Gentle readers do peruse
The many different views
Offered from the pews
Of our esteemed congregation

Of yaks, and hawks and fish
Of goats' milk in a dish
Or perhaps, if you wish
Wedding songs from foreign nations

Or, arctic boats with outboard motors!
I ask as the promoter:
Which will deceive more voters?
(The mate-swapping has panache.)

To every taste they cater
Hats off to their creators!
I'm proud to be curator
Of this latest hog we wash!

From the Himalayas to the seas
Our liars aim to please
So pick one at your ease
The truth will come out later

Is it "jaundice"? Don't be yellow
Choose one bravely, proudly bellow!
It may be authored by your fellow
Don't blame me, I'm just the waiter.

******************************************

Will the real YARAK please stand up?

a) Jaundice (from Arabic yarqaan)
b) Dried buffalo dung
c) A shaman in training. From the Tungus yoraq, son-in-law
d) Anglicized from the Bedouin "uareg"; desert terrain where the wind moves shallow dunes across rock
e) A cross between a Camel and a Yak, these herbivores are known for their ability to make sounds that can be understood by most birds
f) A simple yet strong traditional tent structure, made from horse skin, used as housing by the nomadic peoples of the Mongolian steppes
g) The hood of a waterproof insulated jacket
h) A tent made of tanned goat skins and dried dung used as shelter by many nomadic North African tribes
i) From Bhutani yarkh'u, a broad track or path, hewed into the rock, that skirts an almost vertical mountainside
j) The song sung by the groom at a traditional Turkish wedding. The first verse extols the beauty of the bride. The second and third verses are fierce demands for lifelong fidelity, and describe possible penalties of banishment or death for transgression.
k) Aleut kayak with a flat stern for fitting an outboard motor
l) Inuit term for the custom of loaning one's mate to a guest
m) A falconry term describing a hawk in prime condition for hunting
n) A rare Armenian kirtle. See Kimono: a rare Asian yarak.
o) A fish found in the Persian Gulf the flesh of which is popularly believed to have curative powers
p) Cultured goats' milk, consumed in remoter regions of the Himalayas

Alex, you owe me a new keyboard!!

As soon as I stop laughing, I will try to separate the real from the armils® (but are they?...)

Edit: {sufficiently recovered} Despite Logwood's thorough analysis, I vote for C

Alex:

If you keep this up, we are gonna have to petition for a whole new forum for Alex's hogwash. And then, sometime in the not too distant future: your own website, to be followed soon thereafter by offers of book contracts with huge 3 figure advances, and dare we say it, movie rights!

But right now I have to take a P.

Lovely presentation Alex!

a) Jaundice (from Arabic yarqaan)
My first insticts told me that's it. Because "yarak" does sounds it's from a language that is completely unrelated to English. And unlike all other definition this one's short & simple with a very reasonable etymology... BUT, as I thought about it more and ran through the other definitions I was beginning to doubt it. Besides, Alex wouldn't make it that bland right?
b) Dried buffalo dung
Eww! why would anyone come up with a name for that??
c) A shaman in training. From the Tungus yoraq, son-in-law
I don't know... "yarak" and "shaman" sounds like two different languages to me.
d) Anglicized from the Bedouin "uareg"; desert terrain where the wind moves shallow dunes across rock
From Bedouin? Bedouin is not an actual language is it? Truth be told, I also thought "desert" when I pondered to submit a definition, which is exactly why I'm voting no.
e) A cross between a Camel and a Yak, these herbivores are known for thier ability to make sounds that can be understood by most birds
Wherever I see "known for" I just KNOW someone made that up! I say no to that.
f) A simple yet strong traditional tent structure, made from horse skin, used as housing by the nomadic peoples of the Mongolian steppes
What? horse skin? for the sake of the horrible mental image, I'm voting no.
g) The hood of a waterproof insulated jacket
I fail to see why a waterproof jacket would need a different word to its hood. And if it had one, it probably wouldn't be "yarak"!
h) A tent made of tanned goat skins and dried dung used as shelter by many nomadic North African tribes
Let's see, in earlier definitions dried dung has been mentioned, tent has been mentioned and would be mentioned, and goats would be mentioned once again... I guess logic tells me that's the one. This is my pick.
i) From Bhutani yarkh'u, a broad track or path, hewed into the rock, that skirts an almost vertical mountainside
Nice try, Father Steve! whenever a definition starts with the etymology, I'm getting doubtful. But I doubt anyway such a small word would have that definition.
The song sung by the groom at a traditional Turkish wedding. The first verse extols the beauty of the bride. The second and third verses are fierce demands for lifelong fidelity, and describe possible penalties of banishment or death for transgression.
That's actually a good one, and I will read more about it if it's true, but I doubt it is.
k) Aleut kayak with a flat stern for fitting an outboard motor
I seriously doubt Alex would dish out a modern word. Kayak=Yarak... nah, this is just too obvious. No to that.
l) Inuit term for the custom of loaning one's mate to a guest
some people really dig too far in the cold for definitions. No no.
m) A falconry term describing a hawk in prime condition for hunting
That just doesn't sound like what I could imagine "yarak" to represent.
n) A rare Armenian kirtle. See Kimono: a rare Asian yarak.
"yarak" appears in the Kimono's definition? as if it is a known word? ... yea right!
o) A fish found in the Persian Gulf the flesh of which is popularly believed to have curative powers
"Popularly believed to have curative powers? that definition has "phony" written all over it.
p) Cultured goats' milk, consumed in remoter regions of the Himalayas
Right, the goats again. I think the person who submitted it probably knew the original definition and inflected it a bit to make a false one.

To reiterate, I pick H.

I like d.

I like the whimsy of G.

Great poem, O B(o)ard Alex! [goggly eyes-e]

Good word, and brill definitions, everyone... have we ever had such an exotic collection of etymologies before?

I pick J .

Well done, Alex. By all means, Christmas plums for you.

I choose I (eye).

Perhaps I should be more wary of Military Intelligence, but I'll take G too. I mean, also.

I don't have an effin' clue, so I might as well take F

Alex, your AAAB, CCCB… rhyme-schemed verse is marvelous.
I’ve narrowed it down to 15.
My unusually verbose dart board (perhaps a friend of e), says: “If it’s consensual, go with L ”.

I pick P only because I like the word "remoter".

The correct answer is "D".
desert terrain where the wind moves shallow dunes across rock

I should know because I am a amateur geologist.

Ok, so maybe I don't know, but if it is not the defining term for the shallow but wide sand piles over flat rocks that are found thoughout the World, then what is the term used to describe that wind blown effect?

I cheated and checked and the configuration is known as a "yarak".

I'll take c.

O, I guess I'll go fishing.

Your normal fine exotic collection, gang! Fairly perplexed, all I can try is tsuwm’s Armil® test.

a) Jaundice (from Arabic yarqaan)
c) A shaman in training. From the Tungus yoraq, son-in-law
d) Anglicized from the Bedouin "uareg"; desert terrain where the wind moves shallow dunes across rock
From Arabic, into English. Hmmmmm….

f) A simple yet strong traditional tent structure, made from horse skin, used as housing by the nomadic peoples of the Mongolian steppes
g) The hood of a waterproof insulated jacket
h) A tent made of tanned goat skins and dried dung used as shelter by many nomadic North African tribes
Three leathery coverings. Hmmmm…

e) A cross between a Camel and a Yak, these herbivores are known for their ability to make sounds that can be understood by most birds
o) A fish found in the Persian Gulf the flesh of which is popularly believed to have curative powers
b) Dried buffalo dung
Animals or by-products. Hmmmmm…..

i) From Bhutani yarkh'u, a broad track or path, hewed into the rock, that skirts an almost vertical mountainside
k) Aleut kayak with a flat stern for fitting an outboard motor
Sound-alikes from other cultures. Hmmmm…..

j) The song sung by the groom at a traditional Turkish wedding. The first verse extols the beauty of the bride. The second and third verses are fierce demands for lifelong fidelity, and describe possible penalties of banishment or death for transgression.
l) Inuit term for the custom of loaning one's mate to a guest
Indigenous carnal customs. Hmmmmmm….

n) A rare Armenian kirtle. See Kimono: a rare Asian yarak.
p) Cultured goats' milk, consumed in remoter regions of the Himalayas
Exotic terms from Asian lands. Hmmmmm……


All that leaves is:
m) A falconry term describing a hawk in prime condition for hunting

Sheeeeeesh, that sounds just as unlikely in its own right! What part of speech could that be? Otoh, I was reading a fine short story by Gilad Evron in Granta recently that reminds me hunting hawks have a significant history in Palestine, so mebbe it *could be an Arabic term after all. Well, this has to be my choice, I guess.

Quote:

---

a) Jaundice (from Arabic yarqaan)
c) A shaman in training. From the Tungus yoraq, son-in-law
d) Anglicized from the Bedouin "uareg"; desert terrain where the wind moves shallow dunes across rock
From Arabic, into English. Hmmmmm….

---

This would be all well and good, but Tungus is (maybe) an Altaic language spoken in Siberia and totally unrelated to any Semitic language. It is, in fact, the language from which we got shaman (not the original language that spawned the word in the first place, but who's counting?) according to the AHD.