Done. Partytime is set for 9:00 PM tomorrow Alabama Time. I have rented the back meeting hall at the 77th st VFW post for the event. Thirty-five life-sized cardboard cutouts of Awad's most illustrious members stand waiting for Member #3000 to mash the submit button so festivities can begin.

If you want to make sure your effigy is included among the invited, or if, because of your dislike of others of different races, creeds, or national origins, you want your one dimensional, narrow minded, smug assed, cardboard cutout removed to a broom closet during the Gala event, please press the Reply button provided at the top right hand corner of this post. Thank you.

Further details will follow as partytime draws near. -mw

Dearest milum,

I'll be there, but yes, I would like my one dimensional, narrow minded, smug, cardboard cutout removed to a broom closet, please. (I took the a--word out--I do not ever use that word.) I'll bring some canapés. Will you serve crabs?

Love,

Me

I do not ever use that word.) I'll bring some canapés. Will you serve crabs? - Jackie

Yes Jackie, we'll serve anybody. No Jackie, you do not have to bring a can of peas. Why Jackie, are feeding me these corny lines?

Are you mad because I used the A-word?
I normanly don't but those bigoted snooty, people I imagined, made me mad.

Remember - forgiveness is the same thing as love,

Milum, Director of Entertainment, Celebration 3000

Honeychile, I gave you that line, hoping you'd take advantage of it! And you did! No, I are not mad, you adorable thing, you! C'mere, Sugar...[HUG e] P.S.--Glad I'll get to be served!

OH, Milum! What a delight! But please, dear, I am much more than two dimensional, so I will bring my own self there with bells on! Jackie, help! Where will I possibly find enough bells to cover this body? Can you help me g/f?

Aw, Angel--you just want milum to ring your chimes!

Milum, we must keep those belles on their toes!

Hmm, I don't know if I can get to Alabama that quickly, but I'll bring the calimari.

... but I'll bring the calimari.

Somehow I knew you would!

Oh Milum, would you prefer I bring the Angel Food Cake or Devil's Food Cake?

Would you prefer I bring the Angel Food Cake or Devil's Food Cake? -Angel

Angel, up north you may be know as Angel, but down south you are known as the Devil's own little Cupcake.

Angel, bring an Angel food cake to Birmingham, but leave your high-flown yankee morals back in Buffalo, New York.

By the way I don't want anyone to think that they are obligated to bring anything to Party 3000. I put down the $10 deposit on the VFW hall, I'm buying the party hats and whistles. I'm supplying the 5 gallon bowl of mock kool-aid punch. All I want for all you attendees, or your cardboard cutouts, is to have a good swinging time and for all you to leave this party with a bagfull of memories and a guilty conscience, and lastly, but mostly, with a renewed hope for all mankind.

Update: Looks like it will be a large turnout. A couple of wise guys PM-ed me and kiddingly asked if they could get into the broom closet with Jackie, and a couple of people asked if Keiva was coming- I said yes, they grunted unhappily, but didn't cancel. Boy-o-boy are we gonna have fun.

Darn! I was just there, too! Now I'm gonna miss the durn party
Unless, could it be? Milum, is this an April fool joke? Yeah! Must be

Angel, up north you may be know as Angel, but down south you are known as the Devil's own little Cupcake.

I'm known down south? Wow! I guess my reputation precedes me!

with bells on

To make this vaguely word-related, bell-shaped = campanulate or campaniform.

Leading me to ask, will our well-shaped belMarduk be attending?

[SUPRISE SUPRISE SUPRISE] We're over the top! And guess what -Mister (or is it miss) Member Number 3000 just might show up at the cardboard party tonight. We'll just have to wait and see.]

Anyway, as a treat for the ladies, a cardboard cut out of Tom Cruise in his underwear will be there, and for the men, I've bought one of those life-sized, anatomically-correct, inflatable dolls, named "Suzy", for them to bounce around and play with. Boy-o-Boy are we gonna have fun!

Til then let's practice the brand new Fight Song...

Awad, Awad, Ra Ra Ra,
Awad, Awad, sic cum bah,
We cornoble,
and we fight.
we kick ____
with words that bite.
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOL, Awad, ROLL!