Jay walking has gone off -- and there is no explaination of why its jaywalking and not cake walking..

but how about going straight? I use as the crow flies-- but i heard bee line-- (make a bee line for it...) how else do we go straight-- (and if not straight, how? crooked as a ram's horn?)

as s~ as a die
as bent as a $200 note (trad in Kentucky, I hear)

Fruit flies like a banana.

Dear of troy: If I remember right one post about jaywalking mentioned that "jay" was used to describe a stupid person. Cakewalking referred I think to a party challenge to do something like dance steps to win a cake as prize.
"As the crow flies" means the shortest distance from one place to another disregarding roads.Bee line is very interesting. Bees navigate by the sun, and do not leave the nest much when the overcast is thick. When a bee finds a new source of nectar, on its return to the hive does a "dance" on the comb, surrounded by other worker bees, waggling the posterior and climbing at an angle that tells the other bees the direction and distance of the find. Naturally the workers then go straight to the new found pasture.
"Crooked as a ram's horn" is not a very good figure of speech. Ram's horns tend to be somewhat helical, but simply cannot be significantly "crooked" which originally meant curved or bent, but now most people think of as meaning sharply angled.

There was a crooked
man
Who walked a crooked
mile.
He found a crooked
sixpence
Against a crooked
stile.
He bought a crooked
cat
Which caught a
crooked mouse,
And they all lived
together
In a crooked little
house.

yes and Time flies like an arrow the classic test of AI- can a computer read it, and recognize there are no such things as "time flies" and that no animal or insect is likely to eat arrows--

I've always heard it as "Time flies like the wind, house flies like the wall."

as bent as a $200 note (trad in Kentucky, I hear)
Mav, Honey, I said crooked vote, not crooked note!
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Well, I've seen a Mayfly, and I've seen a house fly, but I ain't never seen no elephant fly. (Cobbled from Disney's Dumbo.)

In reply to:

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as bent as a $200 note (trad in Kentucky, I hear)

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Well I've heard "queer as a three-dollar bill," and "queer as a football bat." Wasn't there some instance fairly recently of a convenience store clerk in Kentucky accepting a coutnerfeit (obviously) $200 bill or something? *sigh*

"We saw a horse fly and land on the farm."

"Counterfeit reminds me of an old joke: A bimbo hands a clerk in convenience store a ten dollar bill. Clerk says: I can't accept this bill, it's counterfeit." Bimbo screams: "My God, I've been raped!"

Oh puhlease!!! Where are the gutter police when you need them?

Aw, gee, I might never have gotten a chance to tell that ancient one anywhere else.Incidentally the new currency is supposed to be counterfeitproof, and easy to verify. A clerk in a convenience store accepting a counterfeit two hundred dollar bill might well have been in cahoots with the passer, and promised a share.

I think it was actually an ice cream chain, though don't remember the name. The lovely stuff was the detail on the note, which I think carried lots of NRA Rights to Bare Arms type screeds on the back