It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of sabrage must be in want of a definition. Thus I submit to you the following candidates for this round's word.


(A) :The final act of Armenian composer Aram Khachaturian's ballet "Gayane". There, a fantastic sword twirling dance movement -"The Sabre Dance"- dominates the third act. So much so that the third act entire is today known as the sabrage.

(B) the act of opening a bottle of champagne with a sabre

(C) n., swordsmanship; specifically, to cut off an opponent's appendage

(D) a stylized routine demonstrating prowess with a flat-bladed sword

(E) The ability to have two or more trains of thought at the same time.

(F) A usually elongated depression between geologic faults.

(G) A group of native-born Israelis.

(H) sabrage (sá.brage) : local name [West Montana] for sagebrush; perennial of the genera Artemisia.

(I) Sprinkling sand on a still-wet document or signature

(J) An infusion of herbs injected under the skin of poultry, customarily chicken or duck, before roasting.

(K) Christian theology: the gift of the Christ. <-- this is a joke, do not vote. I apologize for insulting anyone's intelligence by overstating what is obvious to anyone who has read the thread below. Then again some people may vote without reading the thread, or simply deserve to have their intelligence insulted. Enjoy the game.

Well, since I do... (E)

Thank you.

I'm thinking that maybe this has nothing whatsoever to do with sabres, sagebrush or sage. I'm going to guess I.

-joe (I would have gone for baseball metrics) friday

As Joe dismisses 5 to 6 healthy possiblities with a single blow of the sword , it's one of those I'll choose and the winner is : A

ooh, I like I, too.

I pity whoever submitted E, its having gotten Milo's Kiss of Death.

I'll go with G.

How very romantic. A quote from "Goldfinger".

Sometimes an armil is just an armil.

I'll take (D), please.

I'll go with (K)

Indeed! I was making a reference to that chapter of Goldfinger in which James Bond, having assassinated the tennants of Pemberley with his bare hands, drinks a double bourbon and plots his seduction of Elizabeth Bennett while contemplating life and death in general. Terrific stuff.



At this point I should mention that I am accepting late submissions until midnight, and at this point the very next person to send me one is guaranteed at least one vote.

Done.

It is now 6:23 AM Central Standard Daylight Savings Time the early morning of December 10 2007 and my bogus bonus (K) definition was sent to Mr. Hogalex exactly 37 seconds ago.

Sorry, but you other people are too late.

I love the idea of A. Even if it is not the right choice, there should be a word for extended musical sword dances in ballet!

I prefer a spatula to open my beer!
But B is just as creative.

so is that a vote for (A)?

I'll take Anna, please. Her choice I mean. It sounds perilously obvious but still sells. .. (D) ..

I'll go with I .

Where's the Joke, Alex? I derived at the definition above by giving each letter in the word SABRAGE a numerical value in accord with its position in the alphabet e.g. a=1, b=2, c-3, etc.

The number unique to the letters in "sabrage" turned out to be 19 1 2 18 1 7 5, so I googled 191218175 and was suprized to find only one google entry.

Then I returned here and wrote the definition for (K).

Now google --> 191218175 <--

Alex Williams, I resent your implication that I am somehow insulting the intelligence of the participants on this board.

Is it the Christian aspect of my definition that you find so offensive?

I'm not personally offended but your definition has upset a neighbor and it's caused me no little trouble. Lord Satan, the elder gent next door, was most upset at your "hate speach" as he calls it. He's quite sensitive, you know. Thrown out on his arse and all that. He's been crying on my shoulder all afternoon. He's quite clingy, to be honest. (Wretched breath too, if you must know.) Can't stop complaining about how unfair it all was, and if hadn't been for "that rascal Milton" -- he uses the word rascal without irony, by the way, as it were the strongest possible epithet, most strange -- if it hadn't been for that rascal Milton and his slanted analysis of that whole unfortunate misunderstanding things would've turned out much better.

So I had to console the poor creature all hours today, and he only just went home this minute. Now he's playing his fiddle, which he does when he's blue, which is quite often frankly. And he's quite good as a matter of fact but the music is so depressing. Honestly. The hymns are the worst. I think what really has gotten him down is that he never, ever, ever gets anything for Christmas, not all these years. And when he read your definition, "the gift of Christ," he misunderstood it completely, and started ranting and raving about the beautiful golden harp that He got last Christmas (always in tune, apparently), and the pony the year before that, and how He's getting Hannah Montana tickets this year, and on and on. Made quite a spectacle of himself, frankly, although to be fair I should mention that he was in his cups. (Fantastic wine cellar, did I mention that?)

So I thought it would be for the best if no one else voted for that particular submission, to avoid any further hurt feelings and all that. And besides its inclusion in the first place was itself a matter of jest on the coattails of nharren's [wasted] vote. So there you have it.

Well. I guess you know best.

He may know best,
what to do with the rest,
but the vote,
which I tote,
was by no means a jest.

Now google --> 191218175 <--

Come on! It is a peculiar outcome, whatever one's real or
feigned sensibilities may be. The old cosmic joke.

Perhaps I can return us the putative theme of this thread and vote for J?

Alex--you really ought to write for publication, should you ever get the time. (Sorry, wofa, didn't mean to disrupt your effort. Ok, back on track now, everybody!)

No, your vote wasn't the jest. The late addition of (K) to the choices was the joke. Your vote was merely wasted, although there is some humor in that.

Has the Hogmaster set a deadline for voting?

And congratulations: the huff and hubris of your friend and neighbor over at 666 Broadway has bumped this Hogwash thread ahead of Jesus.

( google --> 191218175 )

But still behind the Beatles?

Hah!Behind the Beatles, but while the entry first only appeared when I Googled "in English" it now hits "nederlands" directly.
But where did the concrete Jesus go now?

The usual convention is that a week is allowed for voting, no? So voting will remain open until at least late Sunday night.

I'll take I - providing that lame-os who haven't been around for a while are still welcome to vote... (thanks for the tails down, ASp!)

D for me

Yes (my vote is indeed for A).