Wordsmith.org
Posted By: Jackie Another one of those e-mails - 05/15/03 10:56 PM
In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. They're used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.

Here are 13 actual error messages from Japan......


The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
-------------------------
Chaos reigns within,
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
--------------------------
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
--------------------------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
--------------------------
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
--------------------------
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
--------------------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
--------------------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
--------------------------
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which one has occurred.
--------------------------
You step into the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
--------------------------
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
--------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
--------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Posted By: Buffalo Shrdlu Re: Another one of those e-mails - 05/15/03 11:38 PM
Microsoft error messages

must resist temptation...


Posted By: WhitmanO'Neill Re: Another one of those e-mails - 05/16/03 03:07 AM
must resist temptation...

Why?



Posted By: Capfka Re: Another one of those e-mails - 05/16/03 09:02 AM
"Microsoft" is actually an ancient Navajo word for "what follows contains countless undocumented errors". Hence, Microsoft Windows, Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft Visual Basic, Microsoft .NET, Microsoft Money, yadda, yadda.,

Posted By: TheFallibleFiend Re: Another one of those e-mails - 05/16/03 01:34 PM


I've recently been making a foray into the mysterious world of .NET (converting another programmers vba code to a C DLL).

You know that sign that Virgil and Dante saw as they entered Hell?

"ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE"

k


Posted By: Capfka Re: Another one of those e-mails - 05/16/03 05:26 PM
Tell me about it. I've just been transferred to a team which is a specialist .NET development unit. I'm supposed to design the databases and configure the ADO.NET sh*te side of it. I've suggested they buy Websphere ....

Posted By: vanguard Re: Another one of those e-mails - 05/16/03 06:04 PM
Jackie,
Thanks for the Haiku - the computer dude here loved it! And then when I complimented him on some clear and concise instructions that he emailed to me, he wrote his own haiku:

You make me smile twice
On a day that is gloomy
I will not forget


I'd like to give him credit for the poem, but I'll just say "thanks, Jeff!" and not identify him further.


Posted By: musick Re: Another one of those e-mails - 05/16/03 06:31 PM
This establishes 'Microsoft' an adjective instead of a "brand name"... (eg. Microsoft Money)<eg>

... and I've heard .NET refered to as "Microsoft Visual Basic Scripting Error Host"

© Wordsmith.org