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#103395 - 05/15/03 06:56 PM Another one of those e-mails
Jackie Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 03/15/00
Posts: 11605
Loc: Louisville, Kentucky
In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. They're used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

Here are 13 actual error messages from Japan......


The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
-------------------------
Chaos reigns within,
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
--------------------------
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
--------------------------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
--------------------------
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
--------------------------
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
--------------------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
--------------------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
--------------------------
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which one has occurred.
--------------------------
You step into the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
--------------------------
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
--------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
--------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.


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#103396 - 05/15/03 07:38 PM Re: Another one of those e-mails
Buffalo Shrdlu Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 06/24/02
Posts: 7210
Loc: Vermont
Microsoft error messages

must resist temptation...


_________________________
formerly known as etaoin...

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#103397 - 05/15/03 11:07 PM Re: Another one of those e-mails
WhitmanO'Neill Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/01
Posts: 4189
Loc: Rio Grande, Cape May County, N...
must resist temptation...

Why?




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#103398 - 05/16/03 05:02 AM Re: Another one of those e-mails
Capfka Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 06/28/02
Posts: 1624
Loc: Utter Placebo, Planet Reebok
"Microsoft" is actually an ancient Navajo word for "what follows contains countless undocumented errors". Hence, Microsoft Windows, Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft Visual Basic, Microsoft .NET, Microsoft Money, yadda, yadda.,


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#103399 - 05/16/03 09:34 AM Re: Another one of those e-mails
TheFallibleFiend Offline
veteran

Registered: 01/23/02
Posts: 1523
Loc: Virginia, USA


I've recently been making a foray into the mysterious world of .NET (converting another programmers vba code to a C DLL).

You know that sign that Virgil and Dante saw as they entered Hell?

"ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE"

k



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#103400 - 05/16/03 01:26 PM Re: Another one of those e-mails
Capfka Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 06/28/02
Posts: 1624
Loc: Utter Placebo, Planet Reebok
Tell me about it. I've just been transferred to a team which is a specialist .NET development unit. I'm supposed to design the databases and configure the ADO.NET sh*te side of it. I've suggested they buy Websphere ....


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#103401 - 05/16/03 02:04 PM Re: Another one of those e-mails
vanguard Offline
journeyman

Registered: 12/09/02
Posts: 87
Loc: Ohio
Jackie,
Thanks for the Haiku - the computer dude here loved it! And then when I complimented him on some clear and concise instructions that he emailed to me, he wrote his own haiku:

You make me smile twice
On a day that is gloomy
I will not forget


I'd like to give him credit for the poem, but I'll just say "thanks, Jeff!" and not identify him further.


_________________________
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy? -Ursula K. Le Guin, author (1929- )

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#103402 - 05/16/03 02:31 PM Re: Another one of those e-mails
musick Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/24/00
Posts: 2658
Loc: Chicago
This establishes 'Microsoft' an adjective instead of a "brand name"... (eg. Microsoft Money)<eg>

... and I've heard .NET refered to as "Microsoft Visual Basic Scripting Error Host"


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