In honour pf the fast-approaching season I'd like to share a little fun with you. I hope any Louisiana readers will not be offended.

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One Fine Day on the Bayou
(first of twelve)

Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, you one sweet lover done say you gonna sin little me one present all twelve days of Crissmus. I git so excited I no take my shrimp boat out fishin, eh? Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma.

Nice stuff, probably if you live in Louisiana. But
Christmas Day is Day One along with its Partridge.
Day 12 is Twelfth Night, January 6. The time before
Christmas is historically "Advent", to prepare for
Christmas.

So I suppose I say WELCOME, but you are just a mite off
on you calendar.

How interesting, LukejavanVIII, but down here in the South we only celebrate Christmas until Christmas Day and then we throw the Christmas tree into a swamp to start a summer bream bed.

Go ahead, Bobby Shaftoe, pole your pirque down the bayou. Your cajun Christmas story is great fun.

Day 2:
Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem wid andouille an made some gumbo out of dem.

I was not pooh-poohing him, just comparing traditions. The
tradidional with what happens in America. Christmas was
the partridge in days gone by, nowadays America sees the
Christmas tree in the creek, as you say, or on the
curb waiting for trash haulaway. Only Renaissance groups
celebrate Twelfth Night. The Orthodox Christians, however,
following the Julian Calendar celebrate Christmas on 6 January.
Go ahead Bob, I'm following you, and enjoying it too.


Among many others: Christmas Day is Day One
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Twelve_Days_of_Christmas_(song)

Day 3: Dear Boudreaux, Why doan you sent some crawfish? I'm tired of eating dem darn birds. gave two of dose prissy French chickens to Marie Trahan over at Grans Bayou an fed the tird one to my dog Phideaux. Marie needed some sparing partners for her fighting rooster.

Day 4: Dear Boudreaux, Mon Dieux! I tol you no more friggin birds. Deez four, what you call dem "calling birds" were so noisy you could hear dem all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps, an fed de rest of dem to de gators.

Day 5: Dear Boudreaux, You finally sen' somethin useful. I like dem golden rings, me. I hocked dem at da pawn shop in Thibodeaux and got enuf money to fix da shaft on my shrimp boat an buy a round for da boys at de Raisin' Cane Lounge. Merci Beaucoup!

Day 6: Dear Boudreaux, Cochon! Back to da birds, you coonass turkey!!! Poor egg suckin' Phideaux is scared to death at dem six geeses. He tried to eat dems eggs and dey peck de heck out ah his snout. Dey good at eating cockroaches, though. I may stuff one of dem wit erster dressing on Christmas day.

Day 7: Dear Boudreaux, I'm gonna wring your fool neck next time I see you. Thibeau, da mailman, is ready to kill ya. The merde from all dem birds is stinkin' up his mailboat. He afraid someone will slip on dat stuff and sue him good. I let those seven swans loose to swim on de bayou and some duck hunters from Mississippi blasted dem out of de water. Talk to you tomorrow.

Day 8: Dear Boudreaux, poor Thibeau, he had to make tree trips on his mailboat to deliver dem 8 maids-a-milkin and their cows. One of dem cows got spooked by da alligators and almost tipped over da boat. I doan like dem shiftless maids, me no. I tolt dem to get to work guttin fish and sweepinq the shack but dey say it wasn't in dair contract. Dey probably tink dey too good ta skin nutrias I caught las night.

Day 9: Dear Boudreaux, What you trying to do huh? Thibeau had to borrow the Lutcher ferry to carry dem jumpin twits you call Lords-a-Leaping across de bayou. As soon as dey gots here dey wanted a tea break with crumpets. I doan know what dat means but I says, "Well La Di Da. You get Chicory coffee or nuttin." Mon Dieu, Boudreaux. What I'm gonna feed all dese bozos? Dey too snooty for fried nutria, and de cows done eat my turnip greens.

Day 10: Dear Boudreaux, You got to be outs you mind! If de mailman don't kill you, I will fo sure. Today he deliver 10 half nikid floozies from Bourbon Street. Dey said dey be "Ladies Dancin" but dey doan act like ladies in front of dose Limey twits. Dey almos left after one of dem got bit by a water moccasin over by da out-house. I had to butcher 2 cows to feed toute le monde an had to get toilet paper. De Sears catalog wasn't good enuf fer dose hoity toity Lords' royal behin.

Day 11: Dear Boudreaux, where y'at? Cheerio an pip pip. Your 11 pipers piping arrives today from de House of Blues, second lining as dey got off de boat. We fixed snuffed goose and beef jambalaya, finished da whiskey and we having a fais-do-do. Da new mailman he drink a bottle of Jack Daniel an he having a good time yeah dancing with de floozies. Thibeau he jump off de Sunshine Bridge yesterday, screaming your name. If you get a mysterious, ticking package in de mail, doan open it.

Yip, Shaftoe; me for one (I'm too a coonass and 'dat makes me two) got a mammy working on a chain gang named - chaw,chaw,chaw -Poke Sallet Anne".
Yes, it was a shame, the gators got my granny.

Day 12: Dear Boudreaux, I sorry to tell ya but I not your true love anymore, no. After da fais-do-do, I spent de night with Jacque, de head piper. We decide to open a restaurant and gentleman's club on de bayou. Dem ladies can learn lap dancing and make $20 ever guy come in. De Lords we stop leapin and make waiters an valet park de boats. Since de maids doan have no more cows ta milk, I goin train dem set my crab traps, watch my trotlines, an run my shrimpin business. We gonna gross a million clams next year.

And to all a good night.

Lighten up, Faldage, it's Christmas. We missed your Thanksgiving thanks but it's not too late to trade your humbug for a cup of Christmas cheer. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOURS AND MAY THE GOOD LORD BLESS YOU THROUGHOUT THE COMING YEAR.

And to all a good night = Bah, humbug? What kind English you speak there in Missippi?

My, my. Ruffled feathers on Day Qne, ruffled feathers on Day Twelve. Not perzackly the Best Foot Forward for a season of good cheer and magnanimity, but sure fits right in with all them birds flappin around.

Have a great holiday, y'all all, and a happy and safe new year !

Well, I, for one, loved your rendition of The Twelve Days of Christmas.

Yep, It kept me coming back.

most interesting, out of the ordinary.