A Westford, Mass. company by the name of Captivate Network has discovered a new demographic to bombard with news and advertising: "vertical-ites"

The company discovered that high income Manhattanites spend "six minutes a day alone in an elevator". "That's 30 minutes a week, 26 hours a year -- longer than some New York romances", we are told.

Encouraged by its success in Manhattan, Captivate is bringing its elevator video screen service to 1,100 of the 1,700 best office towers in North America, including the former Arco building in downtown Los Angeles and the Sears Tower in Chicago. And there's even a new feature for AWADiphiles in transit between floors. Here's what Captivate's President has to say (as reported in today's LA Times).

"I tell my editors, 'Give people the 'Oh, wow factor,' " said Mike DiFranza, the president of Captivate. Which accounts for the "word of the day" feature. Thursday it was "ineffable," defined as "indescribable" and illustrated thus: "The chef adored the ineffable aroma of the Italian truffle." DiFranza does not see this bite or his "power poll" questions -- Would you be more productive with a midday nap? -- as an intrusion into the john-sized space of an elevator. (According to e-mailed responses to the nap question, 76% said yes and 9% said they already nap at their desk.)

Which leaves me wondering. How would most AWAD subscribers prefer to receive their "word a day"? Seated on the horizonal plane or verticalizing between floors?

Seated on the horizonal plane or verticalizing between floors?

On an escalator.

On an escalator
Good one, FishonaBike. I hadn't thought of that angle.

This is off-topic, but, as there isn't a lot of interest in this thread, perhaps no-one will mind. I see from your bio that when you are not fishing, you are cycling, and sometimes you are doing both. I cycle a bit myself and I wonder what you think about the new studies that link bicycling to impotence, and the new bicycle seats which have arrived on the market to address the problem.

According to an article in yesterday's Wall Street Journal (October 15th at page D1 entitled "Score One for the Couch Potatoes"), "The problem which can also occur with stationary bikes, is one of simple physics. ... When someone [yes, women are affected too] gets on a bicycle seat, the weight is distributed over a much smaller area [than when seated on a chair], increasing the pressure on the crotch by 5 or 6 times. A typical bike seat directs all that pressure against the perineum, the part of the body that contains the nerves and arteries to the the genitals. Women can also experience numbness and sexual dysfunction as a result." "To address the problem, a handful of seat makers have introduced nose-less, split-seat bike saddles which ... ease the pressure on the perineum and allow for normal blood flow to the genital area." Some names of the new bike saddles: "The BiSaddle", "The Milano", "The Seat from Ergo" and "The EasySeat" from Hobson.

Sounds like you do a lot of your cycling while treading water, Fishonabike, so perhaps buoyance relieves the pressure on your private parts. Any thoughts on this subject? My interest is genuine as I enjoy cycling myself ... altho I do most of my cycling on dry land.
[When you cycle "off road", you really! cycle "off road", dont't you? ]

I must admit that my first re-action to the thought of a TV screen in a lift was one of enormous horror.

But seeing shona's lateral contribution reminded me of the peasure that I used to derive from looking at the adverts as I slowly descended into the bowels of London's Underground system.
I am aware that much of the pleasure depended on the nature of the adverts, about 60% of which extolled the glories of certain brands of corsetry, and my age - I was in my late teens to early twenties.
However, I did also take note of the other adverts as well, and didn't find the experience at all horrible. So maybe well-chosen advertisements would help to while away the minutes spent in verticallity.

And what a boon when the lift gets stuck.

new studies that link bicycling to impotence, and the new bicycle seats

Yeah, red, heard about potential links between cycling and impotence quite a while ago when, as it happens, I was cycling considerably more than at present. To be honest it never worried me and still doesn't. You're not in a fixed position (exerting pressure on a fixed point) while cycling - you're always moving. Also I find I'm rarely if ever putting my full weight on the seat. A lot of the time at least half my weight is on the pedals.

To the extent that you cycle a lot and actually find your bike seat uncomfortable, it's probably worth exploring the options. When you're first buying a bike, the type of seat must be a consideration, but at some stage when you've established a pattern of use you may reconsider your choice. I happen to have been perfectly happy (and have stuck with) the basic firmish gel seat that I started with a few years back.

But otherwise this looks suspiciously like a marketing ploy to me. Bikes (and even bike accessories) can last for many years if you buy reasonable quality kit and look after it properly. There are people who must really hate that.

maybe well-chosen advertisements would help to while away the minutes spent in verticality

Hmmm, nothing like as pleasant as looking at ads as you go down on an escalator, though (which I also have enjoyed ). Dunno, seems to me that descending on an escalator is best - otherwise you get the bottom of the ad first, which isn't usually the way it's designed to be read.
The lateral movement is also helpful, perhaps because reading is a lateral thing.

I can't see how the experience would translate to verticality.

as you go down on an escalator, though (which I also have enjoyed ).

yikes, I've heard about the mile-high club, but never the escalator club....

Just one step at a time.

Just one step at a time

..but they feel like very big steps.


Imagine if Neil Armstrong had had an escalator:
"That's one sm - Ah."

This all sounds as bad as Microsoft selling advertising space on the BSOD!

redpepper, is there a point to your last post or do you just enjoy reprinting such articles for some strange, lascivious pleasure?

red pepper made a total of 8 posts over the weekend (last) and has dropped out... as a newbie, we can't expect him/her/(hos?) to know and understand the protocal here. and since they have stopped (for the moment) posting, lets cut some slack.

Red Pepper we prefer out humor a bit subtle... like the comment about going down on an escalator... your posting, well, might have been fine for a medical/health board, but really has nothing to do with words. see the difference? plays on words, even if slightly blue are fun, out and out posting are out of place.

and if you read the current threads you find others, even old timers, have been called to task this week for similar (albeit shorter, and less lascivous) posts of similar nature. we tend to be alternately be naught school kids and school marms... cutting up, and joking one minute, and being stern and correct the next.

there are no rules here... (that is, externally imposed ones!) but this is a very strict place! we all work to keep it focused on words, while enjoying them too!

in rp's defense, there are two word related concepts in the original post:
the term "vertical-ites" and
the "word a day" feature in the ad content.
maybe it would have been better placed in another forum section? I struggled with that myself this morning when posting about the free Mac software. is Information and Announcements the best place for something like that? or this?

Eta - I&A was exactly the right place to announce the Free Mac offer.

To be honest I'd say that Wordplay & Fun is the natural home for, say, dodgy advertising terminology (and buzzwords and so on). In my opinion verticality fits the bill on that front.

Mea culpa for continuing the bike-seat sidetrack, though. Nothing word-related at all. My apologies.

It's almost as bad as turning something serious into a food thread ..........

you find others, even old timers, have been called to task this week for similar (albeit shorter, and less lascivous) posts of similar nature
Like "Don't miss!-Shocking new OZ cultural phenomenon!", de Troy? That thread drew almost 600 views (more than any other current thread I can find) and 54 replies.

Thank you for your guidance, de Troy, and your willingness to cut me some slack. Now that you have explained everything, I see that I was wrong to ask Fishonabike a question about bike design. In my own defence, I can only say that my question was sincere, and, once Fishonabike gave me his informed reply, I did not explore the subject further.

In any event, it would be a bit of a stretch to call my interest or my post "lascivious". Cycling is pretty much a universal activity in our society and the study I mentioned was reported as serious science in a respectable newspaper. I did use the term "private parts" in my post, but that reference did not excite a fraction of the interest generated by the far more explicit "Oz cultural phenomenon" thread. That thread produced a sustained frenzy of discussion about "penis puppetry".

Incidentally, my take on the Oz Phenom thread was the same as my take on the stage performance itself. It didn't tickle my fancy so I didn't choose to buy a ticket or join in the reviews. No offence to those who did. To each his own.

Do we contradict ourself? Very well, then we contradict ourself, we are large, we contain multitudes.

Do we contradict ourself? Very well, then we contradict ourself, we are large, we contain multitudes.

Ok, its early in the morning but I'll play...uh...Orson Wells?

Orson Wells?

Freely adapted from Walt Whitman.