A simple question....

If the middle of your body is your midriff, is the whole of your body your riff? Why?

(Started wondering about this when I saw a women's clothing advert on TV this morning...)

stales

Well, Stales,

Per my trusty, never dusty Webster's:

midriff (noun) 1. The diaphragm. 2. The part of the body between the chest and the abdomen.

from OE midd(mid) + hrif(belly)

Sounds reduntant to me!

Angel

A riff is a guitar lick. Does that help ya out? CapK knows of which I speak

I know someone what calls their spare tyres midriff and midraff.

GT

As a male ages and his youthful, manly chest is replaced by a spare tire at a somewhat lower level (that is as his profile changes from a P shape to a b shape), is that process called mid-drift?

that is as his profile changes from a P shape to a b shape

Is that P for Prime and b for beer?

...manly chest is replaced by a spare tire at a somewhat lower level..

I remember my Dad, 75 yrs old and a Cockney, having a little rhyme for this process....

When a person to the age of 40 doth come,
for a man it goes to his waist.
To a woman, her bum.

or words to that effect. I'd be interested if anybody has heard the correct quote and/or can attribute it.

stales

And this is only a bit of whimsy:

A woman with child has a midrife.

Bit of trivia from MSN home page :
Which star had her belly button removed?
The correct answer: B. Cindy Crawford
Well, not really removed. In the July 1998 issue of Elle magazine, Crawford’s navel was air-brushed out of a swimsuit spread when editors felt it “clashed” with the $300 bikini she was modeling. So it wasn’t a real nip-and-tuck.

A woman with child has a midrife.

Does this have anything to do with a midrife crisis?

midrife crisis = MORNING SICKNESS ALL THE TIME EVERY HOUR OF THE DAY AND NIGHT

Sonewhere I saw an anecdote attributed to Sir Conan Doyle, about Adam in Heaven being reclusive, and hiding to avoid newcomers. God asked: "Where's Adam?" Sir Conan Doyle darted into a crowd and brought out sheepish Adam. God asked: "How did you know he was Adam?"
Sir Conan Doyle smugly replied: " No navel."

Adam was the luckiest of men: he had no mother-in-law.

Adam was the unluckiest of men. He had no mother.

You know why God made Eve, don't you? After He made Adam, He thought, "I can do better than that!"

[giggling madly while ducking the imminent retaliatory barrage]

You're right, French pi--He wanted to get it right on the second try... [quick shove over, I need cover e]

Adam and Eve just prove that this god of yours had a really rotten sense of humor!

WARNING: SELF-YART
Reminds me of a joke.
God pays a visit, routine check-up, on Adam. God says"How's everything with you. Happy here?" Adam says,"Great place. I particularly like what you did with the garden here, but I only have one teeny complaint. I have noticed that all the animals here have mates. Will I be given one?" God slaps his forehead and says"D'oh! I forgot all about that! I'll tell you what. How would you like a beautiful woman, curved just right, one that will obey your every wish and take care of all your needs before you even know you have them." Adam says"Gee, that sounds great. What's the catch?" God says, "Well, it's gonna cost you an arm and a leg." Adam thinks about it for awhile and says"What can I get for a rib?"(bah-dum-dum)

"What can I get for a rib?"

Only proves, man gets what he pays for! (move over Fran and Jackie, I need cover too!)

I have often thought that it is mildly blasphenous to blame human frailty on God. Obviously, though,He could have made us less error prone. After all,He has infinite power.

If one gets liposuction on the tummy does it create a midrift?

I read somewhere that the Earth is God's termite farm ... and that makes more sense to me than any other retrospective rationale for belief in God!

Joke given to me, in reply, when I retold Connie's above joke to a buddy:

God pays a visit, routine check-up, on Eve. "Eve," says God, "I wanted to check up on how that body of yours is working out. After all, it's a new prototype model -- I don't make many featherless bipeds -- and it has a lot of moving parts. Any complaints?" "Just fine, thank you" says Eve, "except for one thing. Why in heck did you give me three breasts?" Seeing God's quizzical look, Eve continues, "Look, pal [er, Pal], with three my clothes won't fit; it's more weight to carry around; and more to sag. Besides, that third, middle breast has no useful purpose, unless a woman has triplets."

Says God, "Well, what would you like Me to do with?" "I don't care what You do with it," Eve replies. "Just find something else You can do with a useless boob."

So the Lord created Adam.

The 9/11 events seem to have affected the above. Per todays' newspaper (excerpted):

A suspicious boob - in the aftermath of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks there also have been absurdities and excesses. [A woman] tells us her prosthesis -- "my fake boob" -- was confiscated by [airport] security guards ... she tossed the $390 prosthetic breast into her carry-on bag, choosing to go braless for fear that the underwire in the garment would set off the metal detector. A sharp-eyed security guard asked to examine the squishy, flesh-colored item. Not convinced it wasn't filled with a dangerous liquid, the security staffer seized the breast as other passengers looked on. Several phone calls later, the breast was delivered to the exasperated woman's home the next day.

Funny thing about security guards, something the English are extremely fond of employing lots of.

1. You choose your security guard based on build, not brains. Da bigga da betta. Haven't met a smart one yet.
2. You pay them peanuts because they often can't get any other kinda work and theys goin cheap.
3. You puttem in a fancy uniform which oozes the "power" pheromones and they go straight to the hindbrain. If the guard has one.
4. Then you givem control over what you do. And expect them to be able to distinguish between plastic boobs and C4.

Isn't there something fundamentally wrong with this picture?

Isn't there something fundamentally wrong with this picture?

Just got off the phone with my son, the 22 year old National Guardsman. He has just been informed that he is going to New York City for airport security guard duty. Is he trained for this? Hail no! Does he get paid well? Uh uh! Does he have a fancy uniform? You betcha! Can he tell the difference between a plastic boob and C4? I doubt it!

But, CK, I do take exception to Haven't met a smart one yet. But, then again, you haven't met my son, have you? By the way, he's 6 foot 7 inches tall. He is a biggun!

But did he ask for this assignment? No. He was given it. Will he do the job? To the best of his abilities. He would lay down his life for a job given him by his country. Am I proud of him? You better believe it.

He would lay down his life for a job given him by his country.
Bravo! Bravo!Bravo! Three cheers! Good for him, and for the sons of Wow and Consuelo, and all our other fine servicepeople.

In my recent life as a Recruitment Consultant I had occasion to interview a young chap who'd just graduated from one of our better "technical" universities. Like Angel's son he was also a biggun, coming in at around 6/6. Psychometric testing confirmed his reasoning skills as being well into the top quartile.

And his degree?............Security!

He was however, quite disillusioned with the qualification. (Before reading on, you should be aware that Aussie employers inevitably look for technical expertise in their appointees - derived either through their studies or on the job. This contrasts with the european/US & South African notion that completion of a university course indicates a person is capable of functioning on a higher plane.) No employer was impressed and crowd control companies were only interested in his size and/or his martial arts expertise. It was a new degree and he was in the first (and only) graduating class. I became a big fan of his because he stuck with the course, even after he recognised its potential lack of value before he was half way through the three years.

In hindsight, perhaps 911 has created opportunities for him and his classmates. I hope so.

stales

the european/US & South African notion that completion of a university course indicates a person is capable of functioning on a higher plane.

I think that notion is slowly going away. Co-ops and Internships are becoming more and more popular as employers see how beneficial it is to hire someone who has had experience in the real world workplace. My school, U. of Cinci, was the first to require cooperative education as part of the degree. It started in the Engineering College and then spread to most of the other majors. Many people come here mainly because of the co-op opportunity. I'm in the School of Architecture and Interior Design. Co-op plays a major part in why Arch is ranked 3rd in the nation (behind Harvard and Cornell) and Interior is ranked 1st.

Whilst I may be a part of the "technical training leading to employment" mindset of Australia, I don't necessarily support it.

I believe it's no coincidence that Australia is the small business capital of the world - (something we shouldn't be proud of). All Aussie brand icons (yes, even our beers as my transTasman colleagues have pointed out) are owned by overseas interests. Speedo swimming costumes, Akubra hats, Dryzabone oilskin coats, Vegemite, Arnotts Biscuits etc.

A typical Aussie business (employing less than 50 people) believes it cannot afford to train people on the job. The practice is often therefore to employ somebody from the industry (thus not introducing any new 'genes' into the company) or (more often), poach somebody for a few dollars more from the opposition. This cannot be construed as a growth strategy and thus the business perpetuates (if it's lucky), rarely breaking out of its market spot or growing beyond an immature state.

On the other hand european, US and South African corporations are all gargantuan when compared with our biggest businesses and, guess what, they place more emphasis upon the quality of your degree than the subjects you studied. They employ by intellect and maturity then TRAIN their people in the ways that have made their business successful.

I also believe that this is why a typical Australian employee only sticks with one employer for (say) two to five years before changing jobs (inevitably to move a step up the ladder because there's nothing for them where they are). Another anti-growth strategy.

stales

). All Aussie brand icons (yes, even our beers as my transTasman colleagues have pointed out) are owned by overseas interests. Speedo swimming costumes, Akubra hats, Dryzabone oilskin coats, Vegemite, Arnotts Biscuits etc.

Careful with the icons there, Stales. But it does go both ways, trans-Tasman-wise. Kiwi shoe polish is owned by Australian interests. 'Parently the owner's wife was Kiwi. Imagine, the Kiwi brand is NOT owned by Zildian interests!

But that's okay. We know that you won't do anything useful with it ...