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#108520 07/23/03 02:18 AM
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got this from my sister...

This is one of those Washington Post contests, this one being to
combine the works of two authors and to supply a description of the merged book.

the thought is we can use these for starters, and then come up with our own. anyone game?




Machiavelli's The Little Prince
Antoine de Saint-Exupery's classic children's tale as presented by
Machiavelli. The whimsy of human nature is embodied in many delightful
and intriguing characters, all of whom are executed.

Green Eggs and Hamlet
Would you kill him in his bed?
Thrust a dagger through his head?

I would not, could not, kill the King.
I could not do that evl thing.

I would not wed this girl, you see.
Now get her to a nunnery.


Of Three Blind Mice and Men
Burgess Meredith has his limbs hacked off by a psychopathic farmer's
wife. Did you ever see such a sight in your life?

The Exorstentialist
Camus' psychological thriller about a priest who casts out a demon by
convincing it that there's really no purpose to what it's doing.

Catch-22 in the Rye
Holden learns that if you're insane, you'll probably flunk out of prep
school, but if you're flunking out of prep school, you're probably not
insane.

2001: A Space Iliad
The Hal 9000 computer wages an insane 10-year war against the Greeks
after falling victim to the Y2K bug.

Rikki-Kon-Tiki-Tavi
Thor Heyerdahl recounts his attempt to prove Rudyard Kipling's theory
that the mongoose first came to India on a raft from Polynesia.

The Maltese Faulkner
Is the black bird a tortured symbol of Sam's struggles with race and
family? Does it signify his decay of soul along with the soul of the
Old South? Is it merely a crow, mocking his attempts to understand? Or
is it worth a cool mil?

Jane Eyre Jordan
Plucky English orphan girl survives hardships to lead the Chicago Bulls
to the NBA championship.

Looking for Mr. Godot
A young woman waits for Mr. Right to enter her life. She has a loooong
wait.

Lorna Dune
An English farmer, Paul Atreides, falls for the daughter of a notorious
rival clan, the Harkonnens, and pursues a career as a giant worm jockey
in order to impress her.

The Remains of the Day of the Jackal
A formal English butler puts his loyalty to his employer above all
else, until he is persuaded to join a plot to assassinate Charles de
Gaulle.

The Invisible Man of La Mancha
Don Quixote discovers a mysterious elixir, which renders him invisible.
He proceeds to go on a mad rampage of corruption and terror, attacking
innocent people in the streets and all the while singing "To Fight the
Invisible Man!" until he is finally stopped by a windmill.

Paradise Lost in Space
Satan, Moloch, and Belial are sentenced to spend eternity in a flying
saucer with a goofy robot, an evil scientist, and two annoying children.



formerly known as etaoin...
#108521 07/23/03 03:29 AM
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Iva'hoe In the Heat of the Night

self-explanatory




#108522 07/23/03 04:02 AM
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now there's an auspicious beginning!



formerly known as etaoin...
#108523 07/23/03 12:17 PM
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Picture of Dorian Llareggub

This is no Faustian, bargain buggered portrait-self, beneath the deep dark, darkly darkling woods. Delusive deluded murderous blind sea-captain Dorian, hair streaming in the streaming air, stair surmounting, agitatedly viewing his aging exchanging. Final relief release resides in self-turning knife-tearing death, all in a wyrdly Welsh dreamt of, dreaming, drowned sea-cockled village peopled with urgent look at me brief, bright lives.

Huckleberry of Notre Dame

The unlikely adventures of an even less likely lad escaping from an abusive father in 19th century France. Afloat on the Loire he meets up with Ali, a bent-backed Algerian refugee who’s been dealing in rugs and bags illegally imported from Africa. Together with a king and a duke they learn to live off the country and campanology. While bell ringing at various chateaux Ali falls in love with an impossibly beautiful soubrette who joins him in a life of coconut shell selling on the beaches of Les Sables-d’Olonne. The ending is both tragic and triumphant.




#108524 07/23/03 10:28 PM
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Moby Dick Turpin

In which, sick of stumping around on an ivory leg, Ahab takes up the noble arts of the highwayman, thus giving rise to many deep tails.


#108525 07/23/03 10:33 PM
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Mr Norris Changes Trainspotting

In which a vivid picture of a drug-crazed Glasgow in the period before Hitler highlights the confused sexuality of the protagonists...


#108526 07/23/03 10:37 PM
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Hey, Jude the Obscure

In which the deeply tragic tale of displaced and dispossessed post-industrial humanity is rendered in a compact 4:4 epiphany of tritely ryming schmaltz by Sir Paul 'I was the real genius' McCartney...


#108527 07/23/03 10:51 PM
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The Road to Wigan Piers Plowman

It’s the late 14th century in the north of England, and there’s trouble at t’mill in this epic poem newly translated by Eric Blah…

Then began I to dream a marvellous dream,
That I was in a wilderness wist I not where.
As I looked to the east right into the sun,
I saw a monstrous scenery of slag-heaps,
Piled scrap-iron, foul canals, and paths of cindery mud,
A deep dale beneath, criss-crossed by the prints of clogs…



#108528 07/23/03 11:23 PM
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The Count of Monte Hall

Edmund Dantes, dressed as a ragged and forlorn prisoner, is ready to Make a Deal with anyone to get him off the Chateau d'If.


#108529 07/24/03 02:24 AM
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20,000 Leagues Under Milkwood

Whereby a Welsh maverick bores far beneath a coastal town in his research vessel, The Ambiguous Platypus, as a sort of Dylan Thomasonian-Nemo, exploring the depths of all possible worlds in the drippy-soggy-ocean-seeping-soil-of-darkness, sans hyphens if you like.


#108530 07/24/03 05:25 AM
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Beyond the Valley of the Malls

yet another tale of a drug-crazed generation gone to shopping, everyone.


#108531 07/24/03 03:11 PM
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The Cider House Rules the Grapes of Wrath

Reeling from a stunning fruit-fight defeat, European vinifera hoodlums swear revenge against Washington State. "Oranges, schmoranges," one victorious Apple snorts, when asked to compare opponents.


#108532 07/25/03 02:32 PM
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The Lion in Winter of Our Discontent

An English's king spend the winter in Sag Harbor, and ponder the meaning of life and importance of family ties, while drinking too much.


#108533 07/26/03 02:24 AM
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One Flew Over The Still Life With A Woodpecker's Nest

An inmate escapes from an insane asylum pursued by a psycho nurse only to find himself balancing on the pedestal of the pyramid on a pack of Camels, barking at the moon and wondering how to make love last. What's the mystery?
Madeline Kahn sings the soundtrack in MY mind


#108534 07/26/03 06:30 PM
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Stuart Little Women
an endearing story of a family of youn mice living and coming of age in NE during the american civil war.

i never read Stuart Little, the little i know about it is form tv commercials for the movie.
Edited, as per sjmaxq, mea culpa!


#108535 07/26/03 08:27 PM
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AAAARGH!! That's STUART Little, tyvm.


#108536 07/26/03 09:15 PM
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I didn't see Helen's original version, but just guessin', wozzit Steward or sumptin'? [nonchalent whistle]

The House on the Strand Dunes

Herbert Du Maurier's classic tale of Dick Young, taking drugs and escaping the dolours of married life in crazy trips chasing worms...


#108537 07/26/03 10:57 PM
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>I didn't see Helen's original version, but just guessin', wozzit Steward or sumptin'? [nonchalant whistle]


When was the last time you heard a chalant whistle?




#108538 07/26/03 11:20 PM
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a chalant whistle

A chalant whistle is one that is trying just a little to hard to be nonchalant.


#108539 07/26/03 11:31 PM
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a chalant whistle

is commonly heard on old-fashioned steam kettles :)


and to keep the thread on track:

Oscar and Lucia di Lammermoor

Lord Enrico Ashton is outraged to find that his sister Lucia is in love with his mortal enemy, Sir Oscar Hopkins ~ on a slow boat to Australia their lives are changed forever....


#108540 07/27/03 02:20 AM
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The Man Who Would Be King and I

a farcical comedy, about some former english sargants who set off on an asian adventure, intending to become kings, and the gold-digging english tutor who chases after them.


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