Somebody started a thread like this recently, but I'll be danged if I can find it. Anyway, the idea was to take a statement and alter it by inverting the order of the words. I think.
This one comes from boxing hall of famer Bert Sugar, regarding the signs now posted on the doors of Las Vegas hotel rooms.
The signs say:
Have you left anything?
Mr Sugar would change them to:
Have you anything left?
Employees must wash hands before leaving
Must wash hands before leaving employees
To go to the restroom.
The restroom to go to.
As A kid I always thought that the instructions posted next to the little hammer on the walls of multi-story buildings were incomplete. Instead of...
[IN CASE OF FIRE BREAK GLASS] the signs should have read...
[IN CASE OF FIRE BREAK GLASS IN CASE] That way people would know which glass to break.
last week, i had trouble with a crossword puzzle clue i kept reading wrong..
in stead of:
Goes out with ans.=dates
i kept seeing:
Goes with out and supplied needs as an answer (unsuccessfully!)
No child left behind.
No child's behind left.
Q: Is that coffee I smell?
A: It is and you do!
Oui. Oui highjack.
Here's the itch...
What four-word phrase was printed more times than any other English phrase during the 20th Century?
Give up? Ok, below is a hint, then see if you can give the phrase a twist.
"Loving You Has Made Me Bananas"
_________________________________ by Guy Marks
Oh you burned your finger that evening
while my back was turned
I asked the waiter for iodine
But I dined alone
Your red scarf matches your eyes
You close your cover before striking
Father had the ship-fitter blues
Loving you has made me bananas
The answer you're looking for is
Close Cover Before Striking,
which advice was prolly statutorily required here in the US on all matchbook covers. I assume it's still printed there, but I cannot remember the last time I saw a book of matches.
But I've always wondered if the more correct answer were not:
United States of America
in a tie with:
In God We Trust
found on every coin and bill the US issued during the same period. Certainly the latter two phrases are still around literally billions of times, since coins don't wear out as much as matches do.
And I'm way too lazy to go looking for matchbook production figures! Not gonna do it, it's my birthday and I don't have to do anything. Nyaa nyaa nyaa!
TEd, feeling a bit whimsical this AM
Faldo:
Thanks. I handled buffalo nickels a lot when I was a kid and did not notice that In God We Trust was not on them. My guess is the law requiring that on coinage came after they stopped minting them. But it was on the cent from at least 1909 forward.
TEd
One day, just one lousy day, I wish I could think as succinct as Bridget.
This one comes from boxing hall of famer Bert (Sugar Ray) Sugar, regarding the advice given to him by his trainer after he got knocked out while trying a uppercut...
Cover...before close striking.
I'd rather have a full bottle in front o' me than a full frontal lobotomy.
-------------------------- Tom Waits?
>I'd rather have a full bottle in front o' me than a full frontal lobotomy.
-------------------------- Tom Waits?
No, his brother Todd, in their album For No Man.
Actually, without the fulls in it, I'd heard it attributed to William C. Fields.
Nope:
Tom and Todd Waits' "For No Man"
[Take] cover before close striking
Wet Paint (signs)
altered to read
aint Wet (p)discarded--
fairly commonly done in NYC subway system(where some one has the job of posting the signs at time of painting, but no one has the job to remove the signs)
The look you're answering for.