Today's Wall Street Journal carries a story about the brewhaha between traditional Guinness beer drinkers and Yuppies over the demise of the "slow pull".

A newly-charged glass of the black brew used to take 2 minutes to settle before it could be topped up with its coveted "creamy head". Now, the same effect can be achieved in 15 seconds [thanks to some gas ejection mechanism installed in the can].

The traditionalists are up in arms! It's as tho a minute of prayer could be accomplished in the blink of an eye. And its not a pint-sized battle. Guinness serves 1,883,200,000 pints per year.

The article concludes with these words of wisdom: "Not every change for the better is progress." I heartily agree, but it has nothing to do with the "short pull". Some things are just better left alone ... unimproved. For instance:

A real wood fire in the fireplace. Yes, there is smoke and soot and endless scavengings for fuel. But is there anything else, anything, which keeps the cold out, the cold, cruel cold out, quite so sufficiently?

I'm sure others have their own favorite examples of techno-regressive advances. But the loss of the fireplace, that wood-smoking, log-crackling, soul-warming, hearth-burning fireplace ... is mine.

Hello, lovely plutarch. I am so glad to see you posting again, my friend! This has been brought up before, but...computers, in some circumstances. Ever hit a check-out register when there was a problem and the clerk couldn't fix it? No more can they simply hand you your change and let you be on your way. And, the other day I went to a new medical office. I signed in, and was told to go back out in the hall and around a couple of corners to have my info. entered into the computer system. Off the lobby, I found two tiny offices, just big enough for one desk. So I got all entered, and went back to where I'd initially signed in. The nurse was astonished that I'd come back so quickly (it was the end of the day, is prolly why). She said these two ladies do the computer inputting for no less than four offices in that building and that most of the time patients have to wait for hours to get their computer work processed. Geez!

patients have to wait for hours to get their computer work processed
Yeah, and then they get mis-keyed. (Trust me, the "key" is worse than the "queue".) Headline in today's Wall Street Journal (I kid-u-not): "Deadly Hospital Errors Prompt Groups to Push for Technological Help".

Are you ready to trust your blood work to "computer work" in that hospital?

re:I'm sure others have their own favorite examples of techno-regressive advances. But the loss of the fireplace, that wood-smoking, log-crackling, soul-warming, hearth-burning fireplace ... is mine.

I've only had two fires in my fireplace in the past 4 years. its a drag collecting the wood, drying it, spliting it, and carrying it into the house (with all the spiders and crickets that nest in the wood pile,) cleaning up the ashes..

i have a fire layed, fully dried, split white oak. but i don't want to light a fire if its too cold out.. (all the heat goes up the chimney.) and i don't want to light a fire if i am by myself (too much work) and again, i don't want one when all the family is around.. not safe with toddlers.. come visit me -- and well sit by the fire side, and sip cocoa (or cognac!)

my favorite anachonistic tool (and fortunately still available,) is a dip pen and fine ink! i mostly buy bottled ink.. but i have pulverized batchelor buttons in alcohol, to make a azure blue ink, and boiled onion skins, and reduced the liquid till i had dark golden yellow. but good ink is cheap compared to the time you need to make it. (my stick of chinese ink, has lasted me most of my life!-- what a value for $7(a lot of money in late '60's!)

We have a fireplace in our home of eight years that we have never once used.


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In the days of manual cash registers, if a customer claimed they were shorted in change it was much simpler for the cashier and the customer...no problem, no heated discussions. You simply "checked-out' the register, counted the money on the spot (if you were good this took about 3-5 minutes). If the drawer was "over" you gave the customer what you owed them and apologized; and if it wasn't, the customer shrugged, apologized for being mistaken, and went on their way. Now, with computerized registers, (and because everybody knows that computers don't make a mistake), you have fill out a bunch of forms, and come back to the store to see if it checked-out right (or the next day). And that's providing the cashier and store manager is honest about it...the days when you could ask for them to count it out right in front of you are gone. Of course, now, the customer is never right. I'd say that was a bit of techno-regression.

fireplace never used once in 8 years
I guess the fireplace has become the vestigial orifice of the modern home.

I confess I have never enjoyed the nuisance of feeding a fire just when its crackling glow had carried me off into raptures of repose or romance or ruminations on matters deep and ethereal. Still, I suspect, the experience of a real fire close by, a serviceable fire for cooking or for heat, goes back in our DNA almost as far as the experience of the sound and feel of water.

Recently, a British Medical Journal reported surprising results with Alzheimer's patients who were taken for a swim once a week. Patients who had no apparent emotional connection with life around them experienced obvious pleasure when engaged in their warm swim, and the results were lasting. Difficult patients became more serene.

What do we lose when we cut ourselves off from some of these 'primordial' experiences, like sitting close to a real fire or floating in a body of water? What do we lose? Perhaps more than we know.

We have a fireplace in our home of eight years that we have never once used.

Without looking at your Profile I can make a WAG that you do not live in New England! Or any of the northern US states that have winter storms.

Later Ah Ha ...Virginia! I knew it!

I can make a WAG
What's a WAG, WOW? A "Weather Assisted Guess"?

plutarch, does it help to mention that a SWAG is a particular kind of a WAG?

Hint: SWAG
I know SWAK and I know swag bags (which kids load with candy on Halloween). But SWAG leaves me SOL.

...you do not live in New England! Or any of the northern US states that have winter storms.

WOW, we built our home, in Buffalo, NY, 4 years ago, without a fireplace. Deleted it from the blueprint and put in a spectacular picture window in its place! We have gone twice in the last 18 months for over 36 hours without electric or heat, but hey, that's what family and hotels are for. EDIT Hubby reminded me, that's what the generator he has on order is for too! But every day I get to look out that window and see the deer, chipmunks, and other wildlife playing in my yard. I'll take that over a fireplace any day!

wild a** guess is closer than weather assisted guess! and s i think is a stupid one.

my immediate next door neighbors heat their entire house with franklin stoves, vents and wood. i have traded huge pieces of well dried white oak, over 2 feet in diameter for half as much split wood. and i use some of there wood ashes for my compost heap, and to discourage slugs.

i have natural gas piped into the house, and its rare for NY to have a big winter storm that knock out power for days on end. more often is summer thunderstorms, that knock down trees, and take down power lines.

wild-a** guess
Actually, I think WOW's deduction was more of an EG than a WAG and, since he was right, he didn't end up with any EG on his face.

BTW while I have you in the mood, de Troy, are there any particular rules governing the construction of acronyms?

For instance, a hyphenated word like "wild-a**" accounts for 2 letters in WAG whereas the acronym NORAD squanders the first 3 letters on the first word alone. What gives?

Acronyms have become such a ubiquitous part of daily life, surely we need some rules to bring some order to the universe (OTTU).

re: WOW's deduction was more of an EG than a WAG and, since he was right,

WOW, you had a sex change? who'd a thought! last time i checked, WOW was a foxy, Wise Old Woman, our local irish granny!
oops, who has egg on their face now!

And here all along I thought "swag" was the past tense of "swig," since the thread began with that in mind:
...the brewhaha between traditional Guinness beer drinkers and Yuppies over the demise of the "slow pull"

I thought "swag" was the past tense of "swig"
You are at least half right, Wolfuhulic. After a few "swigs", some people swagger, others stagger and some just sit there and stutter.