I spent yesterday playing bridge, and one of my fellow players was inspired by the events of the day to compose a little ditty. Those of you who also indulge in bridge should enjoy this:

Because My Partner Opened One Club

My partner opened "One Club".
It came round to me,
with three clubs, three queens and
ill-disguised glee.

My diamonds were solid
with the queen and the ten.
They were four in number,
so I bid them then.

When my partner bid hearts,
mine skipped a beat.
My trio would help us
land on our feet.

But wait... be patient...
don't support just yet.
Manufacture a spade bid.
It seems the best bet.

Then one no trump I heard.
Quite enough for me.
With all bases covered,
I jumped to three.

Down came a spade lead!
Down came my cards!
My partner's eyes went wide...
and then cold, and then hard.

Such determination she'd need
to see the thing through.
My queen fell to the ace,
but there was always trick two.

A spade came back
through her jack to the king.
The opponents had tempo,
a dangerous thing.

Suffice it to say
luck was not on our side.
Our soldiers all fell
to attacks from behind.

I don't wish to criticize.
That's not in me.
I would have held it
to merely down three.

At the end we'd four tricks,
no more to be found.
We kept them out of game.
My bidding was sound.

So imagine my shock.
Partner threw daggers at me!
The opponents joined in.
It became one on three.

I suffered their slings,
but here is the rub.
Partner is the one
who opened one club!

Show us the hands.

If all you had was six points you should have settled for a part score. And if they had game, why weren't they bidding??

With 6 points to a maximum 15 with no major (and likely 5 cards in clubs) I would probably have returned to clubs (probably 2, maybe 3) after hearing No Trumps. Partners one club was valid, as was hearts as a second suit (asked for and recieved) but their 1nt was based on the manufactured one spade. Daggers to dummy were well deserved. No offence intended.

TEd, I assume They missed their chance to bet due to the pre-emptive 1c-1d-1h-1s-1nt bidding of We.

shoulda been "2 bids too far" - with a 6 count, responder's prime duty is to limit his/her hand at first opportunity, so cannot do other than choose between an immediate NT playing 6-9, or weak preference when offered a second suit by opener. The use of the unlimited 4thSF in my system at least would promise a game forcing position over two unlimited suit bids by opener, so could not be made on less than say 11 or more well-placed points.

but never mind, responder has grasped the basics of the game: "It's *your fault, partner!"

In my judgment the criminal bid was the jump to 3NT. Opener has a limited hand (by the 1NT bid), and respender has already overbid by bidding twice.

But mav's last paragrarph is 100% right-on.

the 3N only compounded the 1S felony. (and the opponents should have been able to bid spades before the "manufactured" 1S!)

Come to think of it: if the 1S bid wasn't forcing (depending on the system played), then both bidders had already limited their hands by sign-off bids at the one-level -- and just that bidding alone, the opponents should have realized that the 3NT was nonsense, and doubled it.