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Posted By: wow Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/21/02 03:49 PM
The scary thing is I use these every now and then!

41. Act naturally
40. Found missing
39. Resident alien
38. Advanced BASIC
37. Genuine imitation
36. Airline Food
35. Good grief
34. Same difference
33. Almost exactly
32. Government organization
31. Sanitary landfill
30. Alone together
29. Silent scream
28. Living dead
27. Small crowd
26. Business ethics
25. Soft rock
24. Military Intelligence
23. Software documentation
22. New classic
21. Sweet sorrow
20. Childproof
19. "Now, then ..."
18. Synthetic natural gas
17. Taped live
16. Clearly misunderstood
15. Peace force
14. Extinct Life
13. Temporary tax increase
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Diet ice cream
4. Rap music
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate

And the Number One Oxymoron is :

1. Microsoft Works


Posted By: WhitmanO'Neill Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/21/02 04:41 PM
And the Number One Oxymoron is :

The World Champion Boston Red Sox!

Posted By: wow Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/21/02 04:49 PM
Don't start with me Whit!


Posted By: WhitmanO'Neill Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/21/02 04:54 PM
Okay, wow...don't want to get into another Yankees/Red Sox Civil War!



Posted By: maverick Re: from wow to woe’s not far to go… - 02/21/02 05:13 PM
I love the list, wow!

but I have some bad financial news on the sports front, I am afraid, from the London Financial Times, Saturday 16th Feb 02:

It will be a down year for the markets. It’s official.

According to economist Ed Yardeni of Deutsche Bank, from 1967 through to 2000 the S&P 500 has usually fallen whenever an American Football team from the old AFL wins the Superbowl and risen when an NFL team win. Two weeks ago old AFL team, the New England Patriots, won the Superbowl.

Down year it is then. What do you mean, you’ve never heard of the Superbowl Indicator? From 1967-1998 the indicator has had a 90 per cent success rate.

But a note of caution: don’t bet the home on this one.


Posted By: WhitmanO'Neill Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/22/02 04:57 AM
ice water, honest politician, free donation, probably not



Posted By: AnnaStrophic 40. Found missing - 02/22/02 03:06 PM
I guess in this case we could give one to the Brits, with their "went missing."

Posted By: Chemeng1992 Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/22/02 08:22 PM
How is 'childproof' an oxymoron?

And where is 'jumbo shrimp'? I don't know about you guys, but usually where road construction is concerned, a "Men Working" sign would be considered an oxymoron.

Posted By: boronia Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/22/02 08:48 PM
civil lawyer/attorney?

Posted By: Chemeng1992 Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/22/02 08:49 PM
uh-oh. Where's Sparteye?

Posted By: wow Re: from wow to woe’s not far to go… - 02/22/02 09:08 PM
Down year it is then. What do you mean, you’ve never heard of the Superbowl Indicator? From 1967-1998 the indicator has had a 90 per cent success rate.

Well, there is a counter ... all the gals with youth and/or good legs on their side just have to go out and buy short skirts!



Posted By: Keiva Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/22/02 10:58 PM
civil lawyer/attorney

Lawyer's epitaph: Here I Lie Still.


Posted By: wofahulicodoc while we're on the subject... - 02/23/02 12:44 AM
Two men are looking at a headstone.

Says one : It says, Here rests a lawyer and an honest man.

Replies the other: I thought only one body could be buried in a grave in this county...

(not to be taken personally; some of my best friends are lawyers)



Posted By: Keiva Re: while we're on the subject... - 02/23/02 02:08 AM
Here rests a lawyer

ssshhhhh! Let the sleeping dog lie; let the lying dog sleep.
The defense rests, your honor.

Posted By: Capital Kiwi Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/23/02 10:10 AM
military intelligence ....

Posted By: Keiva Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/23/02 11:49 AM
military intelligence
A remembered quotation that I cannot find on google; can anyone identify it?

The encyclopedia lists three kinds of intelligence: "Intelligence, human"; "Intelligence, animal"; and "Intelligence, military". He was a perfect example of "intelligence, military".

Posted By: jmh more - 02/24/02 12:09 AM
Didn't we discover the American usage of silverware (we say cutlery) to give us:
plastic silverware
to be used with our
plastic glasses

Posted By: belMarduk Re: more - 02/24/02 01:25 AM
Oh, I must have missed that thread. In Montréal we say plastic cutlery. We sell some, and that is what we write on the packaging for customers all across Canada.

Posted By: modestgoddess Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/24/02 04:39 PM
what about "holy war" or "religious war"?

btw, I went to a series of talks on Islam recently, and discovered from these that "jihad" DOES NOT translate as "holy war." Its literal meaning is more closely translated as "struggle." An example: an alcoholic battling his addiction is engaged in jihad.

Posted By: belMarduk Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/24/02 04:49 PM
That is interesting MG. Is it struggle alone or holy struggle?

Posted By: Capital Kiwi Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/24/02 05:57 PM
An Islamic friend who also speaks fairly fluent Arabic told me some years ago that jihad is one of those mutable words which acquires its meaning as much from the context as from its base definition which is "a striving".

Arabic is full of allusions, and you are expected to understand what is meant by some words from the context they are used in. Therefore "jihad" in the religious sense is a "holy struggle". What kind of a holy struggle depends on the context.

The Taliban called the war with the western alliance a jihad but appeared to lose a lot of moderate support in doing so because it was clear to most educated Moslems that it was no such thing. It was just another tawdry political war. If the attack had been on say Mecca or Medina on the other hand, it would have been another thing entirely!

From the Taliban's point of view, however, it was probably a fair enough call. They did seem to believe that they were the keepers of a "pure" form of Islam completely lacking elsewhere, and that the attacks against them were an attempt to stamp it out. They didn't seem to want to understand that most of the world just saw that as a beneficial second-order effect!

Posted By: duncan large Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/26/02 02:16 PM
Soccer - related .......Scottish Goalkeeper

the Duncster
Posted By: Rubrick Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/26/02 02:48 PM
Soccer - related .......Scottish Goalkeeper

Cruel..... but necessary.

When a well-known Scottish goalkeeper was recently diagnosed with a mild form of schizophrenia, opposition fans got wind of this and they started to shout from the terraces: There're are only two Andy Gorams!

Posted By: Keiva Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/26/02 04:20 PM
It may be only the USn's who can appreciate that the city of Humble, Texas is oxymoronic.

Posted By: jmh Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 02/26/02 10:26 PM
>Soccer - related .......Scottish Goalkeeper

OK - howabout:
English Skier
(or at least English Olympic Medal Winning Skier)


Posted By: boronia Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 03/01/02 01:54 PM
not original, so don't wail on me - but I've heard people argue that "American English" is an oxymoron ...

Posted By: Angel Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 03/02/02 01:56 AM
How about "hot water heater"?

And can anyone tell me why we drive on a parkway, but park on a driveway?


Posted By: modestgoddess Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 03/02/02 03:24 AM
Hi Bel -

haven't been on in awhile, sorry! but think Captain Kiwi put it better than I could have.....

My understanding, from the talks I attended, was that "jihad" just means "struggle" and must never be mistranslated as "holy war" - Muslims don't believe in any such thing. They do believe in war, but only under certain circumstances and only when conducted according to certain principles. The attacks on the World Trade Centre towers DID NOT fall into the realm of acceptable war actions, for example.

It's interesting that the Taliban think they are the "pure" Muslims and that all Muslims in the world should be like them....The Muslim who gave the talks I attended was adamant that the Taliban is WRONG - an extremist group. I think I'm remembering correctly if I say that he rejected the notion of fundamentalism in Islam (someone must've suggested it with regard to the Taliban). According to him, the Taliban is an example of a COUNTRY'S culture messing with the true message of Islam - something that happens a lot. Another example would be some Middle Eastern countries (his examples were Jordan, Egypt and Syria, I think? could be misremembering, should've taken notes!), in which the Muslims drink - something that is a no-no in the Qu'ran. And he said that what Muslims in Kingston (where I am) hoped for, was to lose the cultural implications from their home countries and focus on the true meaning of Islam. Another interesting note regarding the Taliban and the practice of Islam: this speaker told us that women are much respected in the Qu'ran and are definitely seen as independent human beings, with control over their own money/possessions/destiny. Education is seen as important for both sexes. I've heard that about Judaism, too. Wonder why Christianity doesn't stress the importance of education? Something I find sort of disappointing about my religious background.....

I've also heard of a Muslim, living in North America, saying he found it much easier to be a Muslim in a non-Muslim country....

Posted By: Capital Kiwi Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 03/02/02 07:01 AM
Captain Kiwi Thanks for the promotion, boastless deity-of=-the-female-persuasion. I've been made up to "captain" before, but I keep getting busted back to buck private ...

You said that I've also heard of a Muslim, living in North America, saying he found it much easier to be a Muslim in a non-Muslim country....

Don't think you'd find that the Muslims living in Britain would be saying that just at the moment. The Muslim taxi drivers in Peterborough, just up the road from where I live, were attacked and reviled shortly after September 11, to the point where they often stopped working. Things have settled down somewhat, but not all that much.





Posted By: modestgoddess Maybe a Capital Captain?! - 03/02/02 05:34 PM
Whoops - hazard of posting late at night when should be in bed....! Sorry to re-name you, Capital!

The Muslim I heard of, who said he found it easier to be a Muslim in a non-Muslim country, said that BEFORE Sept. 11, I believe. Don't imagine he would have said it of living in a Hindu country, either....and probably especially not about the Indian province of Gujarat.

WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!

Posted By: Capital Kiwi Re: Maybe a Capital Captain?! - 03/02/02 11:54 PM
WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!

Well ... in India, I believe, the reason is caste, population/resource pressure, rabble-rousing and sheer bloodymindedness.

Posted By: modestgoddess Re: Maybe a Capital Captain?! - 03/03/02 03:50 AM
ah, but these are not good enough excuses....although I have to confess I don't know enough about Hinduism to comment, I do know the three "Book" religions (Christianity, Islam and Judaism) preach tolerance, if not acceptance, and peace and love, and living your life as an offering to God. - Is Hinduism polytheist? I think it is....Wonder what their gods tell them?

Uh-oh, I don't know if this link will work or if interested people will have to cut and paste it into a blank page....Nice little comment on why we should all get along, I thought. And let's face it, it's not often God gives a press conference.

http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/god_clarifies_dont_kill.html

Posted By: inselpeter Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 03/03/02 05:55 AM
<<civil lawyer/attorney?>>

Criminal law.

Criminal lawyer. Oops! That's a tautology. (Timothy Leary)

Posted By: Capital Kiwi Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 03/03/02 06:09 AM
Hey, welcome back IP! How goes it?

Posted By: inselpeter Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 03/03/02 06:19 AM
It goes really well, actually. Thanks(!)

Posted By: Capital Kiwi Re: Maybe a Capital Captain?! - 03/03/02 06:24 AM
Not bad, ModGod, but having your old man interviewed by The Onion is surely somewhat, ah, obvious, isn't it?

Anyhow, I found this little gem http://www.theonion.com/onion3735/security_beefed_up.html while I was there which I think sums the whole thing up rather nicely ...

Posted By: Keiva Re: Top 41 oxymorons thread - 03/03/02 12:12 PM
I've been made up to "captain" before, but I keep getting busted back to buck private

You naughty boy. But wouldn't a nautical captain be busted back to seaman?

But perhaps CK is being creatively modest, since the title captain is a high ranking in the navy than in the army.

Posted By: of troy Hinduism and more... - 03/03/02 02:54 PM
currently there is a exhibit at American Museum of Natural History- (NY) about Hindu aspects of worship
http://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/meeting_god/index.html?src=h_h you can read about some of the ideas.

It seems that Hindu's worship aspects of god..

what is interesting about hinduism, and judism, is both religions are extremely old.. and both religions are ones you are born into. both christianity and (i think a lesser degree)Ismlam, are religions that copy from judism, but are open to all comers. while it is possible to convert to judism, prostilatizing, and looking for new members has never been an aspect of judism.

if a group of people lived near to jews, and came to see the idea of one god, the idea of law, of living by the word of god, as a good thing, there was no practical way for them to "join". One aspect of christianity is that jesus was the messiah, but an other aspect was, it an created opportunities for many people to join a group that met their needs.. the god of the the big three (judism, christianity, and islam) is very different than the roman or greek gods.. (one other signifigant difference. Judism does not hold with slavery. it is considered immoral. Indenturing servents for 10 years is ok, but not holding slaves. Unfortunately, both christianity and islamic people tend to forget this!--if you were a slave, judism must have looked very attractive!)

both islam and buddism became big alternative in area where Hinduism was practiced. both did away with a ancient cast system-- in buddism, the caste system was 'transformed' into aspect of re-incarnation..

this is a very simplistic look, and is only my opinion..



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