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20. 7 D N - if so… - 7 DRUNKEN NIGHTS IF SO...
21. …J S 1 O F and 3 H M - JUST SAY 1 OUR FATHER AND 3 HAIL MARY'S
they're a pair, as noted by the ellipses (I guess).
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Carpal Tunnel
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Ellipses?.... So I went straight from genius down to nitwit. Alas,for a short lived glory.
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Howye fokes! How is things?
Lissen, us Teds is fierce sorry about the typen error what should, a course, have been 4 legs good, 2 legs bad. Poor Albear Camoo is so ashameda himself that he's run away from home fer ta join the Legionbears. We've a long night a worry ahed a us fer sure.
Well, what can I say cept that at tragic times like this we'll be lashen out the 1 Our Father and 3 Hail Mary's fer our troubles. Ya see, as I pinted out in me intro a week or so back, some a the questions were cultural and the above remedy applies ta most woes round hear.
So I hope that puts a eclipse on the ellipse cos them dots was just a link fer ta help ya with the next question and there was nothin fancy smancy intinded.
Have ta go now and rescue me little pal before drownden in the New Year.
Be seein ya
GT
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Howye fokes! How is things? Lissen, tucks a ye have been writen in bursten ta know how MadDogTed got himself thrung back in ta Borstal fer Bold Bears fer ta avoid payen all his mounten dets. Ya see, this was a fierce tricky feet fer him ta pull off fer sure, cos if the innocint little fella was caught re-committen any a his old crimes again, the Judge swore that he’d throw away the key and me little pal would be locked away fer good.
So MadDogTed had ta come up with a new crime fer ta committ fer ta be committed, but after days and nights a sitten beyont in Slasher’s thinken and drinken he couldn’t come up with nothin. Well, on the fifth day Mr Slasher’s Aunt Maud offered fer ta wash his thinken-cap fer him, cos at this stage it was mank from the mush that me poor little pal’s brain had turned inta with alla the pointless ponderen.
Anyways, while they was waiten fer it ta dry out, Auntie Maud was tellen MadDogTed about the grate book she was readen on the Lives a the Saints and how alla the Saints are now big inta the internet and that they do be sellen miricles on ebay and everythin. Well, MadDogTed had no spare cash fer ta be buyen miricles offa the internet so he mooched dejectedly back ta the drawen board. But then, didn’t he spot this drawen pin gleemen at him.
And fokes, it was then that he mirically seen the light and came up with one a his best plans ever. He took a few photysnaps a the drawen pin and stook it on ebay fer ta sell, claimen that it was the very pin what St Bridget herself used fer ta hang up the very furst St Bridget’s Cross on the very Gates a Heaven themselves. A course, he knew well that when St Bridget was doen a spotta saintly surfen she’d spot that this was a proper scam alltagather, so me wily little pal just sat back and waited fer the consequenses.
And sure enuff, a few days later the Judge done him fer the new crime a tacks fraud.
Be seein ya
GallantTed
Last edited by GallantTed; 01/31/07 11:07 PM.
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 --  --  -- --  G.Ted, You see, this is the only real serious thread here.Hi Ted, I took some of the load of the puppet's faces off and add that various friends and family will enjoy the email of Bridgets 's heavenly mediation between MadDog and fate.
Last edited by BranShea; 01/29/07 08:55 AM.
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Sorry I have to make a twin post again , but it suddenly dawns on me considering MadDogTed's lifestyle, that there could be a connection between the saviour of William the Conquerer and MDT. Don't know yet how, but sure a lot the unemployed bards and story-tellers must have crossed the Irish sea.
Last edited by BranShea; 01/29/07 10:11 AM.
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Howye fokes! How is things? Isn’t that global warmen lark just terrable alltagather? We’re all goen ta fry, I'll tell ya. Ya see, the temperature is risen cos a alla them greenhouse gasses, and there’s a big huge hole in the ozone layer, and soon the earth will be roasten alltagather and the seas will be risen and we’re all goen ta be drownded in our beds.
And the worst thing is that fer years everyone blamed the carbon dioxide emmissions from alla them big huge cars fer the catastrafee. But the grate news, brought ta ya exclusively by Ted, is that ya can hould onta yer SUV Missus, cos all along it was the cows what was doen the damage. Ya see, methane is one a the main greenhouse gasses, and after a good feed a the grass doesn’t the cattle beyont in the field be emmitten fierce amounts a this silent but violint gas in ta the unsuspecten atmosphere. And then, alla this wind gets trapped inta the stratasphere and it gets fierce windy alltagather and storms do be bellowen up all over the place. Or somethin like that.
Anyways, the bottom line is that as worldly citizins of Mammy Earth, we’re all goen ta have ta think offa a way ta get them cows ta change their diets. Chicken nuggets might be an option, but with the loomen threat a the bird flu and and the fact that some a them bovine types are fierce fussy eaters alltagather, this may not be the best solution. Ya could always insist that they take a couple a antiacid tablets after each grassy meal, but as the have four stomachs a piece this might prove ta be fierce costly alltagather. And besides, I know meself that some cows don’t like ta be doen the drugs.
A course, I meself think the best option is ta make good use a alla them idle bull bars on yer four wheel drives and just go in and plough the lot a them mooey windbags away. Then ya’d really be doen somethin ta help the enviromint.
Be seein ya
GallantTed
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Gee! G-Ted That's is a serious kind of a shock you gave yesterday. Kept me real puzzling these two days. For two years I thought I'd done the right thing giving my car to my son's family and taking the bike. With good bikebags that 's easy to do on a daily basis and it's good for the environment, the fresh air and the heartbeat in general. So I thought.  But for the heavier loads and two years older I was just thinking about finding me an oxen-cart I could parc on a little piece of suburb land. Now you are condemning the cow ! The bovines ! So what do I do now? A donkey ? Goat ? Don't think so ..... if you are quite quite sure about your discovery. Rabbits? Two dozen or so? Nay, all grass eaters........  Leaves me the DOG . (big one)  But I'm not to fond of dogs as a pet and dogs are as sacred in this overpopulated country as Zeeboos in India. I would be lynched if they caught me with a dog pulling a cart. You' ve put me in a precarious position, cause there's another little problem. I love cows. 
Last edited by BranShea; 02/09/07 04:14 PM.
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Many folks don't realize it, but in King Arthur's time quests for the holy grail were not actually the sole province of men. This is the obscure story of Lady Pamela, who grabbed sexism by the horns and cast it down.
As he got older, Arthur had realized that he was having a difficult time keeping track of which knights were out on a quest and which had signed themselves onto the waiting list. So he had a scroll created to remind him. One fine day he learned that Sir Humphrey, his most impecunious knight, was in a peck of trouble. Sir Humphrey could not afford a charger, Dodge or otherwise), and got around the country on a cart pulled by a goat, hence he was popularly known as Sir Humphrey Goatcart.
Humphrey, it seems, had been captured by a fierce and immortal dragon which had wounded him grievously and then confined him to the nether reaches of a cave. The dragon intended to slow roast Sir Humphrey the next time hunger pangs struck. So Arthur called for the keep of the scroll.
"Who is the next knight signed up for a quest?" asked the good King. Upon being told that the next name on the list was actually that of Lady Pamela, he called her into the royal presence.
"Pray explain to me," thundered Arthur, "why your name appears on this scroll."
"Because, Your Magesty, I believe that women can do everything that men can do and I seek to prove it," replied the bold Lady Pamela. After pondering, the King decided to let her go on the quest, perhaps believing that the dragon would take care of this upstart woman.
So Lady Pamela put on her fe-mail and strapped on her trusty sword and set out from Camelot. She soon found the lair of the dragon, chopped off its head, and entered the cave, where she started to bind up Sir Humprey's wounds. Sir Humphrey looked over her shoulder and saw that the dragon had regenerated its head and was ready to pounce upon the woman who was tenderly nursing his wounds. This caused Sir Humphrey to utter those immortal words, "Slay it again, Pam."
TEd
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Howye fokes! How is things? Lissen, it looks as if I stepped on a few sensitive hooves last week when I wrote about how the eaten habits a them cows is responsible fer the global warmen:
Dear Mr. Ted,
Upon reading your ominous comments of last week blaming the cataclysm that is global warming on the unpresumptuous cow, the girls and I had no choice but to call an emergency meeting in the back field whence we passed a motion behooooving us to write to you forthwith, expressing our downright vexation at your uncavalier attitude towards our wholesome eating habits.
“What’s the beef?” “How cud he?” “He’s reached an all time loooow”, I’ll be in a bad moooood all week, now”, “What has he dung?” were just some of the pronouncement which bellowed from from the quivering maws of my deeply wounded companions.
Mr. Ted, although against my cultivated principles, it behooooves me looower myself and remind you of the numerous times we girls had to hastily hoof it up the hills, lest we prematurely expired from the stiffling after-effects of those curried-beans and porter suppers that you and your ursine cohorts seem so fond of. What can I say, Mr. Ted, save that you are an indubitable and unequivocal farce.
Yours sincerely
Miss Harriet Heffer
Dear Miss Heffer
And what can I say, cept that there’s enuff hot air and gas in that most long-windedness a letters fer ta melt at least haff a dozen ice caps and still have enuff steem left over fer ta blow a other hole in the ozone layer. As fer yer passen motions in the back field – too much infermation, Missus, too much infermation.
Be seein ya
GallantTed
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