Many years ago, I think at a college Christmas party, someone recited some lines apparently from some unpublished papers of Robert Burns. I have proposed this to a couple members over a month ago, and not heard from them since, although RC did sent me some lines so good I thought he had found the xource.
Allegedly Burns was at a gathering of some notables, and an English poet challenged him to a contest. He recited some lines, to which Burns was to add an appropriate ending.
I cannot remember the authentic lines, but have a reasonable facsimile of the English poet's lines:

"Should the King, by his Royal command
Bid a naked maid walk down the Strand
How could you ensure
She need no laugh endure?"

The challenge is to recreate Burns' reply. The essence of it was that
he would persuade the King to order the English poet to walk behind
the young lady, with his nose between her buttocks, so that the court
would laugh at the English poet, and not at the young lady.

Perhaps a a couple teams of several members each could try their hands at writing the required lines.
I hope you will think it a fun thing to do.

Aw, c'mon fellas. Not even a comment? Only four lines or so? Outrage at impropriety? Blame that on the King. Are you going to let the Sassenach win?

I would attempt to come up with a reply, dear nuncle, but some weirdo has his nose up my butt.

If remedy for blushes o’ the maid thou seeks
And so to still the crowd fra their rude laughter,
As doon the street she walks wi’ nairy breeks;
Ye, ma sonsy frien', should follow after
Wi thy great Nab agint her nether cheeks.
Their hoots wud be at thee, for lookin’ dafter!

As I said, RC's gem made me think he had found the original. Let's see if any of you can match it or top it.

If that's the original, I applaud Rhuby for finding it, Dr. Bill. I've searched all the Burns sites, I posted the tidbit on the phorum at The Poetry Archives http://emule.com/poetry..nothing, nyet, nada.

Your Happy Epeolatrist!