marianna! 
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Who you talkin to, IP? tsuwm?
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formerly known as etaoin...
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Quote:
OR says D; but what novelist ever used OR? (this is actually not just a rhetorical question.)
one or two others read like entries to B-L. (It was a dark and stormy day for a ballgame... : )
I like G, I and M...
I like I and M a bit more..
I can't decide, and since the points (probly) don't matter, I cast .500 vote for each of M and I. (wouldn't want a tie on the first game would we?)
Hmmm. Gonna hafta run this one past the roolz committee.
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Sorry, tsuwm. Roolz Committee says it's a dangerous precedent. Ya gots ta git off the fence.
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Let's see if I have the touch of death in this Game too, shall we?
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Might-a bought my vote! Mine, too--I live in Mudville!
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Good to hear from you, Max. Would have liked to have had a submission from you but.
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grats on the CT, Muse...
formerly known as etaoin...
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Quote:
Good to hear from you, Max. Would have liked to have had a submission from you but.
Sadly, that would require gene therapy - to imbue me with something that could, in a dark room at midnight, be mistaken for a rough facsimile of creativity.
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Quote:
Quote:
Good to hear from you, Max. Would have liked to have had a submission from you but.
Sadly, that would require gene therapy - to imbue me with something that could, in a dark room at midnight, be mistaken for a rough facsimile of creativity.
Is it midnight already?
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Why? You want an unfair advantage?
TEd
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Quote:
Why? You want an unfair advantage?
Doesn't everyone? Wasn't that the whole point of Strauss's masterwork - The selfish Jean?
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Well, irregardless of all that or not, we await but the fair goaler, BelM. I'll drop her a PM; she seems to have forgotten this thread exists.
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No, no, haven't forgotten. But dang you guys, I thought it'd be easier to choose a real first line from a book than it is to choose a real definition. I've been having trouble making up my mind.  O.k., I choose M. I love playing baseball, so I know exactly what the writer of that sentence meant - The Charlie Brown in me feels that it's always a good day for baseball, even if the winds are gusting and the clouds are looming darkly overhead.
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hehheh, I suspect Sparteye is marvellously happy!
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Quote:
Sorry, tsuwm. Roolz Committee says it's a dangerous precedent. Ya gots ta git off the fence.
from one RC to another, I say throw the bum's vote out altogether!
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Quote:
Good choice, DaI!
talking of dai, allow a brief digression, Fong? This seemed a good context to bring to the multitudinous attention a fun thing from the Beeb:
The competition is: write a happy ending in EXACTLY one hundred words (no more, no less!) including the following seven words selected by Alexander McCall-Smith:
wistful, moon, better, unlikely, happily, ever, after.
and so back to the game, where the scores are tied in the...
Hey Maverick, I'm trying. Just 37 more words to shave before the deadline.
... it was not for riches that Leon Bottoms souped up his bass boat and begun running guns to rebels in Belize. Leon wasn't thought to be a prize by the ladies and he needed the loot to encourage women to be picked up.
Then Katrina, one-hell-of-a-woman, picked up Leon, guns, and bass boat, and deposited them upside down on an upside down coral reef.
Strange island. The scrub plants there grew berries on the bottom and roots on the top. Leon ate the hippie-looking berries and grew fat.
Then one day a mermaid walked by. She was ugly. Unlike regular mermaids she was human on the bottom and fish on the top. Ugh, decided Leon, I could never kiss a woman who looks like a sea bass!
Leon watched wistfully as the unlikely mermaid frolicked in the shallow bay, diving sea-bass-top first until only her slim waist and curvaceous hips and the wonderful moon of her bottom, and her long sun-tanned shapely legs, were visible above water.
Leon jumped in.
Men have met better fates,and of course, after a time Leon died and went to his fate in the great hereafter -- happily.
Last edited by themilum; 03/16/06 07:09 PM.
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Quote:
hehheh, I suspect Sparteye is marvellously happy!
You're beginning to make me worry, maverick. But maybe that's the game you're playing at. 
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> maybe that's the game you're playing at. I learnt it from milo minderbinder, purveyor of fine cotton and other flannel...
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Quote:
> maybe that's the game you're playing at.
I learnt it from milo minderbinder, purveyor of fine cotton and other flannel...
Chocolate covered cotton. Yum!
All seriousness aside, every one of the perps has voted now. I'll hold the polls open till some time Saturday for any stragglers and tsuwm to vote and then spring the results on y'all. If nothing else we'll see how well Milo's gender assignments panned out.
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If we don't like our gender assignments, can we change them?
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We'll straighten them all out come Saturday, Rock Island. I will say that Milo managed to get his own gender correct, but, considering his overall performance, that could have been by pure chance.
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Well, he got my gender correct, but then, it never really has been in question 
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Hey, Ginette...race you to Carpal Tunnel Vrrrrroooooom Vrrrrrrrroooooooom
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Quote:
We'll straighten them all out come Saturday, Rock Island. I will say that Milo managed to get his own gender correct, but, considering his overall performance, that could have been by pure chance.
lol
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What? Whom amongst you can testify absolutely to my biological gender? I absolutly sometimes can and absolutly sometimes can't. But no matter.
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> But no matter. then what are you made of?
formerly known as etaoin...
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Quote:
> But no matter.
then what are you made of?
Never mind.
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Quote:
Quote:
> But no matter.
then what are you made of?
Never mind.
I get it!
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Quote:
What? Whom amongst you can testify absolutely to my biological gender?
I absolutly sometimes can and absolutly sometimes can't.
But no matter.
Hey! Are you engendering us to contemplate the vagaries of your gender?...engendering gender-bender amenders, as it were?
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you know, WO'N, when I just glance at your avatar, it looks like a Star Wars stormtrooper...
formerly known as etaoin...
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Today's the day. I'll be posting results in a few hours. If you haven't voted and want to, now's the time.
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Pooh-Bah
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Oh my god! Oh my god! . . . Can I change my vote? Can I hide? Disgrace disgrace disgra . . . . !
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Six hours, huh? Well, Faldage, if you must temporize, I must evagationate... A) I never thought, back in the days when my mother would fussingly wash the streaks of sweat and dirt off my face, that my determination to win at all costs would ever get me more than the fleeting attention of one of my teammates' older brothers. Jackie ( not half bad, but only your mother would "fussingly wash" the streaks of sweat and dirt off your face)B) Long before women were burning their bras, and marching for equal rights, a small group of women were striking a blow for equality, one home run at a time. BelMarduk ( straightforward but with a moral)C) Sure, if I had the opportunity to do it all over again, I'd do it in exactly the same way -- well, except for one thing. Consuello (who reserves the right to change her mind at her whim)D) "Dreamer." AnnaStrophic (succinct, but with a certain cynical touch)G) The train conductor entered the bar car calling out "Next stop, Chicago". Sparteye ( who studied brevity, like Hemingway, "Up in Michigan")H) The ball seemed to be hanging against the azure sky, impossibly far yet as threatening as a comet, like the whole promise of her life coming rushing towards her – and as if from the echoing passage of her far-off childhood she could hear her dad yelling “CATCH it Bunny! Catch it!” Elizabeth Creith ( who can't resist writting a story in the opening line)L) He's gonna throw at me, said "Baby" Ruth McGonigal to herself as the pitcher went into his windup, I know 'cause most of them do that even when they know the umpire's watching for it. The female author of the book "She's On First"__________________________________________________________ Nice going gentlewomen, but too bad, the entry winner is a male and is... (M) It was a perfect day for a game, but then, it was always a perfect day for a game. MALEBetter luck in Fibliotheque, Game Two.
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If themilum learns to play better with others, then could he have his own avatar?
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that burns it; I unvote for M.
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The real answers (with Milo's guesses as to the sex of their perpetrators for your amusement and amazement) follow:
A) I never thought, back in the days when my mother would fussingly wash the streaks of sweat and dirt off my face, that my determination to win at all costs would ever get me more than the fleeting attention of one of my teammates' older brothers. <Jackie: musick> F
B) Long before women were burning their bras, and marching for equal rights, a small group of women were striking a blow for equality, one home run at a time. <BelMarduk: AnnaStrophic, Father Steve> F
C) Sure, if I had the opportunity to do it all over again, I'd do it in exactly the same way -- well, except for one thing. <AnnaStrophic: Elizabeth Creith, Alex Williams> F
D) "Dreamer." <inselpeter: Jackie> F
E) Sliding spike-high into first after a pick-off attempt wasn't really a routine play, but those lovely bare legs were such tempting targets, and bled so easily. <WhitmanO'Neill: > M
F) "Stupid Major League equipment rules!", Karen snorted to herself in irritation as she struggled to wear the athletic supporter. <Sparteye: > M
G) The train conductor entered the bar car calling out "Next stop, Chicago". <Consuelo: etaoin, Kelly123, Marianna, sjmaxq> F
H) The ball seemed to be hanging against the azure sky, impossibly far yet as threatening as a comet, like the whole promise of her life coming rushing towards her – and as if from the echoing passage of her far-off childhood she could hear her dad yelling “CATCH it Bunny! Catch it!” <maverick: TEd Remington, WhitmanONeill> F
I) Timothy Michael Curry, known to baseball statistics as T. M. Curry and to his old teammates as Curry Powder, or just plain Powder, sat on the barren bleachers and wiped the sweat off his neck. <Barbara Gregorich: Sparteye, themilum> M
J) At age thirteen little Olga Wilhite, tall and strong and quick of eye and reflex, did not sell her soul to the devil as had her famous great-uncle, Cy Slocum, a six hundred game winner with a 0.92 earned run average for a five year period with the Saint Louis Browns - no, pretty little Olga Wilhite sold her sweet little soul to a modern day demon that was much worse. <themilum: > M
K) The count was three balls and two strikes, and with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning the St. Louis Trojans were down seven to five in this the very first game of the season. <musick: Consuelo> M
L) He's gonna throw at me, said "Baby" Ruth McGonigal to herself as the pitcher went into his windup, I know 'cause most of them do that even when they know the umpire's watching for it. <TEd Remington: > F
M) It was a perfect day for a game, but then, it was always a perfect day for a game. <Elizabeth Creith: maverick, inselpeter, BelMarduk> M
You will note that, although Milo correctly guessed the sex of the real author, he did not correctly guess the sex of the writer of the correct line (although he and Sparteye were the only ones to correctly identify that line as being the correct line [and, as an additonal bonus, it allows me to say that he was one of the only correct answerers]).
The winner in the ha-ha-I-fooled-you category is Consuelo (with a special thanks to sjmaxq for putting her over the top). As previously noted Sparteye and themilum correctly guessed the real author, despite Milo's feeble attempt to provide cover for his nefarious plan to claim he had voted for the wrong choice about which he was equally wrong about the sex of.
This edition of Fibliotheque® has been brought to you by M&M Enterprises, purveyors of fine, chocolate covered, Egyptian cotton.
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RECOUNT! I demand a recount.
If you will note the post several above yours, Mr Faldage, themilum changed his vote to L, which happens to be my entry.
RECOUNT RECOUNT RECOUNT [/chant]
But I suppose you're gonna tell me there's no recounting for taste.
BTW, the book that was supposed to be sent to you turned up on my doorstep. Come Monday it'll be all right. Come Monday I'll be holding it tight (as I walk up to the PO to drop it in the mail to you.)
Last edited by TEd Remington; 03/18/06 05:08 PM.
TEd
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That was really fun, even if nobody wanted to vote for mine just because they liked the joke. I didn't expect to fool anybody into thinking it was the real opening line, but I had hoped for amusement votes. :-/
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Pooh-Bah
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Er, did you say the correct answer was J? I think that's what you said.
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Quote:
RECOUNT! I demand a recount.
If you will note the post several above yours, Mr Faldage, themilum changed his vote to L, which happens to be my entry.
A) No changes allowed. The Roolz Committee has outlawed them
but
2) Technically, he didn't attual® change his vote; he merely said that that was the right answer.
And he was wrong.
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my abject apologies to EC for costing her [strikethrough].500[/strikethrough] 1.000 vote in my pique of low dudgeon; and also my profuse plea for longanimity from the actual author, Barbara Gregorich, who couldn't possibly care less that I illegally cast .500 vote for her most excellent opening pitch, which (by default) I illegally changed to 1.000 vote, notwithstanding.
edit: BTW, thanks for that, Faldage.
Last edited by tsuwm; 03/18/06 06:55 PM.
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you know, WO'N, when I just glance at your avatar, it looks like a Star Wars stormtrooper...
Well, eta, askually that's Walt Whitman with his young nieces and nephews.
Is it the peyote or psilocybin?
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E) Sliding spike-high into first after a pick-off attempt wasn't really a routine play, but those lovely bare legs were such tempting targets, and bled so easily. BRUTE --Milo
Oh, come on, Milo, I was just imagining how Ty Cobb would've welcomed a young lady to the customs of life in the Big leagues. 'Course, uh, I guess 'Bama Boys played the game a lot more mannerly than the Georgia Peach, huh? 
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> Is it the peyote or psilocybin? hard cider!!
formerly known as etaoin...
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Pooh-Bah
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Gotta say, if I were browsing potential reading, I'd have a tough time with that opener. Tschja, ja.
Last edited by inselpeter; 03/18/06 08:41 PM.
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> I'd have a tough time with that opener.
I know! Tim Curry? is she serious?
formerly known as etaoin...
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Congrats to Connie as well as to Elizabeth, who ran a close second.
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Yee-hoo! I got two votes. I got two votes. Yay! Very excited!!
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Well done Connie and indeed all others whatever your vote hauls. I was surprised and delighted to see my own concoction had not only snared two American male afficionados of the game, but had deluded Milo as to the gender of the authorial voice - LLOL! So, thanks again Faldo - a really fun game - it only remains to ask if the rest of the book is as dire as that opening line?!
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Long before women were burning their bras, and marching for equal rights, a small group of women were striking a blow for equality, one home run at a time.
Somebody oughta write a book that starts with this sentence. Many people buy books based on the first sentence of the first chapter, second only to those who buy a book based on its title.
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Overheard in the locker room after the opening game of the season... "Say Bro, did you catch the news that the themilum picked five out of six of the sexual proclivities of the Fibliotheque players and even picked the correct opening liner?" "Right on, Brother, like they say, Bo and Faldage may know baseball; but the themilum knows opening liners and women." "I heard that!"
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> five out of six who does your counting, Diebold?
formerly known as etaoin...
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Quote:
G) The train conductor entered the bar car calling out "Next stop, Chicago".
Sparteye ( who studied brevity, like Hemingway, "Up in Michigan")
Hey, Milo, you got that mostly right. Remember, I, too, am a Michigan female and I grew up not far from the locale of "Up In Michigan". 
Thanks for the votes, folks. I will always treasure being the very first winner of Fiblioteque. [taking a bow-e]
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Quote:
> five out of six
who does your counting, Diebold?
Now, now, etaoin, I don't mean to impinge your sophistication but perhaps you should stick to voting TV people off islands.
Fibliotheque, you see, is not American Idol, etaoin, Fibliotheque is a Republic. You know, like the United States elections?
No matter the recount, "quality" is what counts, and Connie will forevermore be known as the winner of the very first Fibliotheque and I will always be remembered as her running mate.
And all your wailing and gnashing of teeth won't cancel a single line of it.
Last edited by themilum; 03/19/06 01:45 PM.
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Tsuwm, no apologies necessary. I'm tickled to have fooled you at all, even briefly. This was a fun game - including watching milo smugly get me completely wrong. When's the next round?
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Quote:
Long before women were burning their bras, and marching for equal rights, a small group of women were striking a blow for equality, one home run at a time.
Somebody oughta write a book that starts with this sentence. Many people buy books based on the first sentence of the first chapter, second only to those who buy a book based on its title.
Father Steve, you've absolutely made my day. Thank you.
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Quote:
When's the next round?
Yeah! Who's on second? I had a ball being Fibliotechnician; I want my chance to submit a first line.
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I can do it. Give me a chance to flip through some books tonight. I have an idea of which one I want. I think it'll make for a good game. One question...do I have to use all those highfalutin words like score, sennight and fortnight, or can I just say, "gimme your opening sentences in eight days or the jig’s up" ?
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Quote:
One question...do I have to use all those highfalutin words like score, sennight and fortnight, or can I just say, "gimme your opening sentences in eight days or the jig?s up" ?
Diversity is the jam on the bread of this board.
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> Diversity is the jam on the bread of this board.
and we'll stick to that in the trenches...
formerly known as etaoin...
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>> Diversity is the jam on the bread of this board. (italics mine)
So, what you're saying is that, um, we're fruity?
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