retiarius /reh tee AR ius/
choose one:
a) any of a number of species of bird whose head and tail seem so similar in flight as to appear to be flying backwards (cf. the French word for duck, canard) Geoff
b) a person who is just about to give up working for a living, on a permanent basis Rhubarb Commando
c) retiarina: regency victim of a broken engagement going back 'out' with her best frock on and her bejewelled head held high; hence retiarius: the first ball after said jilting dodyskin, 1 vote
d) a parasitic microbe which feeds on the retina of tropical mammals, swiftly causing blindess WhitmanO'N
e) the name for the Roman hunting tool which resembles the modern-day boomerang; also the word shouted when it was thrown etaoin
f) a Roman gladiator who carried a net with which to entangle his adversary OED2, 4 votes
g) the crest or tuft on the head of a bird Wordwind, 4 votes
h) hilarious consuelo
i) A net of metal rings used as a weapon by a gladiator. TEd Remington, 2 votes (for a null def'n!)
j) in a last ditch effort to salvage a fiasco Ford Motors introduced the Edsel Retiaris which featured a gold chrome grill, a hydro-thermo-glide transmission, and a three tone paint finish; production stopped in mid first shift, only 17 were made, with 2 extant -- the rarest car in the world according to Guinness. darned if I can remember who sent this one, oh well...
k) the original name for Stan Lee's Spiderman FishonaBike (as interpreted by tsuwm)
l) a yellow calcite that forms on metallic artifacts from the Fertile Crescent when exposed to acidic liquids Jazzoctopus, 1 vote
m) the circle of hair surrounding the tonsure, or shaved crown, of a monk's or priest's head slithy toves, 2 votes
n) a compendium of visions; a dream journal Verlangen, 1 vote
o) one skilled in fanciful story-weaving tsuwm
we have a few new players this time; the entrants inclue: WO'N, dodyskin, slithy toves, Jazzo, Wordwind, milum, tsuwm, OED2, consuelo, Fishona, Verlangen, etaoin, Rhubarb & Geoff
so Wordwind tied with OED2 for most votes (4) [nice work Theresa!]. the correct votes were cast by Vernon Compton, Bobyoungbalt, RhubarbCommando and rapunzel, of whom only RC was a 'player'. there were four(4) own votes cast, largely to no avail whatsoever (quite obviously so in three cases!).
I
Oh shucks. I'm stumped. Me and my big mouth. All of the definitions are so good. Except mine. I was going to fool everybody and have the briefest definition on the board and then somebody submitted... (H): hilarious.
Oh well I guess the safest thing for me to do at this point is to vote for tsuwm's definition, after all he is the Hogmaster. ( J ) I vote for ( J ) , after all he is the Hogmaster.
Well, I'm going to have to go with
G simply because the last of the duck-billed dinosaurs,
Retiarisaurus, had a large crest-like protrusion of the top of its head.
See, milum, all this proselytetic strategizing is contagious, and highly addictive!
G or M, G or M... they're both about the same, really... OK - G.
they're both about the same, reallyLessee...monk, bird, dinosaur...pretty much...
It has to be
F(
and I'm not a new player, O mighty tsuwm, I've been playing this game since the beginning - I had a cumulative score of about 4, I think - just beating Max the Magnificent!)
I just found that Spider-Man is the same age as me.
And that's not the
only thing we have in common.. *
K * I spend a lot of my working day climbing walls, too.
Edit: Oh oh 
- can I amend the definition slightly, from "original name" to "AKA name" ?? Pretty please?
None of them seemed right to me. I wasn't tempted by a single one this time, although I think all those definitions are good enough to deserve words. Just not retiarius. Retiarius needs a more companionable definition.
All that said, I liked one definition a great deal, with a single reservation. I wish the Fertile Crescent part had been left out. If it had, then I think it would have been a perfect definition for retiarius:
a yellow calcite that forms on metallic artifacts from the Fertile Crescent when exposed to acidic liquids
I can't remember its letter, but that's the definition I'll vote for. I'll come back and add the letter in a minute.
Edit: L I vote for "L."
I don't really think it is C, but I like the definition so much that I'll vote for it anyway.
I'll go with M, it sounds just about worthless enough to be right.
Uh...Bill, its been a while since you've played a good ole game of Hogwash hasn't it. The rules have been changed, now you have to send your best-guess definition to tsuwm in secret.
Yes, I agree it doesn't seem fair, but bad rules are still rules.
Milo
Hi Milo! My Milo wants to say "hi!" ("arf! arf!") There...now he's happy!
Whitman!
Don't you understand dog talk? Your dog Milo didn't want to say Hi !
"ARF! ARF! is dog talk for "I vote "
J ".
Your sweet cute little Milo wanted to cast his vote
for definition
---> " J " <--- .
BOW-WOW! (That's dog talk for "Thank You".) -
At this time I would like to make an appeal to all you little folk, you wonderful people behind the scenes who do all the real hard work by lurking about, and never enjoying the benefits of Hogwash. I WANT YOUR VOTE.
Never, since Hogwash became my passion, have I played an entire game without receiving a single vote. Please. This is America, it is legal for you people to vote and your vote does count. Vote with your heart and not with your mind. Vote J now, before tsuwm shuts us down.
Thank you.
I WANT YOUR VOTEC'mon milum, take it like a man
I'm obliged to, having totally blown it.
Aw, c'mon, milum...as you well know, J-walking is illegal. So you're just setting us up for incrimination!
BOW-WOW!
gosh milum... how can any right-minded person refuse a bathetic plea such as yours? as it costs me little, I will happily throw away my vote on J, without even mentioning that everyone recognized the provenance of J. no thanks required, or expected.
oh... wait a sec.... the hogmasterŪ has no vote!? [dratted rules]
never mind.
\\\
You can call me Ray\\\or///You can call me Faye///____But you Doesn't have to call me bathetic 
AnnaS:
Is that an "L" or an "I"?
My screen has arial and I can't figure out whether it's a lower case "L" or an uppercase "I." (Does the period go inside the quotation marks when it's just one letter? This is a pretty important question to me, so, please, somebody answer it.)
Edit: never mind. I see tsuwm has used all lowercase letters, so it must be an "L." (But I'd still like to know about the period, so I'll leave my question in this round.)
I'm guessing that it's an "i", accounting for contrariness (capitalization) and all. (besides which, it looks like an i to me)
My screen uses Times, and this does show it as an "I" (eye)
J have windows 98 and jt looks like a J.
Observes milum: J have windows 98 and jt looks like a J.
Best laugh of the day, Mr. M.
I think it's an "L" because that's the best definition minus the Fertile Crescent part. AnnaS would appreciate that kind of definition.
I think it's an I because it looks like an I on my screen. And also, I voted for I.
Yup. It's a contrary EYE.
"I." (Does the period go inside the quotation marks when it's just one letter?
It goes outside; "I" is not a sentence, and the period in question is ending the entire sentence. I would only put a period inside a quote if the entire sentence is in quotes. Feel free to correct me :-).
vote for me, im only six (c) (c) (c)
>we have a few new players this time; the entrants inclue: WO'N, dodyskin, slithy toves, Jazzo, Wordwind, milum, tsuwm, OED2, consuelo, Fishona, Verlangen, etaoin, Rhubarb & Geoff
I'm reminded of the story of the fellow who walks into a drugstore and says to the woman behind the ocunter, "Miss, can I have a dozen condoms?"
The woman snarls at him, "Don't you "Miss" me!"
He thought for a second. "OK, make it thirteen."
Anyway. In the end I am voting for N.
Methinks, dear milum, you are becoming a bit
J-ded with all this!
BOW-WOW!
That is, of course, unless
J is the best that Science Fiction has to offer!
BOW-WOW!
That is, of course, unless J is the best that Science Fiction has to offer! -WO"N and dog.
MISTRIAL! MISTRIAL! Whitman and his cute dog milo, made fun of my entry in direct violation of...
Hogwash Code 23:01b: If any player makes fun of another's entry, at the point of insult, that game shall be deemed invalid and the Hogmaster is to declare,
ALL BETS ARE OFF THIS GAME IS CLOSED. The Hogmaster is further instructed to destroy all definitions pertinent to the corrupted game by burning them to ashes in a metal stove and to send a formal note of apology to the person whose definition was defamed.
ALL BETS ARE OFF THIS GAME IS CLOSED. The Hogmaster is further instructed to destroy all definitions pertinent to the corrupted game by burning them to ashes in a metal stove and to send a formal note of apology to the person whose definition was defamed.
dear ___,
boy, you really had me fooled. I had no clue that you were milum.
[how's *that* for a cheap shot]
walks into a drugstore and says to the woman behind the ocunter
Is an ocunter a rough-and-(un)ready form of greeter, TEd? [innocence]
Is Sigmund hiding around here anywhere? Maybe under the ________?
Ditto, Fish: [innocence]
Whitman and his cute dog milo, made fun of my entry in direct violation of...
"Bow-Arf!"
Oops, Milo...did ya hear that? Now ya really gone and done it! Doggie Milo just changed his "J" vote back to G! But he's still smiling! ;)
well, that was an odd round. as most of you have prolly sussed by now, a retiarius was (f) a Roman gladiator who carried a net with which to entangle his adversary.
number "i", which was "quashed for coming too close for comfort" was actually submitted by teD and read something like this in its original form: A net of metal rings used as a weapon by a gladiator. imagine my initial confusion when teD then proceded to vote for something other than "f".
the following exchange eventually unmuddied the waters, somewhat:
teD: I just voted and then went and looked up retiarius. Didn't I send you a definition that said it was the net used by a gladiator? I am SO confused.
tsuwm: [paraphrasing] yep, that's the one that was quashed. so how come you didn't vote for the actual def'n? gosh, being hogmasterŪ is sure a load of laughs.
teD: The reason i did NOT vote for I was because I could not remember exactly what I wrote (and of course we don;t have copies of our own PMs here).
But I want to assure you that I did NOT know what retiarius really was and I used the root word rete to come up with the definition I sent you. I was gobsmacked to find out how close I was to reality.
I voted for N because I figured that F was what I had sent or was very close to it, and I knew that F wasn't right because I MADE THE DAMNED THING UP!!!
So I guessed N.
Yes, being Hogwash master IS a load of laughs. Of course being a player is too!
Special to milum:
OK. You've told us what "Bow-wow" means...and what "Arf! Arf!" means...but what about a plain old "Bark!" What does it mean when a dog just hands you a direct, incisive "Bark!"?
I thought the only dogs that said that were the ones called Marcus, and only when they have a head-cold.
OK. You've told us what "Bow-wow" means...and what "Arf! Arf!" means...but what about a plain old "Bark!" What does it mean when a dog just hands you a direct, incisive "Bark!"?
Depends on the context.
OK. You've told us what "Bow-wow" means...and what "Arf! Arf!" means...but what about a plain old "Bark!" What does it mean when a dog just hands you a direct, incisive "Bark!"? -
wordwindIt depends on the context. -
jimthedogOk, sweet ailantis blossom of awad, jimthedog and cute little milo and little cute me admit that our occasional bouts of ferocious barking amount to little more than what you females would call a
hissy-fit, but the roar of a mighty lion is but a whimper when we dogs growl low with portent of gashing gnawing things to come, and...
Grrrrrrrrrrrr! 
Damit tsuwm! Did milum's definition get a vote or not? Grrrrrrrrr...
"Damit tsuwm! Did milum's definition get a vote or not? Grrrrrrrrr..."
What's the opposite of "Yip! Yip!" in dogtalk?
Bark regards,
WordWhelp
Edit: milum, the correct spelling is ailanthus, aka "Tree of Heaven," my personal sentiments about said tree aside...
Edit the Edit:
Main Entry: ai·lan·thus
Pronunciation: A-'lan(t)-th&s
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin, from Ambonese ai lanito, literally, tree (of) heaven
Date: 1807
: any of a small Asian genus (Ailanthus of the family Simaroubaceae, the ailanthus family) of chiefly tropical trees and shrubs with bitter bark, pinnate leaves, and terminal panicles of ill-scented greenish flowers
This tree can break up concrete, no joke.
seconding my dear friend WW, here, Milum, there ain't no such thing as sweet scented ailanthus blossum.. the flowers smell very much like burnt starch.. (skilled cooks might not know this smell) Any one who has ever managed to leave potatoes or rice, or wheat cereal over a flame.. and had it burn, knows the smell.. its not quite as bad as burning rubber, but its pretty bad.
ill-scented greenish flowers is a pretty mild description.
and while the chinese do value them, they are considered weed trees in most parts of the US and about as welcome as kudzu.
Oh-oh of troy, if you didn't like what I wrote about your dear friend wordwind, you are gonna hate what I'm gonna write about you and your good friend fishonabike over in Announcements and Information. But remember of troy, you know that I think that you are a fore-standing asset of this board, and as well, I think that the wit, charm, and, notwithstanding his anatomically impossible name, the intellectual honesty of fishonabike is apparent in every one, except maybe one or two, of his posts.
But alas, I am a egg-sucking cur, and sucking eggs is my calling.
~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
~~~~~~~~~~~~>
I am a egg-sucking cur
I'll say! promise to post something, and i scurry over to I & A, to see what treat is in store, and find nothing..
you're right! i hate what you said about me!
wicked man! makes a promise, get a girl all excited, and then fails to deliver! What ever did i do to deserve to treated so cruelly?
wicked man! makes a promise, get a girl all excited, and then fails to deliver! What ever did i do to deserve to treated so cruelly? -
of troy I'll tell you what you did Helen, down in Movement of Water in Miscellany you wrote a short piece on Little Neck Bay.
Wicked man or egg-sucking cur, no creature with half a ear could write a disparaging word to the writer of that wonderful impressionistic prose.
Well maybe I can. But it's going to take me at least a week to get mad again.
[__________________________
________________________]
ANNOUNCEMENT
Wordwind--that's me!--got as many votes as the OED. Tra-la! And I didn't even cheat like the author of J, which is the letter eye incognito.
My definitions rarely get votes, although the asp voted for one of mine a while back.
Now what to do to celebrate? I think I'll take the OED out for a drink.
Bourbon regards,
WordWinner! forgetting my Southern upbringing to always conduct myself modestly
P.S. This was really an easy contest to figure out in retrospect. It hit me last week: retiarius. reticulated. netted. How did so many of us miss the "ret" part? Rhet Butler wasn't called "Rhet" for nothin'!