ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA, SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...In their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."

THE AXIS PANDEMIC

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application.

Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

Dear TEd: I'm shedding great big tears of frustration after reading your masterpiece. I can't find Chadguay on any of my maps.

axes of evil Could be demonic guitars!

while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be
Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

Sounds like your kind of sheep, CapK!

A masterpiece indeed, Ted. My tears are from laughter. More!

LOL, TEd -- for the same reason as you are!

"Right. They are Just as Evil...In their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."

The others are, or course, merely the lesser of the two Evils.

>More.

Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.com

Excellent! TEd, you are so...so...somewhat evil.

hmmmmmmm.... Max, noting that you are the orginal quoter, but not the original author [and sticking tongue firmly in cheek]: Would this be an instance where someone other than the original author is the primary victim of the plagiarism? [ducking for cover -e]

Bill et al.

NO, I did not write this. Someone sent it to me and I thought AWAD folks would appreciate it. Didn't mean to mislead anyone. Just didn't think.

TEd

Keiva:

This reminds me of a friend of mine who rented an apartment from a not-so-happy couple. When they divorced both of them began dunning him for the rent. Truly he was faced with the evil of two lessors.

TEd

Story this morning about airline pilots using an axe on deranged passenger who forced his way into cockpit.

<<The others are, or course, merely the lesser of the two Evils.>>

And then there was the cockroach who ran a boarding house and became the lessor of two weevils.

If that's not sufficient... A cockroach and a weevil (both winos) were imbibing with a new acquaintance. After they'd finished the bottle, they decided to stroll down the gutter in search of food. The cockroach and the weevil arose and walked quite well; but the new acquaintance staggered around and generally disgraced himself, causing the cockroach to remark: "Chiggers can't be boozers."

Tsyganka, ducking in all directions

while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

Sounds like your kind of sheep, CapK!

Oh? You say this to someone who named his pet sheep "Mint Sauce"? And that was an oblique one. I've known of a few sheep who gloried in the name of "Roast".

Thanks TEd - I don't care if you got it in an e-mail it is hilarious.

But Max, you have recently provided two absolutely hilarious satire sites (the other concerns Bush's popcorm-ala-Enron). If you have any more such links, I'm begging you, please share!

Abso-friggin'-lutely [wanders-off-still-aggrieved-e]

Does this mean, MaxQ that I should be similarly aggrieved, that you pipped my post by re-posting the satirewire article about Australia two days after I did in the Australian Culture thread?

Touche! Sorry - the special character thing-o doesn't work so please put your own emPHAsis

Hev

"no longer a stranger..."